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Testamonial:  And i have actually gone to a bar and had a bouncer try to start a fight with me on the way in. I broke his teeth out of his fucking mouth and put his face through a passenger side window of a car.

Guess thats what the Internet was build for, pussy motherfuckers taking shit in safety...

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WOMPBOOKS

Started by Pæs, August 10, 2013, 03:20:33 AM

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Pæs

August 10, 2013, 03:20:33 AM Last Edit: August 10, 2013, 08:05:07 AM by Pæs
This thread was previously called "Reviews of Discordian Publications" but nobody read it so now it has a better name.

In this thread we share any reviews and testimonials for "Discordian works" that we "find online".

I'll start.



"I couldn't put this book down. Literally, it has welded itself to my hands and it takes all of my strength to keep it at arms length as it struggles towards my face. My wife has to bind my hands before I go to bed and I cannot share the room with her because the book's violent resistance keeps her up and once or twice we've had close calls where she woke up just as the pages were closing around her head.

I fear she will leave me." - New York Times

"Before I read A Plurality of Nigel, I was a respected Portland businessman. I knew after the first few pages that this book would change my life forever. I marched my three children, single file, into the sea and scolded them every time they came up for air. Previously, I lacked the courage to pursue my dreams but now I have made my dreams a reality. I spend my days wearing my wife's face and burgling convenience stores. AND YOU CAN TOO." - Harry Grant, former business-schmuck.

"This is the book we all deserve. Praise be to Nigel" - President Obama

Ben Shapiro

#2
August 10, 2013, 09:58:46 PM
Quote from: Pæs on August 10, 2013, 03:20:33 AM
This thread was previously called "Reviews of Discordian Publications" but nobody read it so now it has a better name.

In this thread we share any reviews and testimonials for "Discordian works" that we "find online".

I'll start.



"I couldn't put this book down. Literally, it has welded itself to my hands and it takes all of my strength to keep it at arms length as it struggles towards my face. My wife has to bind my hands before I go to bed and I cannot share the room with her because the book's violent resistance keeps her up and once or twice we've had close calls where she woke up just as the pages were closing around her head.

I fear she will leave me." - New York Times

"Before I read A Plurality of Nigel, I was a respected Portland businessman. I knew after the first few pages that this book would change my life forever. I marched my three children, single file, into the sea and scolded them every time they came up for air. Previously, I lacked the courage to pursue my dreams but now I have made my dreams a reality. I spend my days wearing my wife's face and burgling convenience stores. AND YOU CAN TOO." - Harry Grant, former business-schmuck.

"This is the book we all deserve. Praise be to Nigel" - President Obama

+1 Internets

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#3
August 11, 2013, 03:29:33 AM


I just laughed my ass completely off.  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#4
August 11, 2013, 03:34:41 AM
I hope it is OK that I totally just shared this with Facebook. Professionalism be damned, this was tooooo fucking amazing to pass up.
:lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Pæs

#5
August 11, 2013, 03:47:17 AM
Yeah, do what you like with it, it's your face  :lol:

tyrannosaurus vex

#6
August 11, 2013, 03:51:05 AM

"I never knew there were so many things I was doing wrong, and if it hadn't been for this book, I would have kept doing them. Thanks, RWHN!" -- Nobody, ever.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

Pæs

#7
August 11, 2013, 04:02:20 AM
 :lol:

</thread>

McGrupp

#8
August 11, 2013, 04:52:14 AM


"Breaking away from the previous title, this sequel paints a grim portrait of Tuscon in the future. Wait, it's set in the present? Oh my God...." -- New York Times

"Bees, man. Since reading it...head full of bees. Bees........"--Wall Street Journal

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#9
August 11, 2013, 06:01:29 AM
AIIIIIII



I am not sure my neighbors can legally react to my response to this thread.  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Doktor Howl

#10
August 12, 2013, 03:12:13 PM
Quote from: McGrupp on August 11, 2013, 04:52:14 AM


"Breaking away from the previous title, this sequel paints a grim portrait of Tuscon in the future. Wait, it's set in the present? Oh my God...." -- New York Times

"Bees, man. Since reading it...head full of bees. Bees........"--Wall Street Journal

:lulz:
Molon Lube

Aucoq

#11
August 12, 2013, 04:56:08 PM
Quote from: Pæs on August 10, 2013, 03:20:33 AM
This thread was previously called "Reviews of Discordian Publications" but nobody read it so now it has a better name.

In this thread we share any reviews and testimonials for "Discordian works" that we "find online".

I'll start.



"I couldn't put this book down. Literally, it has welded itself to my hands and it takes all of my strength to keep it at arms length as it struggles towards my face. My wife has to bind my hands before I go to bed and I cannot share the room with her because the book's violent resistance keeps her up and once or twice we've had close calls where she woke up just as the pages were closing around her head.

I fear she will leave me." - New York Times

"Before I read A Plurality of Nigel, I was a respected Portland businessman. I knew after the first few pages that this book would change my life forever. I marched my three children, single file, into the sea and scolded them every time they came up for air. Previously, I lacked the courage to pursue my dreams but now I have made my dreams a reality. I spend my days wearing my wife's face and burgling convenience stores. AND YOU CAN TOO." - Harry Grant, former business-schmuck.

"This is the book we all deserve. Praise be to Nigel" - President Obama

"This is the book we all deserve."  :lulz:

Quote from: McGrupp on August 11, 2013, 04:52:14 AM


"Breaking away from the previous title, this sequel paints a grim portrait of Tuscon in the future. Wait, it's set in the present? Oh my God...." -- New York Times

"Bees, man. Since reading it...head full of bees. Bees........"--Wall Street Journal

That New York Times quote kills me.   :lulz:
"All of the world's leading theologists agree only on the notion that God hates no-fault insurance."

Horrid and Sticky Llama Wrangler of Last Week's Forbidden Desire.

Cuddlefish

#12
August 13, 2013, 02:54:49 PM
These are great!  :lulz: :lulz:
A fisher of men, or a manner of fish?

The Good Reverend Roger

#13
August 13, 2013, 04:40:54 PM
I have this FANTASTIC idea, but no way to make or store WOMPs, on account of Windows 8.

:sad:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#14
September 24, 2013, 01:03:14 AM


HOT MESS:  The Life and Times of East Coast Hustle.

This book details the strange life, bizarre activities, and even weirder death of East Coast Hustle.  It follows him from his early upbringing as a Geisha in the West Indies, to his days as a pizza cook, to a chef, to head cook on the USS Enterprise, then full circle back to being one of the most respected Geishas in the Virgin Islands.

I give it 4/5, but definitely not safe for work.  Especially the bits involving the brawl with all 6 Buffalo Bills fans.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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