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Correcting an Oversight via ECH

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, February 03, 2014, 04:02:43 PM

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The Good Reverend Roger

February 03, 2014, 04:02:43 PM
It occurs to me that I have mechanics for mechanical problems, Electricians for electrical and instrumentation problems, and even a programmer for software problems.  What I don't have is a technician for operator problems. 

So I am going to hire ECH.

When an operator does something really dumb, ECH will rip that operator's lungs out with his bare hands, shove the bastard into the ball mill, and drop a case of dynamite in with him.  Pour encourager les autres.  For this he will be well-compensated, though I have my suspicions that he'd almost do this sort of thing for free, for the sheer joy of it.

I will then have ECH attend meetings, with club hammer in his belt.  When someone speaks outside of their expertise, or does any other stupid fucking thing to demonstrate how "smart" they are, ECH will pound them into hamburger.  Not a word will be said; we will cut to the end and just start with the horrible beating.  I am guessing that the usual 2 hour meeting will end in about 5 minutes, tops.

All of this came to me in the late hours of Saturday night, when I was performing my traditional ritual...Staying awake an extra hour just to hate You People more.  It came to me in a flash, an epiphany normally only found in the very religious, or the teenager who just discovered pot or DMT or Discordianism for the first time, and wants to tell everyone about it forever. 

It was actually a much more developed idea, so I wrote it down so I wouldn't forget it...But the next morning, the paper only said "Hire ECH.  Buy more ammunition.  The Seahawks are doomed."  Once again, the pills have robbed me of both a great idea and my better judgement.  Fortunately, nobody bets on football around here, or I'd have made an ass out of myself worse than I did in 2003.

The Superbowl itself was brutal.  I won't go into it here, save to say that this sort of shit never would have been tolerated even as recently as 1995.  I suppose I'd better hire ECH quickly, before the NFL has the same idea...The thought of Peyton Manning at the mercy of ECH is simply too awful to contemplate, at least when he could be doing the same shit to Mike the engineer.

Fortunately for Arizona, our football teams sucks so bad that we never have to embarrass ourselves on the national stage...We have politics for that.  Denver, on the other hand, can spend the next few years wallowing in shame.  And they'll need to find their own heavy, because I saw ECH first.

Or Kill Me.






 
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#1
February 03, 2014, 04:07:16 PM
Any way you could see yourself clear to loan him out on occasion?  There are some upper level execs here that could use a bit of ECH's particular management style.

The Good Reverend Roger

#2
February 03, 2014, 04:08:09 PM
Quote from: LMNO, PhD (life continues) on February 03, 2014, 04:07:16 PM
Any way you could see yourself clear to loan him out on occasion?  There are some upper level execs here that could use a bit of ECH's particular management style.

I don't care what he does on his off time, so long as he's in the conference room every morning at 7:30 AM.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

East Coast Hustle

#3
February 03, 2014, 04:57:59 PM
A contract that allows me to moonlight? I'm in!
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
February 03, 2014, 05:00:38 PM
Quote from: Jet City Hustle on February 03, 2014, 04:57:59 PM
A contract that allows me to moonlight? I'm in!

We are concerned that you won't be able to vent you venom fast enough.  There's only 56 employees at this facility.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#5
February 03, 2014, 05:19:54 PM
His expertise is badly needed in the Texas legislature.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
February 03, 2014, 05:21:04 PM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on February 03, 2014, 05:19:54 PM
His expertise is badly needed in the Texas legislature.

Get your own.  I hear Bearman has time.  He can do his dance for them.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

East Coast Hustle

#7
February 03, 2014, 05:21:46 PM
Way I see it, I can correct an employee every 30 minutes. That's 48 employees per day corrected, which leaves 8 employees to live an uncorrected day, the very possibility of which will soon become their primary motivation for continuing to live.

Do not worry about the fact that the plant itself is not open 24 hours per day. I figure the minor corrections get done during operating hours while more strenuous corrective measures can be taken at the homes of the employees for whom such measures are necessary. The horrors of THAT possibility should ensure that all of your employees spend as much time as possible at work AND they won't be the least bit concerned about being paid for the overtime.
Rabid Colostomy Hole Jammer of the Coming Apocalypse™

The Devil is in the details; God is in the nuance.


Some yahoo yelled at me, saying 'GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH', and I thought, "I'm feeling generous today.  Why not BOTH?"

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
February 03, 2014, 05:22:32 PM
Quote from: Jet City Hustle on February 03, 2014, 05:21:46 PM

Do not worry about the fact that the plant itself is not open 24 hours per day.

It is.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#9
February 03, 2014, 05:22:54 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 03, 2014, 05:21:04 PM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on February 03, 2014, 05:19:54 PM
His expertise is badly needed in the Texas legislature.

Get your own.  I hear Bearman has time.  He can do his dance for them.

BEARMAN! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE! BRING BINKS.
Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
February 03, 2014, 05:25:58 PM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on February 03, 2014, 05:22:54 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 03, 2014, 05:21:04 PM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on February 03, 2014, 05:19:54 PM
His expertise is badly needed in the Texas legislature.

Get your own.  I hear Bearman has time.  He can do his dance for them.

BEARMAN! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE! BRING BINKS.

Let's not get all crazy now.   :eek:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

#11
February 03, 2014, 06:09:44 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 03, 2014, 05:22:32 PM
Quote from: Jet City Hustle on February 03, 2014, 05:21:46 PM

Do not worry about the fact that the plant itself is not open 24 hours per day.

It is.

DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Suu

#12
February 03, 2014, 09:57:10 PM
CAN I HAVE A JOB, DIRTY OLD UNCLE ROGER?!
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Ben Shapiro

#13
February 04, 2014, 12:09:01 AM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 03, 2014, 05:21:04 PM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on February 03, 2014, 05:19:54 PM
His expertise is badly needed in the Texas legislature.

Get your own.  I hear Bearman has time.  He can do his dance for them.

I even have my own theme song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kf8BT3wbZSo

Ben Shapiro

#14
February 04, 2014, 12:09:52 AM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on February 03, 2014, 05:22:54 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 03, 2014, 05:21:04 PM
Quote from: Tiddleywomp Cockletit on February 03, 2014, 05:19:54 PM
His expertise is badly needed in the Texas legislature.

Get your own.  I hear Bearman has time.  He can do his dance for them.

BEARMAN! GET YOUR ASS IN HERE! BRING BINKS.

I will after she finishes her 3 day ritual of sodomizing my brother.
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