Guess what I got for Xmas?!??!?!??!!

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I give up.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

IT'S THE GODDAMN 27TH. TELL US ALREADY.

[Ben Shapiro]

I don't know if this is a gag gift, or I suck at making pasta.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

DUDE, THERE'S A FUCKING CHROME PASTA STRAINER IN THERE! ALL I EVER SEE ANYMORE IS FUCKING PLASTIC.
YELLOW.
FUCKING.
PLASTIC.

[Ben Shapiro]

DUDE, THERE'S A FUCKING CHROME PASTA STRAINER IN THERE! ALL I EVER SEE ANYMORE IS FUCKING PLASTIC.
YELLOW.
FUCKING.
PLASTIC.

I'll mail you the strainer. Along with my butthurt.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Thanks for the strainer, for the butthurt.

What's that red thing in the front? I can't relate it to pasta.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Somebody'll end up using it for an ashtray.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I don't know if this is a gag gift, or I suck at making pasta.

My guess: people are fucking idiots.

They know that you like making pasta. They think, "I know! I'll get him a pasta gift basket!"

It's sort of like people knowing that I make beads, so they buy me beads or bead stringing kits. True story. People are morons.

[Sita]

I love getting kits like that.
And I'm also one of those morons, I guess, that would get them for someone if I knew they liked the thing the kit was for.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I don't know if this is a gag gift, or I suck at making pasta.

My guess: people are fucking idiots.

They know that you like making pasta. They think, "I know! I'll get him a pasta gift basket!"

It's sort of like people knowing that I make beads, so they buy me beads or bead stringing kits. True story. People are morons.

When I was a broke-ass apprentice mechanic, people never knew what to buy for me.

"He probably already has tools".

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

My default gift is hair ties. Any time someone doesn't know what to get me, I end up with a baggie of poofy scrunchies.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I love getting kits like that.
And I'm also one of those morons, I guess, that would get them for someone if I knew they liked the thing the kit was for.

Well, here's a sort of rule of thumb:

If someone enjoys knitting, it makes more sense to buy them yarn than to buy them a scarf.

If someone enjoys baking bread, it makes more sense to buy them flour than to buy them bread.

If someone enjoys making beads, it makes more sense to buy them glass than to buy them beads.

If someone enjoys making pasta, it makes more sense to buy them pastamaking supplies than to buy them pasta.

If someone really enjoys fishing, it makes more sense to buy them tackle than to buy them a fish.

And so on and so forth.

In other words, if someone's hobby is to make something from scratch, buying them the premade version of that thing is clueless at best, insulting at worst.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I love getting kits like that.
And I'm also one of those morons, I guess, that would get them for someone if I knew they liked the thing the kit was for.

Well, here's a sort of rule of thumb:

If someone enjoys knitting, it makes more sense to buy them yarn than to buy them a scarf.

If someone enjoys baking bread, it makes more sense to buy them flour than to buy them bread.

If someone enjoys making beads, it makes more sense to buy them glass than to buy them beads.

If someone enjoys making pasta, it makes more sense to buy them pastamaking supplies than to buy them pasta.

If someone really enjoys fishing, it makes more sense to buy them tackle than to buy them a fish.

And so on and so forth.

In other words, if someone's hobby is to make something from scratch, buying them the premade version of that thing is clueless at best, insulting at worst.

Preach, Sister Skinsaw! Thou dost indeed speaketh the truth.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

For some ungodly reason, I went through about ten years of people buying me dolphin figurines.
It started with a little blown glass one. It wasn't something I would have bought myself, but it caught the light nicely so I put it on the shelf. Then I guess people started thinking "Oh, she likes DOLPHINS!" and buying me all kinds of goofy ass dolphins.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

For some ungodly reason, I went through about ten years of people buying me dolphin figurines.
It started with a little blown glass one. It wasn't something I would have bought myself, but it caught the light nicely so I put it on the shelf. Then I guess people started thinking "Oh, she likes DOLPHINS!" and buying me all kinds of goofy ass dolphins.

Oh boy. I have a case of light tuna in water for you.