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Getting my Thanksgiving dinner grace ready.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 16, 2012, 05:04:45 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

October 16, 2012, 05:04:45 PM Last Edit: October 17, 2012, 03:38:42 AM by Man Yellow
Thanks for the passenger pigeons, destined to be shit out through wholesome American guts.

Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.

Thanks for Native Americans, for providing a modicum of challenge and danger.

Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin leaving the carcasses to rot.

Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.

Thanks for the American dream, to vulgarize and to falsify until the bare lies shine through.

Thanks for the KKK.

For murdering lawmen, feelin' their notches.

For decent church-goin' men & women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces.

Thanks for "Kill a Queer for Christ" stickers.

Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.

Thanks for a country where nobody's allowed to mind their own business.

Thanks for a nation of finks and stoolies.

Yes, thanks for all the memories...All right let's see your arms!

Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human dreams.


(EDIT:  This was Big Bill Burroughs.  Fished it out of some ancient text files on my system, forgot where I got it.)
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

tyrannosaurus vex

#1
October 16, 2012, 05:10:45 PM
This makes me want to give a speech at Thanksgiving.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#2
October 16, 2012, 06:09:07 PM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 16, 2012, 05:04:45 PM
Thanks for the passenger pigeons, destined to be shit out through wholesome American guts.

Thanks for a continent to despoil and poison.

Thanks for Native Americans, for providing a modicum of challenge and danger.

Thanks for vast herds of bison to kill and skin leaving the carcasses to rot.

Thanks for bounties on wolves and coyotes.

Thanks for the American dream, to vulgarize and to falsify until the bare lies shine through.

Thanks for the KKK.

For murdering lawmen, feelin' their notches.

For decent church-goin' men & women, with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces.

Thanks for "Kill a Queer for Christ" stickers.

Thanks for Prohibition and the war against drugs.

Thanks for a country where nobody's allowed to mind their own business.

Thanks for a nation of finks and stoolies.

Yes, thanks for all the memories...All right let's see your arms!

Thanks for the last and greatest betrayal of the last and greatest of human dreams.

This needs to be posted in the comments every time somebody posts smarmy thanksgiving shit on facebook.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Nephew Twiddleton

#3
October 16, 2012, 07:20:20 PM
Usually on thanksgiving im thankful that  group of english people with funny hats and weird ideas that have absolutely no connection to ny of my ancestors ran out of beer then ran out of food- a plight i myself have been familiar with from time to time- thus creating a tradition where its perfectly acceptable and encourged to gorge yourself on someone elses food even if you havent seen them since that other holiday where the supposed birth of some crazy preacher has something to do with mndtory emptying your bank account as a sacrifice to the freemarket.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

dontblameyoko

#4
October 16, 2012, 10:14:35 PM
haha, i *thought* this would have something to do with William S Burroughs
BBBBP
PPBLL ~Ted Kennedy as a baby (http://beatonna.livejournal.com/116931.html)
"ty7h hg uh nmcx,m cv8t gygj jg" ~another baby

hunter s.durden

#5
October 17, 2012, 01:54:18 AM
Quote from: Man Yellow on October 16, 2012, 05:04:45 PM
Thanks for "Kill a Queer for Christ" stickers.

Really?
Why does surprise still exist in my emotional programming?

You really covered most of America's greatest hits here.
:horrormirth:
This space for rent.

LMNO

#6
October 17, 2012, 03:20:27 AM
Quote from: dontblameyoko on October 16, 2012, 10:14:35 PM
haha, i *thought* this would have something to do with William S Burroughs

Whether anyone is aware or not, WSB is the spiritual father of this rant.

Apologies, to all contributors.

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
October 17, 2012, 03:34:01 AM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 17, 2012, 03:20:27 AM
Quote from: dontblameyoko on October 16, 2012, 10:14:35 PM
haha, i *thought* this would have something to do with William S Burroughs

Whether anyone is aware or not, WSB is the spiritual father of this rant.

Apologies, to all contributors.

What?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
October 17, 2012, 03:37:41 AM
Oh, lol...I dragged this out of my hard drive from 2005, in text format.

Forgot where I got it.

Editing.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#9
October 17, 2012, 04:16:39 AM
There's a classic WSB rant on this. It probably got into the general unconscious. Plus, there's NO way an opportunity would be missed by others. WSB released the recording, so I have to give him initial credit, absent other evidence.

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
October 17, 2012, 03:04:44 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 17, 2012, 04:16:39 AM
There's a classic WSB rant on this. It probably got into the general unconscious. Plus, there's NO way an opportunity would be missed by others. WSB released the recording, so I have to give him initial credit, absent other evidence.

I searched it when DBY posted, and it is almost word for word the same thing.  I used to keep 2 folders, one of quotes and/or apocrypha, and one of 200-800 word mini rants that I never finished.  This was in the wrong folder.  I'm going to spend tonight searching anything I can't actually remember writing from 2002-2007, and moving them as appropriate.

So, my apologies to the board, and to the rotting carcass of WSB.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#11
October 17, 2012, 03:14:51 PM
No apologies needed.  Fuck that incoherent junkie.

Mangrove

#12
October 17, 2012, 06:28:42 PM
What makes it so? Making it so is what makes it so.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#13
October 17, 2012, 07:42:21 PM
It totally flew through my radar, I thought you wrote it.  :eek:

Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#14
October 17, 2012, 07:43:44 PM
Quote from: TEXAS FAIRIES FOR ALL YOU SPAGS on October 17, 2012, 07:42:21 PM
It totally flew through my radar, I thought you wrote it.  :eek:

So did I.   :lulz:  Like I said, I was dredging old text files up, and accidentally posted something I didn't write.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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