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Because Fuck You and The Horse You Rode In On, That's Why.

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, October 28, 2013, 07:37:34 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

October 28, 2013, 07:37:34 PM Last Edit: October 28, 2013, 07:41:22 PM by Dirty Old Uncle Roger
Why You're Fucked.

Weirdness is, in the human being, almost like a muscle.  The more you use it, the stronger it gets...But the flip-side of that is that when you stop using it, it atrophies.  It shrivels up until one day you're wearing dockers and khakis and working on the TPS report.  And looking forward to the Knicks at the sports bar after work.

Horrible, eh?  But that's how it goes.  One day, you're up to your ass in freaks at the Gay Bar, and the next, you're eyeing that Lexus commercial with silent contemplation...You aren't going to BUY one, of course not, but you're just CURIOUS as to whether you can make the payments.  I mean, it's not like you'd be one of THEM, even if you DID, because it isn't the car that makes you weird, it's you, right?  Rightrightright?

HAW HAW!  You're FUCKED.

This is how The Machine™ gets its hooks into you.  Baby steps.  After all, it's had 8000 years to figure out how to get the square pegs into the round holes, hasn't it? 

I'll be weird TOMORROW.

You say you're tired.  Burned out.  The coming weird times are HERE, and now you're exhausted.  But are you?  What have you done to get so tired?  Are you sure it isn't lethargy?  Some of you DO have a lot on the ball, granted...But shouldn't all these activities give you MORE of an excuse to be you?  As if you ever needed one.

The Machine™ has many ways of neutralizing freaks.  If your last name is Snowden, there are ACTIVE ways of getting you to Shut Up.  If not, though, it has more passive methods, one of which is to make sure you understand about Tomorrow™.  Tomorrow™ is the product that lets you stay weird TODAY without actually DOING anything, because you'll do it Tomorrow™.  Then one day you run out of Tomorrow™, and you headstone reads "Good Citizen".  Well done, that man.

Shut up.  You can't tell me what to do.

No, and I wouldn't if I could.  The people I'M talking to already know what they're supposed to do.  They're just too BUSY to DO it.  BUSY BUSY BUSY.  Too busy for public ad "improvement".  Too busy for making everyone move to the other side of the bus.  Too busy for "Bob".  Or Eris. 

And doesn't that sound like the sort of persuasion The Machine™ would use?  "Go ahead and rattle those prison bars, to see which ones are loose.  Tomorrow™.  Today, you need to apply yourself to your monkey-training tools.  Like Farmville (or whatever time-sensitive "game" is hot right now).  Remember Tamagotchi, the 'virtual pets'?  Neither do I."

But I don't feel like Saturday Night.

That's okay, Saturday Night doesn't feel like you.  IT is still out there, just, you know, WITHOUT YOU.  The fun never stopped, YOU did.  The party still goes on, it's been going on since Babylon, and it will being going on long after you're dust.  Because, LIKE THE MACHINE™, Saturday Night has had 8000 years to figure out how to deal with wallflowers.  And it does so by grinding over their bodies with horrible squelchy crushy noises, and rumbling off into the sunset.

So you can take your lurking and your teevee and your shitty beer and your wasted days and wasted nights and your lethargy and your Cause and your whatever else the fuck you have traded for your very LIFE, and you can jam them up your arses for all I care.  Me, I'm off to piss on the powerlines.

Because Eris made me that way.

OR KILL ME.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

tyrannosaurus vex

#1
October 28, 2013, 07:48:08 PM
This doesn't make me feel very comfortable at all, Roger.
Evil and Unfeeling Arse-Flenser From The City of the Damned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
October 28, 2013, 07:51:06 PM
Quote from: V3X on October 28, 2013, 07:48:08 PM
This doesn't make me feel very comfortable at all, Roger.

It is not the business of a Holy Man™ to tell you pleasing lies.

Hell, half of Discordia can only babble nonsense, and the other half has become so desensitized that it can only get excited by getting pissed off.  At itself.

:lulz:

The Day of Judgement™ is coming.  The Righteous shall be thrown into the vodka pit to squirm around with the other freaks.  The heathen shall sit on a comfy chair and watch the game.  Forever.

And what will YOU be doing, Brothers and Sisters? 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#3
October 28, 2013, 07:56:29 PM
POint taken
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
Sentence or sentence fragment pending

Soy El Vaquero Peludo de Oro

TIM AM I, PRIMARY OF THE EXTRA-ATMOSPHERIC SIMIANS

LMNO

#4
October 28, 2013, 08:15:25 PM
Preach it, daddy-o!

The Good Reverend Roger

#5
October 28, 2013, 08:16:43 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on October 28, 2013, 08:15:25 PM
Preach it, daddy-o!

IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS

I would spend half of it on drugs and fast living.

AND THEN

I would just waste the other half.

" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#6
October 28, 2013, 08:18:38 PM
Stop being all right all over the place  :argh!:

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
October 28, 2013, 08:19:34 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on October 28, 2013, 08:18:38 PM
Stop being all right all over the place  :argh!:


Speaking as a Vessel of Holiness™, I arguably had no say in the matter.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#8
October 29, 2013, 12:33:41 AM
Quote from: V3X on October 28, 2013, 07:48:08 PM
This doesn't make me feel very comfortable at all, Roger.

THE FIRST SATISFIED CUSTOMER OF THE DAY!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Pope Pixie Pickle

#9
October 29, 2013, 12:48:50 AM
On Satudrday this week I went out and promptly went home again because my mental elf doesn't like being lumped into a crowded pub. On Sunday I went to an antifa benefit gig where there were 3 fash at the pub giving it the mouth. So there I am, pissed out of my brain, with several empty bottles in my handbag (, buying hip hop cd's in french from a communist rapper. The fuckwits left eventually (no need for bottles, apparently) and just after the gig had finished the stragglers from the gig were drunkenly singing Irish Folk songs and a weird and bloody good time was had by all.

I chewed one of the fash out for being disrespectful and upsetting the organiser, who was hella drunk and giving them earful inbetween crying. She'd managed to get 20-30 activists into a pub with 2 weeks notice with 5 different acts on.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#10
October 29, 2013, 03:35:52 AM
Vodka PIT! Vodka PIT! Vodka PIT!  :fap:
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#11
October 29, 2013, 03:36:48 AM
Quote from: Mrs. Nigelson on October 29, 2013, 12:33:41 AM
Quote from: V3X on October 28, 2013, 07:48:08 PM
This doesn't make me feel very comfortable at all, Roger.

THE FIRST SATISFIED CUSTOMER OF THE DAY!

This is how we roll, here in The World's Last Church.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
October 29, 2013, 03:37:17 AM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on October 29, 2013, 03:35:52 AM
Vodka PIT! Vodka PIT! Vodka PIT!  :fap:

Other religions offer you wings and a harp.  And a boring ass cloud.

We have a vodka pit.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#13
October 29, 2013, 03:56:04 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on October 29, 2013, 03:37:17 AM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on October 29, 2013, 03:35:52 AM
Vodka PIT! Vodka PIT! Vodka PIT!  :fap:
Other religions offer you wings and a harp.  And a boring ass cloud.

We have a vodka pit.

Jehovah's Witnesses have you come back to earth and walk around picking big baskets of fruit.
I picked fruit once. It SUCKED.

VODKA PITTTTTTT!!!!!

Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Ben Shapiro

#14
October 29, 2013, 04:41:43 AM
But time shares are a great investment.
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