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It's that time again! MORE anon email responses!

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 11, 2012, 10:20:49 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

Here we go again.  My PM box is full of PMs from cranks, noobs with no posts, and some "regular" users that have me confused with the voices in their heads.  Without further ado...

1.  I appreciate your concern with my soul, but I am reasonably certain that you're in worse trouble than I am.  You see, God is a Black man, and your bizarre comments concerning President Obama probably haven't amused him.  So when you're getting buggered in hell, don't look over your shoulder.  It might just be me riding you like Trigger.  Ho ho!

2.  Dear sir, if I had a dime for every Goddamn Libertarian dickweed that came in here expecting us all to be free market tards just because RAW used them in a novel (and they were faking it at that), I'd be so fucking rich that I would buy you outright and pimp you out to rough trade.  Honestly, I couldn't give a shit WHAT you read or who wrote it or why you think it's the most amazing idea ever.  NOBODY CARES, least of all ME.  It's nothing but fucking fantasy, and if I wanted THAT, I'd turn the fucking TV back on.  Die.

3.  What?  MORE bad poetry in my inbox?  Shove off.  For real.  You will NEVER equal the greatness that is William McGonnegal, so SHUT UP.  Word salad does NOT equal Kipling.  You're wasting your life.  But you knew that.

4.  Yes, I admit it.  I am Part of the Problem, and I am the reason that women are still second-class citizens.  It wasn't any of the right wing nutjobs or preachers or anything, it was ME.  Right here at PD.  Funny thing is, a bunch of us already HAD that argument, and it was LONG after you regged.  If you can't post about it in public, then you aren't worth actually forming an argument over.  Get your ass back in that kitchen, and get me a turkey pot pie.

5.  Yes, I make fun of Pagans all the time.  Why?  Because I hate you.

6.  No, if that were Jesus talking to you in your head, he'd tell you to do NICE things.  It sounds more like you have Charles Starkweather bouncing around in there, and in lieu of bad jokes and shit, I'll just suggest that you GO TO A DOCTOR.  NOW.

7.  Sorry, I'm married.  However, if you really loved me that much (if "wanting to drink my blood" counts as love), you'd PROVE IT TO ME.  May I suggest watching the movie Taxi Driver for inspiration?  Yes, I remember you from PD, years and years ago.  You were a fucking nut then, and you're a fucking nut now.  If you REALLY need someone to fixate on, may I suggest ECH?  He knows how to show a girl a good time, and I think I can promise you that you'd never forget him.  No matter how much you try.

8.  A curse?  OH NO!  Look, asshole, I just got stung in the fucking balls by a hornet.  A HORNET.  You DON'T IMPRESS ME.  So, yeah, consider this a refusal to retract my post, and BRING IT THE FUCK ON, you patchouli-stinking shit-sucking assbag.  I eagerly await your "psychic attack", no matter how much you "regret the necessity".  It would be a welcome break from hearing you TALK all the damn time.  Seriously, you've PMed me 9 times in two fucking days.  GO OUTSIDE.  TALK TO A GIRL.

9.  Yeah, yeah, I'm the CANCER THAT'S KILLING DISCORDIA because I decided to stop posting on the Discordian Facebook thing.  Boo hoo hoo.  Wear a fucking hat.  Seriously, all you retards ever do is post the SAME TIRED JOKES and "zaniness".  It's like a whole board full of noobs.  The only two people that are even LEGIBLE are Cram and Gavriel, and one of THOSE can't be bothered with us and the other is just trying to SELL you shit, or have YOU give HIM stuff to sell for HIS profit.  Fuck off.  All of you.

10.  I see.  You want to fight me to defend Rachel Haywire's honor.  Well, there's two problems...A) I barely even REMEMBER who she is, and B) you transhumanists AREN'T SCARY, at least until you get the tech to grow some muscle and maybe an extra arm or some shit.  But guess what?  YOU WON'T GET THAT STUFF.  Rich people will.  You will NOT be included because you jabber about it on Facebook.  That does not do JACK for the revenue office down at the body modification clinic.  You are a FAN BOY, and they'd probably hate you MORE than even *I* do.  And that's saying something, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on October 11, 2012, 10:30:07 PM
I love it when this time comes around!

Every day of my life is like a parade going by.  And in this parade, the floats are all being ridden by lunatics, hippies, and retards. 

If You People really loved me, you'd kill yourself today.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Eater of Clowns

I'm with Twid, these are always so much fun.

Roger, attracting all the crazies so that we don't have to.
Quote from: Pippa Twiddleton on December 22, 2012, 01:06:36 AM
EoC, you are the bane of my existence.

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on March 07, 2014, 01:18:23 AM
EoC doesn't make creepy.

EoC makes creepy worse.

Quote
the afflicted persons get hold of and consume carrots even in socially quite unacceptable situations.

Juana

"I dispose of obsolete meat machines.  Not because I hate them (I do) and not because they deserve it (they do), but because they are in the way and those older ones don't meet emissions codes.  They emit too much.  You don't like them and I don't like them, so spare me the hysteria."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


LMNO


The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

I've been lazy, by the way.  3 more and I have a whole other set.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO


Mesozoic Mister Nigel

"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


LMNO