Should kids have smartphones?

[East Coast Hustle]

BTW, welcome back Holist. Good thread!

[LMNO]

I remember my mom and dad wouldn't lock me down, or even punish me that much, but rather, when I would do something monstrously stupid, would be "extremely DISSAPOINTED" in me.

It was so effective, it took until my 30th birthday to get a tattoo.

Well disappointment as a tool of control seems somehow deeply twisted to me as well... although it is not clear that this was happening in your case, LMNO. Why did you put "extremely DISAPPOINTED" in quotation marks?

Because it was, you know, a direct quote.

What the hell is a dahlia bite?

I'm not sure i want to google that at work.

Piercings at the corners of the mouth.

Oh.  OK.








That's kind of dumb.  An I'm only guessing, but it must make oral sex awkward.  No matter what kind of genetalia you've got your mouth on.

[Dildo Argentino]

Because it was, you know, a direct quote.

Alrighty, sorry. For some reason it didn't even occur to me.

The general point stands though (certainly did with my mum) - using disappointment (genuine as well as pretend) as means of control can do terrible damage to an emerging person. I think. Actually, I am pretty certain.

[LMNO]

Really?  I kind of like the way I turned out.

[Dildo Argentino]

Holist returns, posts an interesting and engaging thread in which he himself posts clear well-thought opinions that make sense AND calls RWHN out for being a control freak?

Somebody pinch me, I think I'm still asleep.

Well hello. I think I just got off on the wrong foot before. Need to build up a reputation before I attempt a critique of the scientific worldview... if at all.

[Dildo Argentino]

Really?  I kind of like the way I turned out.

The point I'm trying to make is that I misread you the first time. I'd wager your parents weren't using disappointment as a tool to control you: when you did something very stupid, they were, quite naturally, disappointed, and they told you about it. Not the same thing. I also like the way I turned out, but I'm afraid it was mostly despite my dear old mum's efforts.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Really?  I kind of like the way I turned out.

Yes, damaged like United Airlines Flight 232.

[LMNO]

hey now, I happen to like my DC 10....





...Inch.

[Dildo Argentino]

...AND calls RWHN out for being a control freak?

I must admit I've been lurking sporadically and it was already completely obvious. And a not very clever one at that.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

What the hell is a dahlia bite?

I'm not sure i want to google that at work.

Piercings at the corners of the mouth.

No worse than snakebites or any of the others, really, though it's probably not the smartest thing to get. It's just the name that's creepy and evocative of the Black Dahlia morgue photos.

In a way, it's cool that kids found SOMETHING relatively harmless to freak older people out. I thought prior generations had used everything up. 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Holist returns, posts an interesting and engaging thread in which he himself posts clear well-thought opinions that make sense AND calls RWHN out for being a control freak?

Somebody pinch me, I think I'm still asleep.

SHHHHHHH! Don't jinx it. 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

To put things in perspective, at age 17 (when its legal to learn to drive in the UK), I was backpacking in Peru.  Admittedly, I'm likely an outlier.  But some kids invariably will be.

The concept of raising kids to be able to function independently seems sadly to be on the decline. I see parents who either detach and leave their kids adrift to figure everything out on their own, or try to take an authoritative tack and attempt to control their child, which leads either to subservient and endlessly dependent young adults, or to power struggles, backlash, and estrangement. The parents who take the middle road and provide guidance, advice, respect, security, attachment, and  trust, the parents who are authoritative without being authoritarian, are the ones who end up with the seemingly-remarkable in our times independent young adults who are actually functional and can make adult decisions and do adult things on their own.

Authoritarian parenting sucks anyway because the parent isn't modeling anything like respect or boundaries. I know some kids who will mindlessly destroy anything, of anyone's, for seemingly no reason, the minute nobody's looking. But I think the reason is their mom: "If your room isn't picked up in five minutes, all these toys are going IN THE TRASH". And she does it, and pats herself on the back for taking a hard line "parenting".

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

To put things in perspective, at age 17 (when its legal to learn to drive in the UK), I was backpacking in Peru.  Admittedly, I'm likely an outlier.  But some kids invariably will be.

The concept of raising kids to be able to function independently seems sadly to be on the decline. I see parents who either detach and leave their kids adrift to figure everything out on their own, or try to take an authoritative tack and attempt to control their child, which leads either to subservient and endlessly dependent young adults, or to power struggles, backlash, and estrangement. The parents who take the middle road and provide guidance, advice, respect, security, attachment, and  trust, the parents who are authoritative without being authoritarian, are the ones who end up with the seemingly-remarkable in our times independent young adults who are actually functional and can make adult decisions and do adult things on their own.

I agree wholeheartedly.

THE WORLD'S GONE MAD! 

Welcome back, Holist, good thread.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Bad idea.  It is another avenue for unsupervised and unmonitored access to the internet.  Especially given all of the Agrippa's that use the internet.

ROCKS AND BROKEN GLASS.  THAT'S ALL THEY NEED.

No, but they also don't need to be easier targets for the pedophiles that trawl the internet.  Giving a kid a smartphone does that, among other issues.  I'm not talking about your 17 and 18 year olds, certainly whn a kid gets to an age where they are driving and getting a job, I think there is certainly merit.  But your younger teens and tweens, it seems a little sketchy to me.  Get them just a plain ole cellphone without access to the net so they can still make a call in emergencies, but they don't, IMO, need smartphones.

Wouldnt telling kids to not talk to pedos be more effective?

Worked for me. Telling them about kiddie-touchers and making it clear that we have their back no matter what, and also encouraging them to form little online hoodlum gangs (always internet with a buddy, kids!) worked great. Appropriate parental involvement and facilitation of a large peer social group also makes it hard for pedos to groom kids, because the kids are getting plenty of attention and validation from healthy sources already.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Bad idea.  It is another avenue for unsupervised and unmonitored access to the internet.  Especially given all of the Agrippa's that use the internet.

ROCKS AND BROKEN GLASS.  THAT'S ALL THEY NEED.

No, but they also don't need to be easier targets for the pedophiles that trawl the internet.  Giving a kid a smartphone does that, among other issues.  I'm not talking about your 17 and 18 year olds, certainly whn a kid gets to an age where they are driving and getting a job, I think there is certainly merit.  But your younger teens and tweens, it seems a little sketchy to me.  Get them just a plain ole cellphone without access to the net so they can still make a call in emergencies, but they don't, IMO, need smartphones.

Wouldnt telling kids to not talk to pedos be more effective?

You know what's effective?  When a new kid joins the group, he or she is met by 10-20 of the kids, all of whom have phones.

And this!