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Don't get me wrong, I greatly appreciate the fact that you're at least putting effort into sincerely arguing your points. It's an argument I've enjoyed having. It's just that your points are wrong and your reasons for thinking they're right are stupid.

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PI with Malice Aforethought: Professor Cramulus

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, November 13, 2013, 05:42:26 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

November 13, 2013, 05:42:26 PM Last Edit: November 13, 2013, 06:10:49 PM by Dirty Old Uncle Roger
Imagine a dark street, lined with old two and three storey houses.  There are street lights, but - like the houses - they have been dark for a very long time.  Imagine that on further inspection, many of the houses have broken windows.  Not the shattered windows that would imply vandals, but instead the cracked or partially missing windows that suggest weather, time, and neglect.

Movement.

Down the street, he comes, wearing nothing but roller skates and gold sequined underwear...And a ridiculous giant fake mustache.  He is smiling broadly, his long hair swept back as he comes down a gradual slope. 

You have to imagine this, because if you actually did see it, you wouldn't be around to tell us about it.  Nobody actually has...This description is based on conjecture only informed by the two or three security cameras that were connected to long-life batteries, which have long since stopped functioning.

This is really all we know about the fate of the town of Tarryton, New York.  It seems kind of silly, when you think about it.  We also don't know if the man on roller skates was the cause of the event, or is just the sole surviving - and insane - resident of the town.  We suspect the former.  It's the smile, more than anything.  The smile is a cross between "I told you so" and "gotcha".

It is commonly known that the town is abandoned, and that something happened there.  Something awful.  What is not commonly known is that the 2/14 infantry regiment had been sent in to investigate and/or secure the town.  Not a single man made it back out, and all radio broadcasts from the doomed regiment were nonsensical, with experienced company commanders weeping and singing nursery rhymes over the radio.  The loss of the unit was explained away as an aircraft failure en route to an unannounced deployment to Afghanistan.

All of this is troubling, perhaps even horrifying.  But what makes it worse is that the neighboring town of Irvington "went quiet" last night.

May God help us all.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Nephew Twiddleton

#1
November 13, 2013, 05:57:02 PM
DAmn. First one of these I'm reading. Pretty awesome.
Strange and Terrible Organ Laminator of Yesterday's Heavy Scene
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The Good Reverend Roger

#2
November 13, 2013, 05:57:52 PM
Quote from: Doktor Blight on November 13, 2013, 05:57:02 PM
DAmn. First one of these I'm reading. Pretty awesome.

The Paesors one was my favorite.  I don't think I'll ever top it.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Q. G. Pennyworth

#3
November 13, 2013, 06:10:26 PM
"went quite" instead of "went quiet"

This one may be my favorite of the bunch.

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
November 13, 2013, 06:11:53 PM
Quote from: Q. G. Pennyworth on November 13, 2013, 06:10:26 PM
"went quite" instead of "went quiet"

This one may be my favorite of the bunch.

Whoopsie.  Blam it on the pills.

Anyway, thanks.  I still prefer the Paesor one.  In both, I tried to write the way I dream, and met with partial success.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Cramulus

#5
November 13, 2013, 07:17:18 PM
:mittens:  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

Of course, on the other side of those sunglasses, I was not seeing Tarrytown, or Irvington... no, I was playing the Barbie Dream Vacation ARG.

:magick:

*rollerskates away*

Anna Mae Bollocks

#6
November 13, 2013, 07:28:39 PM
I have a theory that the Mothman phenomena can actually be attributed to Cramulus, and not only that, he's ageless. It was Cramulus at Roanoke, Cramulus at the Bermuda Triangle. Send a crack team of archaeologists out there, and they'll find the corroded remains of gold sequins. It's a sure bet.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
November 13, 2013, 07:35:29 PM
Quote from: Cramulus on November 13, 2013, 07:17:18 PM
:mittens:  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

Of course, on the other side of those sunglasses, I was not seeing Tarrytown, or Irvington... no, I was playing the Barbie Dream Vacation ARG.

:magick:

*rollerskates away*

And that is how the world ends, ladies and gentlemen.

DOUR,
Would have preferred a nuclear war.  Who wouldn't?
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Payne

#8
November 13, 2013, 07:40:34 PM
Cramulus' Bat Signal is a gigantic tight close up of his semi erect penis in slightly-too-close-fitting hot pants. This is a TRUFACT.

We built the machine in the WOMP ButtCave, but never got a chance to try it out before The Incident.

Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.

#9
November 14, 2013, 01:07:12 AM
I've got a curious mix of Avril Lavigne, Freezepop, and Drowning Pool in my head for this one.
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"The only way we can ever change anything is to look in the mirror and find no enemy." - Akala  'Find No Enemy'.
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