News:

MysticWicks endorsement: "At least Satanists HAVE a worldview. After reading this thread, I'm convinced that discordians not only don't, but will actively mock anyone who does."

Main Menu

HAVE YOU HEARD THE GOOD NEWS???

Started by Mesozoic Mister Nigel, December 04, 2012, 06:00:54 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Ever wondered why it is that sometimes something shitty happens to you, but you still maintain a positive attitude afterwards?

Ever wondered why sick people, crippled people, and even people of color can find a will to live and joy in their hearts?

Well, I'll tell you why... it's because of The Good Reverend Roger! You see, TGRR has taken the hate that ordinary people like you and I have deep, deep in our hearts, and he has taken that burden into his own heart so that we can be free! Isn't that wonderful?

Yes, TGRR has taken the hate of the world upon his shoulders... big, strong, hairy shoulders as shaggy and russet as Scottish cattle... in order to give us, his distant primate relatives, the freedom to function normally in our daily business without seizures, keening, foaming, incoherent ranting, or throwing heavy objects at our coworker's heads. He does all that for us! Isn't that wonderful?

If this news of all that TGRR has done for us has touched your heart in any way, please join hands with me as we bow our heads and, together, give thanks for his great gift to us.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


Cainad (dec.)

GLORY TO ROGER!

Praise be to The Good Reverend Roger, for he hath taken this great burden away from us weak sinners. The festering evils in our world are bearable because HE has taken it upon his Glorious, Horrible Self to HATE all of them for us!

And that is why no one must ever Kill Him.

LMNO

1 Roger, how many are my foes!
    How many rise up against me!
2 Many are saying of me,
    "TGRR will not deliver him."

3 But you, Roger, are a shield around me,
    my glory, the One who shits from on high.
4 I call out to TGRR,
    and he answers me from his holy porcelain throne.
5 I lie down and sleep;
    I wake again, because TGRR hates for me.
6 I will not be troubled though tens of thousands
    are fucking it up royally on every side.
7 Arise, Roger!
    Deliver me, my Good Reverend!
Strike all my enemies on the jaw with a plumber's wrench;
    break the teeth of the wicked.

8 From TGRR comes deliverance.
    May your people shit their hate.


The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

O my Roger, forgive us our greyfacedness, save us from the fires of Tucson, lead all spags to the Meetrack, especially those who have most need of your hate-siphoning.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: Nephew Twiddleton on December 04, 2012, 03:29:38 PM
O my Roger, forgive us our greyfacedness, save us from the fires of Tucson, lead all spags to the Meetrack, especially those who have most need of your hate-siphoning.

Prayers FROM the Reverend:

O, ye humans, give us this day our daily settling pond, and cast thyself into it...Yea, even with an engine block tied around thy neck.  And as thou walk through the valley of the shadow of DUMB, SHUT UP  and KILL YOURSELF and FUCK THE BODY.  For there are no fears in death, and thy sin-eater will have a little more peace.  For is this not the way of peace?  And the cities were therefore silent and the tenements did decay, and the stains slowly dried, in the garden of Roger.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

The Good Reverend Roger

Stand easy, my friends, and relax.  For the grave awaits ye all in time, so there's no hurry nor need to "beat the rush".  For The City™ has spoken to me, and it hath said "Give me your poor, your tired, your oppressed masses yearning to breathe vacuum...But they should not tell their story, for The City™ is not a bartender.  They should instead SHUT UP; yea, this is all The City™ wants.  For thou to SHUT UP.  It is a silent city, and we like it that way.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

SEE how he rains his Hate upon us??? Hosannah to the highest!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on December 04, 2012, 04:11:29 PM
SEE how he rains his Hate upon us??? Hosannah to the highest!

Hosannahs?  How much is that in American dollars?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 04, 2012, 04:12:15 PM
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on December 04, 2012, 04:11:29 PM
SEE how he rains his Hate upon us??? Hosannah to the highest!

Hosannahs?  How much is that in American dollars?

44.1 cubit, I think.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on December 04, 2012, 04:29:25 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 04, 2012, 04:12:15 PM
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on December 04, 2012, 04:11:29 PM
SEE how he rains his Hate upon us??? Hosannah to the highest!

Hosannahs?  How much is that in American dollars?

44.1 cubit, I think.

For THIS level of Holiness™?  You must be MAD.  I couldn't let it go for less than 6 furlongs. 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 04, 2012, 04:30:45 PM
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on December 04, 2012, 04:29:25 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 04, 2012, 04:12:15 PM
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on December 04, 2012, 04:11:29 PM
SEE how he rains his Hate upon us??? Hosannah to the highest!

Hosannahs?  How much is that in American dollars?

44.1 cubit, I think.

For THIS level of Holiness™?  You must be MAD.  I couldn't let it go for less than 6 furlongs.

58° Celsius, last offer.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."


The Good Reverend Roger

Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on December 04, 2012, 04:33:25 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 04, 2012, 04:30:45 PM
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on December 04, 2012, 04:29:25 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on December 04, 2012, 04:12:15 PM
Quote from: FROTISTED FUDGE CAK on December 04, 2012, 04:11:29 PM
SEE how he rains his Hate upon us??? Hosannah to the highest!

Hosannahs?  How much is that in American dollars?

44.1 cubit, I think.

For THIS level of Holiness™?  You must be MAD.  I couldn't let it go for less than 6 furlongs.

58° Celsius, last offer.

60 C, and I'll throw in a particularly holy Speedo, which came apart under unusual stresses for which it was never designed.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.