Guess what I got for Xmas?!??!?!??!!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

For some ungodly reason, I went through about ten years of people buying me dolphin figurines.
It started with a little blown glass one. It wasn't something I would have bought myself, but it caught the light nicely so I put it on the shelf. Then I guess people started thinking "Oh, she likes DOLPHINS!" and buying me all kinds of goofy ass dolphins.

Oh my god. People were doing that with turtles with me for a while. I have pet turtles, they were like "I BUY YOU ALL TURTLE THINGS" but not like, heat lamps or vitamins or food, ie stuff I can use. Nope. Figurines, T-shirts, crap like that.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

For Nigel's Birthday we should pitch in for a van full of sand. I'm shocked that binks my little baby girl got me this. I guess her gift to me was laughter. Because I laughed pretty hard when I opened it. I was expecting a ham.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

For some ungodly reason, I went through about ten years of people buying me dolphin figurines.
It started with a little blown glass one. It wasn't something I would have bought myself, but it caught the light nicely so I put it on the shelf. Then I guess people started thinking "Oh, she likes DOLPHINS!" and buying me all kinds of goofy ass dolphins.

Oh my god. People were doing that with turtles with me for a while. I have pet turtles, they were like "I BUY YOU ALL TURTLE THINGS" but not like, heat lamps or vitamins or food, ie stuff I can use. Nope. Figurines, T-shirts, crap like that.

I could have used a lot of practical things then, too. And if anybody insisted on getting me something useless but pretty that I had to dust, there was a Vietnamese grocery down the street with a window full of those gold leaf porcelain figures that I was always stopping to look at. The sun used to hit that window in the morning and those things would just blaze, you HAD to go look. But no, DOLPHINS DOLPHINS DOLPHINS.

I don't like having a lot of one thing. It reminds me of those crazy women with multiple cats, and cat dish towels, pillows, calendars, blankets, potholders, towels, soap dishes, EVERYTHING, all covered in cat hair.

The crowning glory of all this was a big resin family of blue dolphins with glitter in them, leaping through resin surf (also with glitter). They fit in a glass container that you filled with water, and there were five little round floater candles that came with it, that you couldn't find refills for even if you wanted them.

One of the kids ended up breaking it. Oops. Oh, well.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

For some ungodly reason, I went through about ten years of people buying me dolphin figurines.
It started with a little blown glass one. It wasn't something I would have bought myself, but it caught the light nicely so I put it on the shelf. Then I guess people started thinking "Oh, she likes DOLPHINS!" and buying me all kinds of goofy ass dolphins.

Oh my god. People were doing that with turtles with me for a while. I have pet turtles, they were like "I BUY YOU ALL TURTLE THINGS" but not like, heat lamps or vitamins or food, ie stuff I can use. Nope. Figurines, T-shirts, crap like that.

I could have used a lot of practical things then, too. And if anybody insisted on getting me something useless but pretty that I had to dust, there was a Vietnamese grocery down the street with a window full of those gold leaf porcelain figures that I was always stopping to look at. The sun used to hit that window in the morning and those things would just blaze, you HAD to go look. But no, DOLPHINS DOLPHINS DOLPHINS.

I don't like having a lot of one thing. It reminds me of those crazy women with multiple cats, and cat dish towels, pillows, calendars, blankets, potholders, towels, soap dishes, EVERYTHING, all covered in cat hair.

The crowning glory of all this was a big resin family of blue dolphins with glitter in them, leaping through resin surf (also with glitter). They fit in a glass container that you filled with water, and there were five little round floater candles that came with it, that you couldn't find refills for even if you wanted them.

One of the kids ended up breaking it. Oops. Oh, well.

I remember being like, you know what I could really use? Food. I could use food, and maybe a Home Depot gift card. Please?

What I got: Turtle statuettes. 

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Yes, food. Or a damn box of Tide. Things you run out of all the time, and never on payday.
Hell, I'd have been tickled to get toilet paper.

[Odibex Grallspice]

Yes, food. Or a damn box of Tide. Things you run out of all the time, and never on payday.
Hell, I'd have been tickled to get toilet paper.

This is my mom. Toothpaste, toilet paper and cleaning products etc... I never appreciated it, though.

[Sita]

Oh, the not getting practical gifts is something I know too well.
Think that might be why we keep getting towels from my parents (we now have 10 bath towels and 10 or 15 hand/kitchen towels, way more than we ever need). Perhaps it's their way of getting us to give a semi frivolous list next year. Frivolous list would be easier to give if they didn't have such a hard objection to spending money online.

Their thinking is that Christmas is for giving and getting things that are wanted, not things that are needed. Doesn't matter if the needed thing is also the wanted thing.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Gotta love it when people are so attached to the idea of giving gifts that are not "needs" that they give you shit which will only irritate you, and which you will throw away. Because getting you something you NEEDED was totally uncool, even though it's the thing which would have made you happy and excited. It would violate their invisible, impossible spirit of Christmas. So instead they get you something that leaves you depressed and despairing, because THAT's the True Spirit of Christmas.

[Odibex Grallspice]

I got my ma a couple hats. That's all I had to buy for. She was pleased as punch.

[LMNO]

Gotta love it when people are so attached to the idea of giving gifts that are not "needs" that they give you shit which will only irritate you, and which you will throw away. Because getting you something you NEEDED was totally uncool, even though it's the thing which would have made you happy and excited. It would violate their invisible, impossible spirit of Christmas. So instead they get you something that leaves you depressed and despairing, because THAT's the True Spirit of Christmas.

That's my in-laws, to be sure.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Gotta love it when people are so attached to the idea of giving gifts that are not "needs" that they give you shit which will only irritate you, and which you will throw away. Because getting you something you NEEDED was totally uncool, even though it's the thing which would have made you happy and excited. It would violate their invisible, impossible spirit of Christmas. So instead they get you something that leaves you depressed and despairing, because THAT's the True Spirit of Christmas.

That's my in-laws, to be sure.

This is what makes me hate Christmas.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

Too much stuff you don't want, and you're expected to reciprocate.
Dolphins. Dollar store cologne. Crap.

[Freeky]

My folks do that.  One year, they got PISSED THE FUCK OFF when I used gift money - cash, mind you - when I bought necessities with it.  And then, on the other hand, buying lots of cheap crap that doesn't work instead of paying the extra moolah for one thing that does. 

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Too much stuff you don't want, and you're expected to reciprocate.
Dolphins. Dollar store cologne. Crap.

I won't fucking play.

I'll make someone a dinner that cost me $50 and would have cost them $200 in a restaurant, but I'll be fucked if I'm going to buy anyone some crap that will end up in a dumpster.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

That's the correct reaction. If they can't deal with it, fuck 'em.