Goal: Nut punch Goliath to death.

[I_Kicked_Kennedy]

Since everything I've posted here starts with a meandering backstory, I'll instead post my intentions first, then fill you in.

Simply, I would like PD'ers to brainstorm ways that Wal-Mart can be taken down. Any idea, no matter how off the wall it is. I want to see this through, I want to end that company, and I want nothing more than every Walton to hang themselves when they discover they are only two bankruptcies away from standing in a soup line.

Backstory (the following has a degree of artistic license, as to make it easier to stomach):
I've been at a lull in my professional life. I haven't been able to get motivated, and I haven't completed anything remotely presentable to publishers in a long time. I've since returned to my other job full time. It was a moderate paying part-time that I held onto so I could provide health insurance for the wife and kids. I've just felt completely shitty, and I know it's because I can't just get myself to get my shit together.

After having a long conversation with a former colleague who invited me to his massive house, last night (his most recent textbook making obscene amounts of money), we got on the topic of Life and quantum physics. He's a science guru, and he's one of those who is too polite to tell me I'm drunk and talking out of my ass. Thanks to my state of mind, I kept shifting the conversation to how my current state applies to whatever specific theme we were touching on, because I'm a dick like that. He's a good enough guy that he humored me in this regard, even though it was probably the last thing he wanted to discuss. He pointed out that I've had some success in my past, but every time it's usually followed by a period of languidness until I reach the point where my situation is severe, then I usually turn it around to get another little taste of success. He said that Tolstoy did something similar (or maybe it was Dostoyevski... I can't remember, nor be bothered to Google it), in which he would publish a novel that would earn him considerable amounts of money, only to then gamble himself into debt, forcing him to write another great work. For that author, he said, it was the only way he could achieve the level of clarity and focus necessary to get to that creative state... to have his very livelihood hinging upon his next work. My friend's suggestion was that I was in the same boat, but for me, it was slightly different, because for me it was a matter of getting so bored with my life, I have to find something inspiring and challenging to get to the next "mountaintop."

His suggestion was to find something seemingly impossible to defeat. He then asked what angers me more than anything in the world, and I said "the mighty exploiting the weak and desperate." So, we thought of some situations that particularly disgusted me, and the first one I mentioned was child sex slaves. After some discussion, we decided that I would most likely get myself killed, so it'd be better if I pursued something in which the opposition would be less eager to shoot me in the head. I then mentioned something awful my wife's friend just went through... employment at Wal-Mart. My wife's friend is a very caring and wonderful person, but she isn't very smart, and she has had the most unlucky life of anyone I've ever met. Without getting into her life story (trust me, it would make you want to douse yourself in gas, then nuke the planet), she went to work for them because she was in a shitty situation where her husband had just died of leukemia, leaving her with three wonderful children (4, 7, and 9), a trailer they were still paying for, tens of thousands of dollars in medical debt from her now dead husband's treatment (we tried to get her to divorce him so the debt would die with him, but she said she couldn't do it because "[She] made a promise to God that, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer..."etc), and her previous employer fired her after 10+ years of dedicated service (she had to schedule the funeral for the evening because they wouldn't give her the day off, I shit you not) after she asked for a raise to help her in this situation.

So, the only job she was able to find was Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart wouldn't schedule around picking up or taking care of the kids, so my wife and her sister were taking care of them, and sometimes she wouldn't even get to see them for 5 minutes to kiss them goodnight. But then she started seeing them more because when she hit 6 months, they cut her down so she was working 27 hours a week (Wal-Mart considers 28 hours "full time" to receive health benefits, I guess). Only, when I say "working 27 hours", I mean "scheduled for 27 hours" because almost every day they told her to punch out before going back for another hour or two to "zone out", which doesn't mean what you and I think it means. To "zone" something means clean it up and fix the merchandise displays in that area. So, she worked 50-60 hour weeks at $8.25/hr (minimum where I'm at), but only getting paid for 40 of it, for six months. And desperately clinging to the hope that if she manages to make it to 6 months, she can finally get health insurance and stop living in fear that her kids may get sick or go to the hospital. However, then Wal-Mart not only didn't qualify her for health insurance, they were cutting her hours to the point where she has "borrowed" money from us, so she can eat (they've been without power for almost a month), and providing her with information on how to get Medicaire and WIC. As if it wasn't fucked up already, she came to my house crying uncontrollably. Wal-Mart fired her. They said it was because she was "failing to be a team player." While she sat in my kitchen, crying and shaking, saying over and over again "What am I going to do?!", I contacted a friend who has a son working there part-time this summer to see what the hell happened. He knew exactly why she got fired: she was in the break room and when one of the older women was asking about her husband's funeral, she mentioned that one of his old union pals (from the candy factory he worked at until it closed back in 2003 or 2004) placed their union patch in the casket with him during Last Respects. I guess a few minutes after that, one of the managers was asking everybody where she was, and soon after she was walked out. I asked her if she remembered that conversation, and she nodded. I didn't have the heart to tell her that's most likely the reason she got fired.

So, after everything she's endured, Wal-Mart fired her because her dead husband was in a Union a decade ago. Or, because she wasn't a team player, if you want to believe they're story.

After explaining to my friend that we're considering letting her move in with our family, since she doesn't have any money, they're losing the trailer, and we've been practically feeding them since (unemployment only pays 60% of what you were earning before, so thanks to those 27 hour weeks, she's getting a whopping $106 a week to support she and her three kids, and no Cobra because she didn't have insurance, so fuck her, right?), he told me that my next task is to take down Wal-Mart.* I said "Ah, so David versus Goliath." And his reply was "You don't even have a slingshot, and Wal-Mart is the largest employer and retail outfit in the world, so it's more like Lazarus versus Jericho."

