the Best Of...

[East Coast Hustle]

this is where you will find what are in my opinion, the best of all the rants, ramblings, diatribes, etc. that are occasionally posted by the fine members of this board condensed into one thread for your convenience.

[East Coast Hustle]

Letter to the Romans


...being a true and faithful translation of the correspondence sent by Sir gnimbley, Apple Pickler of Discord, O.C.G., G.D.E., to the Church of New Rome, the day that judgment was passed upon the younger Bush who sat precariously upon the seat of power...



Ah, where was I?

Oh, yeah.



gnimbley, a lowly gnome neither graced nor appointed by any power from above or below. nor by the will of his intellect alone,

To the church of the New Rome and the faithful acolytes that worship ever at her feet,

Greetings! Grace and Peace be upon you and upon those who sup at your table and upon those who wait upon your pleasure.



I give thanks to find you in good health and supporting a pleasing attitude towards life. I give thanks that those of you who are amidst despair and turmoil that your health supports your quest for relief. I give thanks that those of you who struggle with physical ailments have the aid of family and friends in retaining an optimistic worldview. And finally I give thanks that those of you who have neither health nor attitude, couldn't give a shit about what I am about to say.

As the bunny would say, gnomes are already full of shit.



I have wandered among you for some short time and will wander indiscriminately for even less, but I hope to be able to break bread with you some time during this journey, be it in person or in spirit. However, as you prepare for my visit, please keep in mind that gnomes are inordinately fond of chocolate chip cookies, deep red wines, and the gentle cuisines.



It is my concern that false prophets are proselytizing among you, speaking words which seem upright and honorable, but like the weasel which stands at your ear and says flattering things to advance his own, these prophets speak that which you wish to hear while they cast your brothers into fire and gather ill-gotten goods to their bosoms.

They speak of justice and the rightly benefits of freedom and democracy, but you live in Rome, the empire disguised as a Republic, which has never seen freedom, and knows only the justice of the lash.



You are the New Rome, the master of all you survey, the richest people in the richest country ever in the history of mankind. You have more than Pharoah who enslaved entire peoples. More than Nero whose possessions encircled the Mediterranean. More than Soloman and David and Nebuchadnezzar combined.

And the false prophets say that this is because the face of God smiles upon you. But which god?

The god they raise up in plastic and bronze and nail to the wall behind the altar? Or the god that miraculously delivers manna in plastic wrapped, refrigerated packages to a building just down the street so you never have to grow your own food?

The god that died so that you need never make sacrifice again? Or the god that accepts the sacrifice of thousands of women and children so that the plague that hates Rome can be obliterated from the earth?

The god that said do unto others as you would have them do unto you? Or the god that says the objective of life is to be he with the biggest house, the most expensive car, the state of the art entertainment system, and the most beauteous concubines?



Your messiah was stripped of his skin and bled dry on a tree of broken bones and you say never again. Never again will they break us and scourge us and grind us into meal. But your messiah looks down at you with eyes of remorse and asks why you refuse to climb up on his cross with him.

Your Jesus stood among people oppressed and destroyed, conquered by the only superpower extant in the world, promised prosperity and freedom if they would only accept Roman culture and the divinity of the Roman gods, a mere token of obsequiousness to those who held the monopoly on proclaimed righteousness.

And promised the scourge and death if they dared speak against what all men knew to be true, that Rome was paramount and had the power to prove it. For who could hold the power, if the gods said nay?

Your Jesus stood among a people broken and occupied, a people crying out for justice and relief, a people enflamed by murder, a people abused by zealots from a foreign land, a people burning for revenge, a people hungry for a messiah to deliver them from the wolves of the world.

But when his contemporaries cried war, he whispered peace. When they cried hate, he whispered love. When they called for justice, he whispered faith. And when they screamed remember the thousands who have been murdered, he counseled turn the other cheek.



The false prophets tell you that you are not Rome, but rather the people of the messiah. They lie. Your messiah preferred to consort with the prostitutes and the homeless, the lepers and the lame.

The false prophets tell you to pray the Prayer of Jebez and thank God for the glory and wealth he had lavished upon your land. They lie. Your messiah said that it was easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.

The false prophets tell you that you must believe everything they say or you are the enemy of yourself, the consort of evil, the whore of Babylon. They lie. Your messiah said blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.

