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How It Happened, Part 1

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, April 15, 2013, 04:18:50 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

April 15, 2013, 04:18:50 PM
The mighty chains that bound Tucson were corroded with the smirk of GWB, the clueless hystrionics of Jan Brewer, and the smiling disregard of Barack Obama.  It was bound to happen, sooner or later.

With a *SNAP* that sounded more like cannon going off, the chains parted.  Tucson slowly rose, higher and higher.  Emergency crews tried to re-weld the chains, but the wind kicked up, and we drifted away from our position.  We slowly ascended, until eventually there was no air to breathe.

Not too many people noticed any of this, though some meth lab workers in Picacho were crushed under falling debris, cars, etc.  As far as the air question, we were already used to that, so nobody was too surprised when everyone died, and only slightly more surprised when we all got back up and went to work.

The last information I received was that we had passed 6 miles in altitude, and were still climbing.  We thought about that for a while, and then started heaving all the heavy shit over the side.  We don't like You People much, and this has really been the answer to our prayers.  Sure, it involved being dead, but that's hardly a change of pace, here.

So now we have the best view of the world you could imagine, as we drift along in the jetstream.  We all eat lots of greens, and when we pass over your cities, we crowd the edge, not unlike penquins, and then we all shit over the side at once.  It's honestly been the happiest time of our lives...We've been working on a speaker system capable of reaching the ground, so we can play The Cars That Go Boom at you groundlings 24/7.

I'll add more later.  Right now, we're passing over Yorba Linda, and everyone's been holding it in for THIS one, so we're all walking around cross-legged.

Okay for Now,
The Good Doktor Roger
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#1
April 15, 2013, 04:26:16 PM
Where the hell do You People think you are?
\
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#2
April 15, 2013, 04:33:43 PM
Holy crap !  :aaa:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#3
April 15, 2013, 04:37:09 PM
Something's not right.        Keep running.  It's right behind us!       
\                                   /
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
April 15, 2013, 04:41:34 PM
I guess I didn't know.  I guess I didn't know.  I guess I didn't know.  I guess I didn't know. 
I guess I didn't know.  I guess I didn't know.  I guess I didn't know.  I guess I didn't know. 
I guess I didn't know.  I guess I didn't know.  I guess I didn't know.  I guess I didn't know. 
                                                                                                                      \
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#5
April 15, 2013, 04:44:33 PM
I actually like the concept and I'm hoping for a world tour. I'll even buy a shirt.  :lulz:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Faust

#6
April 15, 2013, 04:46:14 PM
What happened to the people who went to explore the hole that was left?
Sleepless nights at the chateau

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
April 15, 2013, 04:51:52 PM
Quote from: Faust on April 15, 2013, 04:46:14 PM
What happened to the people who went to explore the hole that was left?

They asphyxiated on 11,000 years of coyote poop that had been disturbed.  It was very sad.  The follow up team, in special environment suits, found fossils of people...most of whom seemed to have been caught by whatever it was, while they watched television.  Father Knows Best, is what the lab boys say. 

So they filled the pit in with gravel, and everyone pretended that Tucson never existed.  It was the only way to save face, after all.  We can't have the world knowing about this sort of shit.  It looks bad, and all the other world diplomats would laugh at John Kerry.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
April 15, 2013, 04:57:47 PM
We went back, and only kept the cool shit.
            \
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#9
April 15, 2013, 04:59:30 PM
We don't need You People, anymore.
          \
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#10
April 15, 2013, 05:09:12 PM
That's horrible.

But  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Faust

#11
April 15, 2013, 05:14:31 PM
And what of the wierdos, where could they go if there was no Tuscon?
Sleepless nights at the chateau

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
April 15, 2013, 05:21:06 PM
Quote from: Faust on April 15, 2013, 05:14:31 PM
And what of the wierdos, where could they go if there was no Tuscon?

That sounds like someone else's problem.

We're free.  Free of you crawling homonids and your monkey ways.  We're free of everything.

The sun is closer every day, but we know all about that.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#13
April 15, 2013, 05:46:46 PM
No Icarus wax wings to melt, Tucson FLOATS.

And says "When you're here with us, you'll float, too"?
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#14
April 15, 2013, 06:22:26 PM
Quote from: stelz on April 15, 2013, 05:46:46 PM
No Icarus wax wings to melt, Tucson FLOATS.

And says "When you're here with us, you'll float, too"?

No.  Hope floats.  In the toilet.

Tucson is just loose, is all.  It never wanted to be down there in the first place.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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