Wal-Mart and their proprietors are the scum of the earth (the people working there have my sympathies), and if they were a country, they would be the 25th richest country in the world. An evil regime and a force that must be not only stopped, but dismantled, and shit upon. Please help me think of creative ways that I could do that.

*My friend gave me a very large sum of money to help her out. She wouldn't take it, at first, but I told her that if she didn't, my friend would be heartbroken.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Wal-Mart is going to collapse under its own weight, and I'll tell you why; it's because they have the same ethic toward their employees as K-Mart has: "Hire 'em, use 'em up, and fire 'em". Screw them all out of benefits, make them work for free, and keep them so in fear for their jobs that no one dares try to organize.

[I_Kicked_Kennedy]

I really want to hope you're right, but my fear is that part of the reason KMart collapsed is because another company, using the same formula but to an even more sadistic degree, knocked it off the top of the ladder.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I really want to hope you're right, but my fear is that part of the reason KMart collapsed is because another company, using the same formula but to an even more sadistic degree, knocked it off the top of the ladder.

Naw, K-Mart's legs were crumpling under them 17-18 years ago while they were still on top, it just took this long to manifest. I worked for a company that K-Mart purchased back then, and the signs were clear then.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Well, here's one tactic for nut-punching: stealthily unionize the workforce.

Walmart knows they couldn't survive if their employees were union, there's no question about it and that's why they're so aggressive when people mention unions even in passing. Part of the employee indoctrination is inoculating them against the idea, and most people working at Walmart are desperate enough for the job that they won't want to risk it even if they can overcome the conditioning against the idea. That said, a nationwide picket on Walmart that resulted in every store closing would be devastating. I cannot even begin to comprehend the kinds of numbers that go through that chain on a daily basis, but I can tell you that the majority of profits end up getting shipped down to corporate.

So, how do you infect them with the idea of unions? Well, how about getting a bunch of people fired for "not being team players"? Slip union literature into their shit and rat on them for it, get local union reps to meet them for dinner under false pretenses and take pics to the boss. Make sure the people you're getting fired are asshats who would sell you out. Get people hired who are very quietly pro-union and take over the joint. Do it quietly and over time. Don't get caught. When the time comes, you need control of the entire workforce. Have your plants make friends with the existing employees and see who will play ball, and utterly ruin the ones who won't. Plan the strike day anonymously online and make sure everyone tells the bosses there's no way they'd participate, and yes sir we'll tell you if we figure out who's doing this.

And the day of make sure the cameras are rolling, and anyone who goes to work you beat within an inch of their lives. Because if you think this is a thing Walmart did to America you are horribly mistaken. I'm not a big fan of "THE AMERICA WE DEMANDED" line, because I think some things are less public demand and more institutional momentum, but FUCKING WALMART IS OUR FAULT. WE LET THIS HAPPEN. You can be as mad as you want at the people at the top, but it's every single person who went in that store and everyone who took a job there and every spineless town council that approved their permits that MADE THIS HAPPEN.

[I_Kicked_Kennedy]

I'm in awe.

"In awe" in both ways. I'm amazed and startled (and turned on, sorta... Like the part of my brain that gets turned on when my wife threatens to beat me within an inch of my life for leaving the dome light on again, resulting in her being late for work)

[The Johnny]

so blackmail and thug people into making a union? sounds like a plan 

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

so blackmail and thug people into making a union? sounds like a plan 

He said nut punch. I figured being nice guys was right out the window already.

[Doktor Howl]

so blackmail and thug people into making a union? sounds like a plan 

Worked in the 20s.   

[The Johnny]

so blackmail and thug people into making a union? sounds like a plan 

Worked in the 20s.   

its ok do, end justify the means 

[I_Kicked_Kennedy]

To be fair, the violence and nastiness was started by the business magnates and the robber barons (see Pinkterons). You could say it became a matter of survival. Could have been worse. Ask Russia/USSR/Russia.

Ok... Bringing us back now.

Creative ideas, people. I don't care if they're shitty. Just help my brain get going.

[Unrelated side note: If you have to brush your teeth and drink Chardonnay in the same night, do it in the opposite order I did this evening. Blah...]

[The Johnny]

walmart is the consequence of larger things than itself, socio-economical and systemic things

fix poverty and people will not be willing to be exploited by walmart

good luck with that

also, deregulation of work contracts, good luck with that too

[Left]

Creative ideas, people. I don't care if they're shitty. Just help my brain get going.

Spread rumors that the Walton Family are a family of ritual cultists who sacrifice babies to Satan?
...The sort of people who believe that will believe it if it says so in the interwebs with lots of Biblical references.

(And you did say shitty was ok)

[Trivial]

Put created by slave labor tags on everything?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

You know what's crazy? What REALLY gets me?

A comment upthread made me think of this.

Wal-Mart wouldn't die if it were Unionized. Wal-Mart would fucking THRIVE, especially if it invited the unions in. What would suffer, only momentarily, would be its shareholder profits, which are, short term, EVERYTHING. But if Wal-Mart said, fuck it, we're going to pay better than anyone and make sure all our employees make a living wage and stay with us forever and get great benefits and we're going to try to carry as many American-made products as we can source, they are absolutely positioned to create massive consumer loyalty other than the creepy, coerced, compulsory type they've created by driving other companies out of business. They're positioned to create REMAKE AMERICA GREAT loyalty, which is a brand that, right now, some other company is poised to make.

Not kidding.