The false prophets say that you must strike down all who raise their voice and hand against you; that you must strike back against those who have hurt you. They lie. Your messiah said love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.



The false prophets turn their back on their god and embrace the virtues of the system that murdered him.

It is no longer the kingdom of God that they seek. It is the kingdom of Rome. In Rome they have stored their treasure. In Rome they have found their god.

They praise the Roman Republic built in the New World. They praise the New Centurians sent across the ocean to occupy foreign lands. They praise the Senate that debates and decides the way best to ensure all Rome's Citizens receive all they demand, regardless of consequence.

In the words of the immortal Pogo, "We have met the Enemy, and He is Us."



Where would Jesus be today? In whose house would he lay down to sleep? Whose feet would he wash? Whose head would he bless?

Have you a clue?



In closing may this blessing be upon you. May you see yourself as others see and understand the glory that waits inside you. Go in peace, brothers and sisters. Go in peace.

Yours, in hope admidst chaos,

gnimbley the gnome

[Turd's Little Helper]

(Ebonical version of tha P to tha muthafuckin' D)

Ay-yo, kato! these hoodz done come out tha bowlling alley wit' some science fo' y'all, so lissenup! They's this hot-azz beeyatch, see, and she done got azzed out o' tha block party by all her peeps, so she come back and toss some bling at 'em, set 'em all to beefin' while she chow on all they hot dogs. See, fo' ev'y cop, they gots to be a thug; fo' ev'y brotha out there lootin' and robbin', they gots to be one goin' to college, etc. etc. etc. So this hottie come by, say "yo, dawg! ain't y'all know y's'posed to go fuck some shit up ev'y now an' then?" she say "otha half cain't exist w'out us, we cain't get by w'out them, but times is tough, and bustas be tryin' to help them come up at our expense, so we gots to go pound tha block to keep they shit in check." so, now y'all askin' "who dis crazy bitch? my babymamma send her by or som'pn?" hell naw, dawg. she the one. the all. the all in one. y'all could call her the original OG, if dat he'p y'all getya mind around it. now I know, y'all want me 'splain how you s'posed to b'lee dis shit. well, cuz, y'ain't. y'aint s'posed to believe shit. then you nugget get all rigid, cats cain't expand they nuggets when they got all dem b'leefs keepin' em all fucked up. so what she sayin is "yo. don't take my word fo' it. but go as Malik if y'all want, I done holla'd at him last week, now go see what he gotta say 'bout all this, but that don't matta none eitha. you gots to go see fo' y'sef. they give you a book? a'ight then. go break me off a page or two so we can twist a blizzy wit'em. good. hit that shit, dawg. thass some illies, yo. y'all good? good. now go. go see what tha fuck I'm talkin' bout. y'eyes done been opened now, yo. go."


"oh, one mo' thing. they's gone be some muhfuckas gone try and put a end to yo' little journey. you can tell 'em, cuz they faces be all sickly and greyish. they's like some real life agent smith shit. watch y'se'f. holla if you need me, but don't be pizzed if y'all just get tha voice mail. peace!"

in a muthafuckin' nutshell fo' yo azz.

[East Coast Hustle]

umm...first one was from Gnimbley, second one was from Mad Skillz...if anyone else is gonna post a piece here, please be sure to quote the author in order to give credit where credit is due....

[I_Kicked_Kennedy]

the second one from mad skillz is pure poetry



i'll be right back. I have explosive diarreah.

[agent compassion]

i'll be right back. I have explosive diarreah.

I can projectile vomit.

[East Coast Hustle]

i'll be right back. I have explosive diarreah.

I can projectile vomit.

whaddaya know...so can I...I used to do it as a party trick way back when I was in high school....then one time i got my ass severely kicked for target vomiting on a group of skinheads who were walking below me in the metro tunnel in downtown seattle...so I haven't done it much since then...cool trick though...

[agent compassion]

I've never made myself do it to someone, but it comes in handy in emergencies.

[East Coast Hustle]

*is having trouble imagining an emergency that would require him to vomit on command*

*wishes he weren't stuck on trying to think of one*

[Nikoli Volkoff]

My friends, I am here tonight to preach a little HATE. That's right kiddies, hate, fear, loathing, and malice. Not, however, the sissy kind of hate espoused by the conspiracy, the "I hate my job", "I hate my boss", or even, "I hate anyone whose interpretation of the bible differs from my own" kinda hate. I am talking, brothers and sisters, about a pure hate, and a hate directed to those that deserve it.

