An Erisian Apple/Chili Paste

[Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye Aye Pu ERT Oh Ricoh]

Well, since it's proven itself as a dip and/or cooking ingredient in the Greek Discordian Circles (not much in common w/ the Greek Discordian Squares), here's how we do our not-so-secret Erisian Apple/Chili Paste.

Ingredients:

• 2 large red (sweet) apples
• 3-6 chili peppers (we use the hardcore-est we can find, which are called 'africans' here, but any Jesus-fucking-Christ-this-thing-is-hot peppers should do -- 'africans' are known for their sweet, apple-like aftertaste, which is one more reason to use them in particular)
• 1 whole garlic
• 2 large red (spicy) onions
• 2 tablespoons of salt
• 2 tablespoons of sugar
• 300 ml vinegar
• 150-200 ml olive oil
• Pepper and dried curry (to taste)

Let's doo dis:

• Boil some water in a pan. Pan should be large-ish to large, water should form air bubbles in it which fizzle and go to the top & frankly look quite beautiful.
• Stop looking at the bubbles, we've got work to do
• Slice apples, peppers, onions, garlic, salt -- no, wait, not the salt. Again: slice apples, peppers, onions & garlic into large-ish shapes of your choosing. The point is that the slices have to be big enough not to turn into some sort of soup/paste in the pan.
• Throw slices in boiling water. Dance. Or don't.
• Once slices turn slimy, remove slices from water or water from slices. Throw away the water. Let slices dry -- not for long, though, paste should still be hot when you're done with all the instructions.
• Mince slices into paste, using the tool of your choosing. You can do this with a fork & pressure or something similar, but a blender is preferable
• Add salt, sugar, vinegar, olive oil, pepper and curry to the paste and keep mincing until it's all an orange-y, watery paste. Color can change, depending on lots of factors -- what's important is that the taste tastes tasty. You can check if that's correct using a small amount of the paste & your tongue.
• Once ready, place the paste in a jar and cover the top with some olive oil. The ingredients the paste contains will keep it rather well -- it won't turn bad if kept in a fridge for weeks, and the olive oil on top is really useful in keeping the paste bacteria-free, if you don't intend to eat it right away.

You now have enough paste to taste. Have fun!

-S
for Greek Discordians/PatEristes, PipEristes Faction, Group of Select Tsoukidoukistes

[Reginald Ret]

Hah! I like the way you write recipes!

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

That sounds intriguingly delicious.

[Anna Mae Bollocks]

I would totally do this. 

[East Coast Hustle]

Yeah, I don't see thing I haven't already tried very often. This intrigues me. Thanks for posting it!