TGRR Quiz. How TGRR Are You?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

3.  Complete the following sentence:  Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.

Know about my tomahawk.

[East Coast Hustle]

1.  You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle.  The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out.  The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out.  The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit.  Which primate is the most intelligent?

It's a tie between me and the bonobo for reasons which have nothing whatsoever to do with fruit bottles.

2.  You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon.  He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage.  Quick, what do you do?

Wait 5 or 10 minutes then follow behind him with a shopping cart full of bandages, painkillers, and fix-a-flat. I know an opportunity when I see one.

3.  Complete the following sentence:  Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.

actually know my real name.

4.  Complete the following sentence:  When in Rome, __________________.

steal some old paintings.

5.  What is the fate of tyrants?

The same as everyone else's, ultimately.

6.  The expiration date on a grudge is when?

When I fucking say so.

7.  The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?

Shave and a haircut, but it ain't happening.

8.  The proper use for a Pagan is what?

Kindling.

9.  When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?

I have perfected a facial expression that ensures that this never actually happens.

10.  Complete the following sentence:  When God gives you lemons, _______________.

Find a new God.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Didn't look at any answers before I did mine:

1.  You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle.  The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out.  The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out.  The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit.  Which primate is the most intelligent?

The bonobo. I didn't even get any fruit out of this bullshit.

2.  You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon.  He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage.  Quick, what do you do?

Stay the fuck out of town.

3.  Complete the following sentence:  Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.

mess with me.

4.  Complete the following sentence:  When in Rome, __________________.

eat a shit-ton of pasta and desserts.

5.  What is the fate of tyrants?

Death.

6.  The expiration date on a grudge is when?

Never.

7.  The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?

Try not to be a goddamn moron.

8.  The proper use for a Pagan is what?

Paperweight.

9.  When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?

Laugh.

10.  Complete the following sentence:  When God gives you lemons, _______________.

YOU GET A NEW GOD.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

GRADE YOURSELF:

1.  You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle.  The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out.  The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out.  The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit.  Which primate is the most intelligent?

I'd hope you are.

2.  You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon.  He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage.  Quick, what do you do?

Join him.

3.  Complete the following sentence:  Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't _____________.

Wear underwear

4.  Complete the following sentence:  When in Rome, __________________.

SHUT UP!

5.  What is the fate of tyrants?

To rule over dumbasses

6.  The expiration date on a grudge is when?

The heat death of the universe.

7.  The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what?

Kill The Good Reverend Roger if you ever get the chance.

8.  The proper use for a Pagan is what?

Ballast

9.  When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...?

Join them to death.

10.  Complete the following sentence:  When God gives you lemons, _______________.

Get a new God.

SCORE:  For each correct answer, give yourself a point.  Close enough is good enough.  If you came reasonably close, give yourself a half point.

Less than 1:  You are a well-adjusted member of society.
1-2:  Seek help immediately.
3-6:  It's too late.  Just go ahead and start monstering teabaggers until the bourbon runs out.
7-9:  You must come to Tucson to complete your training.
10:    One of us must die so the other may live.

[Suu]

1.  You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle.  The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out.  The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out.  The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit.  Which primate is the most intelligent?: Me.

2.  You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon.  He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage.  Quick, what do you do? "Grampa, is that you?"

3.  Complete the following sentence:  Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't have jars of human teeth under the sink.

4.  Complete the following sentence:  When in Rome, look fucking fabulous. (Okay, that's more of a Suuism.)

5.  What is the fate of tyrants?: President

6.  The expiration date on a grudge is when? The other person dies.

7.  The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what? Point and laugh.

8.  The proper use for a Pagan is what? Toilet paper.

9.  When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...? Feign empathy until you can insert a ball breaker.

10.  Complete the following sentence:  When God gives you lemons, YOU FIND A NEW GOD.


I gave myself 5 out of 10.

I'm okay with this assessment.

[P3nT4gR4m]

4 out of 10. I SUCK AT TGRR'ING 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

1.  You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle.  The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out.  The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out.  The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit.  Which primate is the most intelligent?: Me.

2.  You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon.  He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage.  Quick, what do you do? "Grampa, is that you?"

3.  Complete the following sentence:  Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't have jars of human teeth under the sink.

4.  Complete the following sentence:  When in Rome, look fucking fabulous. (Okay, that's more of a Suuism.)

5.  What is the fate of tyrants?: President

6.  The expiration date on a grudge is when? The other person dies.

7.  The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what? Point and laugh.

8.  The proper use for a Pagan is what? Toilet paper.

9.  When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...? Feign empathy until you can insert a ball breaker.

10.  Complete the following sentence:  When God gives you lemons, YOU FIND A NEW GOD.


I gave myself 5 out of 10.

I'm okay with this assessment.

TEST INVALID.

[LMNO]

3??? 3???


I continue to be the nicest guy on PD.  Dammit.

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

I'm the worst TGRR ever.

[Suu]

1.  You are in a chamber observing a bonobo, a spider monkey, and a chimanzee attempt to get food out of a narrow-necked bottle.  The spider monkey reaches in and grabs the fruit, but cannot get his hand out.  The bonobo turns the bottle upside down, and the fruit falls out.  The chimpanzee smashes the bottle and gets the fruit.  Which primate is the most intelligent?: Me.

2.  You are out with a friend on the night of a full moon.  He suddenly sprouts facial hair, grows fangs and claws, and runs off into town on a rampage.  Quick, what do you do? "Grampa, is that you?"

3.  Complete the following sentence:  Psychotic ex-girlfriends don't have jars of human teeth under the sink.

4.  Complete the following sentence:  When in Rome, look fucking fabulous. (Okay, that's more of a Suuism.)

5.  What is the fate of tyrants?: President

6.  The expiration date on a grudge is when? The other person dies.

7.  The greatest thing you personally can do for yourself, your country, and the world is what? Point and laugh.

8.  The proper use for a Pagan is what? Toilet paper.

9.  When people insist on telling you all about their new-found cause/beliefs, you...? Feign empathy until you can insert a ball breaker.

10.  Complete the following sentence:  When God gives you lemons, YOU FIND A NEW GOD.


I gave myself 5 out of 10.

I'm okay with this assessment.

TEST INVALID.

Hey now, I didn't see the damn thread til this morning! I made sure I did NOT look at the answers until I was done taking it.

Fine, I want a makeup exam! 

[The Good Reverend Roger]

4 out of 10. I SUCK AT TGRR'ING 

SEE SCORING SYSTEM, GET BOURBON.

[P3nT4gR4m]

We have no teabaggers here

However, if I drink bourbon, members of the public are usually affected by the results, often irrevocably. Can we have a ruling on non-teabaggers?

[LMNO]

Can you go after the EDL?

[EK WAFFLR]

2-3? Fuck

[Nephew Twiddleton]

1