My Story About George Clooney *

[Q. G. Pennyworth]

Okay, so this isn't really my story, it's my mom's story.* She grew up with George Clooney in Southie and one summer afternoon they were out at a little league game and this one fucking kid, I don't know his name, but he says "number two dookie got out, number three dookie needs a napkin!" And nobody there fucking knows what a number three dookie is, but everyone can smell the turd this kid just laid on the ground, and they all shriek and run away. Problem is, game's not over yet. So there in the sand in the dugout there's this stinking loaf, shining in the sun, and George turns around, gets a napkin or something, and just picks it up like it's no big deal and gets it out of there so the rest of the kids can get back to the game. He's the child savior of the summer.




* No, actually this is a story that I was relating to someone in a dream I had this afternoon, but how could I not share?

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

The Clooney sword cuts both ways.

I saw him on a late night show, I forget which one, but he said that before he got famous he had a roommate with a cat he doted on.

Cat got constipated, and roomie was worried half to death and took it to the vet for some medicine.

Later, while roomie was at work, Clooney took a massive dump in the cat box. Roomie gets home and goes "OOOOOH, KITTYYYYYYY!" 

[rong]

Oh, sure, I've watched "Return of the Killer Tomatoes" dozens of times.  But I'll never forget the first time I watched it after George Clooney became famous.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

The Clooney sword cuts both ways.

I saw him on a late night show, I forget which one, but he said that before he got famous he had a roommate with a cat he doted on.

Cat got constipated, and roomie was worried half to death and took it to the vet for some medicine.

Later, while roomie was at work, Clooney took a massive dump in the cat box. Roomie gets home and goes "OOOOOH, KITTYYYYYYY!" 

THAT is a man after my own heart.