Ayn Rand's "A Christmas Carol"

[hooplala]

Marley was dead:  it was an objective fact.  Any other discussion on the subject would be superfluous.  Marley was dead as a door-nail.

Scrooge knew he was dead, how could he not?  Scrooge and he were partners, inasmuch as either could ever be said to be partners in anything.  Neither accepted compromise, nor should they, it is a man's objective right to rationally self interested  accumulated gain, further, it is not only man's right, but his highest moral virtue.  In keeping with this objective philosophy Scrooge was open for business on the day of Marley's death, seven years ago.  Marley would not only have understood, but would have considered anything else evil and immoral.  The business being open, however, astonished those who were aware of the situation.  They clucked with distaste through their misshapen lips, permanently formed into puckers and sneers of distaste.

Which prompts me to repeat: Marley was dead.  Belief in anything otherwise would be utter faith-based mysticism.

Scrooge never painted out Marley's name, not out of nostalgia or sympathy, but out of a righteous sense of frugal proprietary indignation.   Sometimes people new to the business called Scrooge Scrooge, and sometimes they called him Marley.  He didn't care, so long as they had business to transact.

Oh!  But he was a man of the highest moral virtue, old Scrooge!  Never accepting the will of anyone else or asking for anyone else's sanction; he rejected the looters and scoundrels who attempted to pick his pocket.  He was as solitary as an oyster, and would have it no other way.  He lived as an individual, by nobody else's code, for the sake of his own happiness, asking nothing of anybody and accepting none of the demands of others.  The cold within him froze his noble features, pushing up his strong sharp cheekbones, sucking in his cheeks with pride, stiffening his gate with dignity, his eyes as blue as chipped ice, his face freckled lightly, his brick red hair blown back from his face as if he had never given it a second thought.  His voice was deep and rich and melodious.  He carried this icy coolness with him everywhere he went, he iced his office in the dog days, and didn't thaw it one degree at Christmas, which was a faith-based mystical day which was sanctioned by the thiefs and looters who felt they had the moral right to steal from a man annually, whether he agreed with them or not.





(feel free to continue)

[hooplala]

This was just for chuckles, BTW... I love the Christmas Carol, pretty much in any form... even that Disney one with the Scottish duck.



Hey Mods, perhaps I should have placed it into the Lit forum though??

[AFK]

The Muppet one sucked though.  Mostly because of Rizzo. 

[hooplala]

The Muppet one sucked though.  Mostly because of Rizzo. 

Rizzo ruins everything.

Actually I think their main misstep there was making the central character NOT a Muppet.  What were they thinking?

[East Coast Hustle]

Moving it back to AT, since I think it's worthy of, you know, actually being seen.

[Suu]

The Muppet one sucked though.  Mostly because of Rizzo. 

Rizzo ruins everything.

Actually I think their main misstep there was making the central character NOT a Muppet.  What were they thinking?

I liked Michael Caine as Scrooge.

[Cramulus]

Moving it back to AT, since I think it's worthy of, you know, actually being seen.

I moved it based on author request, but your call

[hooplala]

I was going to continue writing this, a little at a time until Xmas, but it now occurs to me it would be essentially the same joke over and over again.

Rest assured, Tiny Tim croaked because he was a moocher and looter.

[Suu]

GS had to write a paper on Ayn Rand. I guess he had to read Atlas Shrugged and did some sort of analysis to defend or argue her stance.

...He ripped her to shreds.

[LMNO]

I'd like to see more of the OP, but just the key scenes are good enough for me... you don't have to do the entire thing.

I actually haven't read enough Rand to emulate the style, else I would add on.

[Requia ☣]

I always got the impression that most of the people who disagreed honestly believed those things but were being led around by the small number of people (only two characters of the type come to mind) who agreed but wanted to destroy humanity.  I guess there were a few as well who were just interested in their own profit, and were happy to destroy humanity in that pursuit.  (Which really makes me question if she really believed in libertarianism at all herself).

[hooplala]

I always got the impression that most of the people who disagreed honestly believed those things but were being led around by the small number of people (only two characters of the type come to mind) who agreed but wanted to destroy humanity.  I guess there were a few as well who were just interested in their own profit, and were happy to destroy humanity in that pursuit.  (Which really makes me question if she really believed in libertarianism at all herself).

According to her, she hated libertarians.

And you're right, in the Fountainhead it was mostly Toohey (is that how its spelled?) who wanted to bring humanity to its knees, but in that scene I mention its all of them... and they are blatantly obvious about it, to the point of saying things like "Wait until we thrust this on the public!" "Won't people hate it?" "That's the point, my dear, that's the entire point.  Literature you can enjoy is bad for one's soul." 

[LMNO]

I always got the impression that most of the people who disagreed honestly believed those things but were being led around by the small number of people (only two characters of the type come to mind) who agreed but wanted to destroy humanity.  I guess there were a few as well who were just interested in their own profit, and were happy to destroy humanity in that pursuit.  (Which really makes me question if she really believed in libertarianism at all herself).

According to her, she hated libertarians.

And you're right, in the Fountainhead it was mostly Toohey (is that how its spelled?) who wanted to bring humanity to its knees, but in that scene I mention its all of them... and they are blatantly obvious about it, to the point of saying things like "Wait until we thrust this on the public!" "Won't people hate it?" "That's the point, my dear, that's the entire point.  Literature you can enjoy is bad for one's soul." 

From what little I've read, Rand's books must be very, VERY good for one's soul.

[Phox]

I always got the impression that most of the people who disagreed honestly believed those things but were being led around by the small number of people (only two characters of the type come to mind) who agreed but wanted to destroy humanity.  I guess there were a few as well who were just interested in their own profit, and were happy to destroy humanity in that pursuit.  (Which really makes me question if she really believed in libertarianism at all herself).

According to her, she hated libertarians.

And you're right, in the Fountainhead it was mostly Toohey (is that how its spelled?) who wanted to bring humanity to its knees, but in that scene I mention its all of them... and they are blatantly obvious about it, to the point of saying things like "Wait until we thrust this on the public!" "Won't people hate it?" "That's the point, my dear, that's the entire point.  Literature you can enjoy is bad for one's soul." 

From what little I've read, Rand's books must be very, VERY good for one's soul.

[hooplala]

"Why do you doubt the evidence of your own senses, Scrooge?" asked the shade of Marley, wrapped tightly in heavy chains.  The parasitic chains of guilt.

"The cowards have cut man into two, telling him that there is dichotomy between body and consciousness, each at eternal war with the other.  This is a great evil.  The soul is a mystical invention created to lord guilt over the individual.  Since the soul is a fiction, you therefor cannot exist.  In which case, reason tells me that perhaps I am sleeping, or that my senses have been dulled by something I have consumed.  Perhaps a blob of mustard or an undercooked potato.

The shade of Marley seemed to smile wryly.  "You might even say, there is more of gravy than grave in me, eh?"

"I would not." answered Scrooge.  "Humor is used as the camouflage of moral cowardice."

"Scrooge," said the shade of Marley softly, astonished by Scrooge's powerful words. "I am here to offer you a second chance."

"By what right do you offer this so-called second chance at the life of a moocher and freeloader?  Who sanctioned it?" asked Scrooge, his sharp aquiline nose glimmering in the light of the nearby fire.  The fire he had built himself, unaided.

"Do you see my ponderous chain?  I forged it link by link, and yard by yard.  When I arrived, these seven years ago, your chain was as large and heavy as mine."

Scrooge nodded briskly.  "If the chain is mine, if I earned it through my own tireless hard work, why should I give it up?  It would be a very evil act to hand my chain over to the parasites."