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TESTEMONAIL:  Right and Discordianism allows room for personal interpretation. You have your theories and I have mine. Unlike Christianity, Discordia allows room for ideas and opinions, and mine is well-informed and based on ancient philosophy and theology, so, my neo-Discordian friends, open your minds to my interpretation and I will open my mind to yours. That's fair enough, right? Just claiming to be discordian should mean that your mind is open and willing to learn and share ideas. You guys are fucking bashing me and your laughing at my theologies and my friends know what's up and are laughing at you and honestly this is my last shot at putting a label on my belief structure and your making me lose all hope of ever finding a ideological group I can relate to because you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about and everything I have said is based on the founding principals of real Discordianism. Expand your mind.

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Okay, you miserable sinners...

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 05, 2013, 12:20:38 AM

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The Good Reverend Roger

October 05, 2013, 12:20:38 AM
Sit on Dirty Old Uncle Roger's lap and tell me what you're sorry for.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Salty

#1
October 05, 2013, 12:27:22 AM
There's a golf course near my house, owned by the US Air Force. Right next to the poorest neighborhood in town.

I'm sorry I haven't got the guts to take a dump on it.
The world is a car and you're the crash test dummy.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#2
October 05, 2013, 01:17:33 AM
I'm going to an art opening tonight.

I don't know what I'm going to do afterwards yet, but I'm sorry in advance.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Nephew Twiddleton

#3
October 05, 2013, 01:24:58 AM
Accidental cayenne pepper up the nose. Immediate penance built in.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Ben Shapiro

#4
October 05, 2013, 02:35:37 AM
I farted in my cats face while I was asleep my wife saw everything.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#5
October 05, 2013, 03:15:46 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on October 05, 2013, 01:24:58 AM
Accidental cayenne pepper up the nose. Immediate penance built in.

Up there?  :eek:
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Nephew Twiddleton

#6
October 05, 2013, 03:19:01 AM
Quote from: Mean Mister Nigel on October 05, 2013, 03:15:46 AM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on October 05, 2013, 01:24:58 AM
Accidental cayenne pepper up the nose. Immediate penance built in.

Up there?  :eek:

My rice was bland, so I added cayenne.

It was still bland, so I added more.

Then I coughed a little too hard for unrelated reasons.

Then it was in my nose and I was sneezing and burning all at the same time.

It was an interesting and unpleasant experience.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

msok

#7
October 05, 2013, 03:40:04 AM
bought hookah coals and beer. went inside and realized I had forgotten the hookah coals, went back out to the car. twenty minutes later I go to the fridge and realize I had forgot the beer. fuck it all.

LMNO

#8
October 06, 2013, 05:27:32 AM
I'm sorry I on purpose that last bottle of wine.

Pere Ubu

#9
October 06, 2013, 06:15:40 AM
Only if you can explain where your lap goes when you stand up.
If you meet Eris on the road, YOU WERE PROBABLY HOLDING THE MAP UPSIDE DOWN, DUMBASS.

Grand Episkopos and Lord High Executioner of The Temple Of The Screaming Finger

LMNO

#10
October 06, 2013, 06:20:05 AM
Minus two points stealing jokes.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#11
October 06, 2013, 07:20:05 AM
I'm sorry Seguin is still there. I had almost 11 years to find a way to improve it by turning it into a giant feral catbox, but I failed.  :cry:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Pere Ubu

#12
October 06, 2013, 02:43:05 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 06, 2013, 06:20:05 AM
Minus two points stealing jokes.

If that was to me, well -

it's not stealing, it's "repurposing".

Remember, humor, like any other energy, can't be created or destroyed, only transformed.
If you meet Eris on the road, YOU WERE PROBABLY HOLDING THE MAP UPSIDE DOWN, DUMBASS.

Grand Episkopos and Lord High Executioner of The Temple Of The Screaming Finger

Nephew Twiddleton

#13
October 06, 2013, 02:59:12 PM
Quote from: Pere Ubu on October 06, 2013, 02:43:05 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 06, 2013, 06:20:05 AM
Minus two points stealing jokes.

If that was to me, well -

it's not stealing, it's "repurposing".

Remember, humor, like any other energy, can't be created or destroyed, only transformed.

It was directed to you.

Stop trying to transform then.

Also, humor isn't energy.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

Trivial

#14
October 06, 2013, 06:07:43 PM
I'm sorry I haven't burned my corner of the yard.
Sexy Octopus of the Next Noosphere Horde

There are more nipples in the world than people.
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