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I liked how they introduced her, like "her mother died in an insane asylum thinking she was Queen Victoria" and my thought was, I like where I think this is going. I was not disappointed.

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Considering Coming Clean To Daddy Dear

Started by Imp Ending the Pending, October 15, 2012, 02:29:31 AM

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Imp Ending the Pending

October 15, 2012, 02:29:31 AM
Lying awake in the middle of the day, in a gray sweater. And unsure whether or not this shirt that fits me is HOT, or if it's just a bomb as dead as a rock.
But at these rock bottom prices, the vice is too good to pass by. But if I decide to buy, what will I do if people start to intrude on my right to wear the stupid shit that I wear? And if they don't even care? Then where will I be, lying here at the feet of this slightly impatient clothing store employee?

‎"Mister," she'll say, "if you're not gonna pay, then won't you just go away? You've been here all day, and I have to stay to set up this display, and you're in the way... wait, why are you on the floor in the first place?"

It helps me think, I think. My shrink told me to try it, and though I don't really buy it--the psycho mumbo jumbo (and especially the diet)-- I'm not one to knock those smarter than me. Nor mock those different than me, which coincidentally, is why I'm here. You see lady, I'm queer, and I have this fear of falling out with my father if he ever discovered I don't like to bother with beaus of the other sex.

So rather than vex myself with complex creations of situations that'll never come to pass without him beating my ass, I thought I'd give your store a chance. You see, I want to replace all my "straight" clothes with things a bit more "haaa-aay!". Something to discretely repeat to him, "Daddy, I'm gay!" until it sticks in his brain. And looking around, I found this shirt right here. And so I settled down on the ground, as per my prescription of "sittin' and thinkin".

I guess I got caught up in what others would wonder if I wore this else where from when I'm with my father. So Miss, would you mind advising me? Please?

I'll admit that I'm new to this "S&M" business.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#1
October 15, 2012, 02:38:47 AM
Hmmm... well-written, and has a story you can follow. I think I like it, although I think I don't get the punchline.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Imp Ending the Pending

#2
October 15, 2012, 02:45:25 AM
Well woo! Admittedly, the punchline comes out of nowhere with absolutely no pretense, s

Wait a minute. Have you really made 441728 posts that's insan

Wait what I've made 31.

Wait.

Nevermind.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#3
October 15, 2012, 02:54:37 AM
This one seems to be catching on.  :lol:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
October 15, 2012, 03:00:34 AM
:lulz:

Also, excellent writing.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#5
October 15, 2012, 03:56:17 AM
Quote from: Imp Ending the Pending on October 15, 2012, 02:45:25 AM
Well woo! Admittedly, the punchline comes out of nowhere with absolutely no pretense, s

Wait a minute. Have you really made 441728 posts that's insan

Wait what I've made 31.

Wait.

Nevermind.

You are a quick one!  :lol:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Signora Pæsior

#6
October 15, 2012, 05:28:35 AM
This, I very much enjoyed.  :)
Petrochemical Pheremone Buzzard of the Poisoned Water Hole

Placid Dingo

#7
October 15, 2012, 08:54:50 AM
Ditto enjoyed it.

Ditto uncertain about punchline.
Haven't paid rent since 2014 with ONE WEIRD TRICK.

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
October 15, 2012, 06:02:11 PM
I got it.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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