You may ask, "Why Reverend Roger, WHO could POSSIBLY deserve such antipathy?"...Well, I'm here to tell you: Those that have thrown away their freedom and their humanity for a counting house stub; those who have thrown those away for a temporary "security" that the government cannot provide, even if they wanted to.

Hunter S. Thompson called my generation "a generation of swine", and he was right. Big bellies, thin necks, fat wallets, and small brains are the dominant characteristic of the 30-45 year old grayface. There are men who were born to be slaves, and men who were born to be free; much of America falls into the former category today. I do not hate them because they ARE slaves...I hate them because they CHOSE to be slaves. There is nothing more contemptible to a free man than a man who has given his freedom away for ANY price.

In all fairness, of course, many were brought up from birth to be slaves. Between the damn TV and the paulist religion that is passed off as christianity, they were conditioned to be chattel. This, however, is not really an excuse; all free men today are the descendants of slaves who chose to be free, whatever the cost. That these swine would throw that away is a slap in the face of the founding fathers; and in this we are no different than the ancient Greeks, who had a constitutional republic, and threw it away in favor of the tyrants.

So I say unto you, be not merciful to the grayface slaves. They have made their choice, and now they must be made to suffer for it, as an example to future generations who decide that free will is too much of a bother, that liberty is too scary and dangerous.

Smite them. Smash them.

227 years of patriots DEMAND it.

Thank you, and good night.

<transmission ends>
_________________
Roger the human SNAFU.

"What can we do to help you stop screaming?"

You have been banned from this forum.
Please contact the webmaster or board administrator for more information. RAH!

there was more, in the various replys and what not but this sums it up quite well... if ya wnat to know more read the topic.. it hasnt been locked yet

[Nikoli Volkoff]

and a good reply, by attomic bombshell i go believe....

Sisters and of course Brothers, listen to my words:

There are not only the male slaves of orderliness and obedience. striving for comfort and a world easy enough for them to understand. Go on and think a little furter. What about the female slaves to grayface. They come in many shapes and colours. Biting and snapping at other females. Especially the free woman is a favoured target of the grayfacette(slave).
Those female *creatures*, yes i use this word conciously, would rather destroy themselves and other women with them thatn try to think one step further and stop thinking about low-esteem goals like the next date or new clothes. They are a shame to womanhood. Willing to let themselves be exploited for thier looks that will not last long anyway, willing to get themselves humiliated for a little pitty attention. i call this selling off your freedom and power for nothing but peanuts and a f***. A f*** that is not even FUN!

This kind of slaverette for masculine Grayfaceism is what is slowing equality of men and woman down. Its not only men. I will even go so far and say, that the problems a woman has can be followed back to a dreadful mechanism: If there are enough women who do not wish more than please and pose and be decorative, the recepients will gladly take. Thats normal.
And of course this slavery has a lot to do with conditioning. Starts off with barbie dolls and britney spears videos. No, i am not your hateful feminist that frowns whenever she sees naked female flesh. There is a difference between slavish sex appeal and a strong, fierce and chaotic woman who *dares* to *confront* her environment with her sexuality and appeal. Only the strong and free can cope with this kind. Our Lady has and represents this kind of Power. No wonder she was snubbed. This kind of aura and personality is not so popular in a patriarch world. especially with the women conditioned to serve the patriarch rules.

Sisters! having tits is not the same as showing tits. (but both can come in one box) Why not change the thought round a bit. Twist it. A good portion of tits and an ass full of attitude laced with unpredictableness brings more fun to you. Not to speak of the unmasking effect to be seen in the reaction of your surroundings. Those kind of tits are as essential to us as "balls" are to our brothers.
I am not talking about constant overt and direct sexappeal that is quite good at the right time and in the right place. I mean assertiveness and knowing what *you* want. Especially getting it no matter what the *others* may think of you.
Life is bloodywell for living and not serving. When you or your sister is snubbed like our lady take it with pride! The snubbers(ettes!!) prove thier weakness when acting like this. (I call this demasking the weak and willing slaves. Do not look behind.) Go on and especially stay your bloody self! Changing and obeying rules is the first step to slavery.

