Ever Been Shanked With A Squirrel?

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/12/27/22075945-sc-woman-charged-with-stabbing-husband-with-a-ceramic-squirrel?lite

According to the police report, Williams' 41-year-old husband set out to buy some beer late Tuesday night, but he returned home empty-handed because the stores were closed.

That enraged Williams, according to the report, and as her husband set about making himself a sandwich, she picked up the ceramic squirrel and conked him over the head with it. Then she stabbed him in the chest with it, the report said.

Good gentlefolk, you may have a problem with the booze if you shank your SO with a ceramic figurine because no beer. That is all.

[Ben Shapiro]

<3

[Odibex Grallspice]

That's terrible. Just terrible.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I find stories like this and I gotta read 'em to see if they take place in PA and/or if it's one of my cousins.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I find stories like this and I gotta read 'em to see if they take place in PA and/or if it's one of my cousins.

I was betting Benson, Arizona.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I find stories like this and I gotta read 'em to see if they take place in PA and/or if it's one of my cousins.

I was betting Benson, Arizona.

I had money on Clarion, Pennsylvania.

[LMNO]

I was thinking Florida.  Because, you know, Florida.

[Cardinal Pizza Deliverance.]

I was thinking Florida.  Because, you know, Florida.

Another safe bet. *nods*