Norway, Rationalist Utopia

[Lenin McCarthy]

www.nordlys.no/sporten/article6232013.ece (Norwegian)

Considers casting curse upon football club
Referee Mikkel Nils Sara demands an excuse from Lyngen/Karnes. If he doesn't get that, he considers casting a curse upon them. The last club he cast a curse upon got relegated.

L/K came with allegations of match-fixing after the 1-2 defeat in Hammerfest in the weekend, after they had seen assistant referee Sara with a betting coupon at a gas station in advance of the match.

Now Sara demands an apology. The last time he asked for it from a football club, and did not get it, it ended up with him casting a curse upon Hammerfest in 1999.

The team lost game after game, eventually was relegated before coach Terje Hansen settled with Sara. In the meantime, he and the club tried several rituals to get rid of the sorcery - including fishing herring that he sacrificed at a sacrificial stone in Kvalsund.

- I take this seriously, it's serious accusations they make. I have never in my life bet on games I was refereeing. I hope that Lyngen/Karnes give me a call and apologize, and pretty quick. I demand that they do, Mikkel Nils Sara tells Nordlys.
If L/K refuse to apologize, he does not rule out doing what he did in 1999.

Now he's waiting for the team from Northern Troms to make contact.

- We'll see what happens. Maybe they'll contact me, says Sara, who experienced a phone storm yesterday.

He feels that L/K has taken the matter to a level it does not belong on.

- I can hardly talk about it when it sinks so deep. This is a low point, says Mikkel Nils Sara.

[Cain]

He sacrificed a herring?

What sort of self-respecting god is going to bend the universe's laws in return for that kind of offering?  YHVH wanted burned oxen all the time, for no goddamn reason, and he was just a tribal weather/war deity.  Sports and luck are much more demanding!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

He sacrificed a herring?

What sort of self-respecting god is going to bend the universe's laws in return for that kind of offering? 

This, actually.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

What's a phone storm? Is that when Thor gets angry and starts throwing the Aesirs' cell phones?

Man, this ain't my dad. This is a cellphone. I threw it on the ground. What you think I'm stupid? I'm not a part of your system!

[Lenin McCarthy]

What's a phone storm? Is that when Thor gets angry and starts throwing the Aesirs' cell phones?

Man, this ain't my dad. This is a cellphone. I threw it on the ground. What you think I'm stupid? I'm not a part of your system!

I think it just means that guy received a lot of angry phone calls.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

What's a phone storm? Is that when Thor gets angry and starts throwing the Aesirs' cell phones?

Man, this ain't my dad. This is a cellphone. I threw it on the ground. What you think I'm stupid? I'm not a part of your system!

I think it just means that guy received a lot of angry phone calls.

That's less exciting.

[EK WAFFLR]

What's a phone storm? Is that when Thor gets angry and starts throwing the Aesirs' cell phones?

Man, this ain't my dad. This is a cellphone. I threw it on the ground. What you think I'm stupid? I'm not a part of your system!

I think it just means that guy received a lot of angry phone calls.

That's less exciting.

I like your version better.

[Nephew Twiddleton]

What's a phone storm? Is that when Thor gets angry and starts throwing the Aesirs' cell phones?

Man, this ain't my dad. This is a cellphone. I threw it on the ground. What you think I'm stupid? I'm not a part of your system!

I think it just means that guy received a lot of angry phone calls.

That's less exciting.

I like your version better.

Me too. One could see Thor doing such a thing too.