Think of hate. Just like brother Rev. Roger is talking about. This kind of hate is vital for any thinking human being on this earth. Without this you cannot differ between your free will and the will to serve. This hate keeps us well apart from falling down into the pit of pity and greyfaceism.

Rant and rage and make your own morals! Not the fake ones that were designed to keep the human mind and spirit full of servitude.

[Nikoli Volkoff]

this one was posted by the Sir Hugh... thanks man... this is yummy...

This is a recipe that uses Thai curry. Thai curries are different from the normal powdered curries used in Indian recipes. (At least what most assume are curries.) Indian concoctions are pretty numerous, despite the prevalence of the bland yellow powder stuff. Thai curries are as varied as the person creating them.

Here goes:

To start with, you have to make the curry paste (called 'kaeng' in Thai [sounds like 'gang' in American English]). If you don't wish to make the paste yourself, you can buy it in cans/tins in Asian markets. The best is called "Mae Sri", which is a Thai brand. Look for the red can. A can costs about 20-30 cents.

Kaeng Daeng/ Red Curry Paste

15 dried red chillies (reduce to 8, if you want less spicy)
15 green peppercorns
4 tblsps of chopped garlic
3 tblsps chopped shallots
2 tblsps fresh lemongrass (sliced)
2 teasps chopped coriander root
1 1/2 tblsps chopped fresh galangal
1 1/2 teasps roasted coriander seed
1/2 teaspn roasted cumin seed
1 teaspn shrimp paste
1 teaspn salt

-Slice open the chillies and shake out and discard the seeds. Soak the chillies in warm water until soft and malleable. Grind and mash all of the ingredients together in a mortar until a thick red paste is formed. (Curry paste will last about three days, unless frozen, so you want to use it right away.)


Pineapple Curry

1/2 cup (125ml) coconut cream
1 tblspn hot Red Curry paste (whether self-made or from a can)
300g of chicken breast chopped into small pieces (or eqivalent)
1 1/2 cups (375ml) coconut milk
1 fresh red chilli, seeded and sliced up into bits
1/2 cup sweet basil leaves
1 1/2 teasps sugar
2 tblsps of fish sauce
1/4 teaspn of salt
a few sweet basil leaves to garnish
300g fresh pineapple chunks (if using from a can, drain off all the liquid first)
and/or
150g mushrooms (amount can be modified)
up to 300g of bamboo shoots.

substitute chicken with bamboo shoots or with mushrooms. I actually like adding the mushrooms with the chicken and the shoots. if substituting veggies for the meat, add them later then you would the meat during cooking.

-Heat up coconut cream in a saucepan (or wok) on medium heat till it starts to seperate, then add the red curry paste and stir cook until the paste and cream are well blended and aromatic.
-Add chicken (and/or mushrooms) to the pan and stir all ingredients until chicken is opaque and oil begins to appear.
-Add the coconut milk and pineapple chunks (and bamboo shoots, if used) and stir on medium heat for 5 minutes.
-Stir in sliced chilli, basil, sugar, fish sauce, and salt. Cook another 1-2 minutes so the basil begins to wilt a little.
-Remove from heat, garnish with fresh basil leaves and serve with rice.

note: if substituting the chicken with anything else, pay attention to amounts, as that could change the texture and taste. Curry is very quickly made once the paste is ready. If the curry is too hot, do not try to adjust the amount of paste the next time you make it. That can affect the overall savour of the curry. Simply do as Thai people do and eat it with more white rice, if you can't handle the spice. White rice is the best way to tone down the spice. (Once you master the art of making the curry paste, you can then experiment with the savour.)

[agent compassion]

*is having trouble imagining an emergency that would require him to vomit on command*

*wishes he weren't stuck on trying to think of one*

It involved a toilet, if that helps at all.

[East Coast Hustle]

no...that doesn't help at all...'specially since I found myself in just such a situation this morning...turns out, drinking beer, wine, bourbon, rum, and jaegermeister in the same evening is maybe not such a good idea....

[Nikoli Volkoff]

you would think being the pro. lush that he is Turd would know not to mix anything with his Jagermeister, especially rum.... yuck....

maybe he will learn his leason this time...