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Junkenstein, a Study in Verse

Started by The Good Reverend Roger, February 19, 2014, 06:29:05 PM

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Junkenstein

#15
February 19, 2014, 10:55:29 PM
I nearly went for Peter Gabriel, but it would involve thinking about the music of Peter Gabriel.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

Anna Mae Bollocks

#16
February 19, 2014, 10:59:04 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 19, 2014, 06:29:05 PM
To the tune of American Pie By Don McLean

A long, long time ago
I can still remember how Peedee used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance that I could spout some wicked rants
And maybe spags'd be happy for a while

But February made me shiver with every screed I'd deliver
Junkenstein playing dubstep, I couldn't take one more step
I can't remember if I cried when I read about his brony pride
But something touched me deep inside the day that peedee died

So bye, bye all you internet guys
Moved my browser to the frontpage and told Faust to just die
And Nigel was there, she was drinking wine & Rye
Singing this'll be the day Peedee dies, this'll be the day peedee dies

Did you write the book of Mu and do you have faith in vindaloo?
If Suu & Richter tell you so?
Now do you believe in rock and roll? Can Saturday Night save your mortal soul?
And can you teach me how to rant like a real troll?

Well, I know that Junk is a police plant
'Cause I saw him linking to my rant
The bastard works for special branch
Man, I want to kick him in the pants

I was a lonely middle-aged trolling fuck
With a bigmouth a keyboard and a ton of SHUT UP
But I knew I was out of luck
The day that peedee died
I started singing die, die, I hate you guys
Get off of my internets I'm fit to be tied
And Nigel was drinking paint thinner and rye
Singing this'll be the day Peedee dies, this'll be the day that PD dies

Now, for ten years we've been on this board
Before it was ruined by the British horde
When ECH fooled Lauren and Hugh
On an IP he borrowed from Pud's crew
And a voice that came from me and you

Oh, and while Lauren was looking down
ECH stole her admin crown
The old crew was tossed out
And Hugh went to OM to pout

But while we all read rants all day
The Brits snuck in through the back way
And we posted tubgirl the GIGGLES way
The day that peedee died

I was singing eat shit and die, you European guys
Ranted my guts up at peedee but peedee had died
And Nigel was drinking sterno and rye
Singing this'll be the day peedee dies, this'll be the day peedee dies

Helter skelter in apple talk
The members fucked off to facebook
150 Million morons and growing fast
smoking the pot drug grass
and posting selfie ass
With LMNO's TPS reports due Tuesday last...

Now the Tucson air was sweet perfume
While Twid played a death metal tune
Waffle got up to dance
Oh, but he never got the chance

'Cause Junkenstien tried to take the field
Twid's metal band refused to yield
Do you recall what was the deal
The day that peedee died?

I started singing get cancer and die you limey fucks
Moved over to EB&G but EB&G was fucked
And Nigel was drinking ethelyne and rye
And singing this'll be the day peedee dies, this'll be the day that peedee dies

Oh, and there we were all in one place, a generation lost in F4
With nobody left to rant some more
So come on Cain be nimble, Cain be quick
Cain got a job as a writer 'cause doom is the editor's only friend

Oh, and as I watched Junkenstein on the page
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No angel born in hell
Could break that Satan's spell

And as the post count dropped out of sight
The Brits just snickered at my plight
I saw Junkenstein laughing with delight
The day that peedee died

I was singing die in a fire, you British spags
There's no traffic at all and the board STILL lags
And Nigel was drinking antifreeze and rye
And singing this'll be the day peedee dies, this'll be the day that peedee dies

I met a Portland girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just puked and turned away
I went down to the sacred board
Where I'd written some rants years before
But the boghopper there said the rants were archived

And in the streets the children screamed
The teabaggers cried and the liberals dreamed
But not a word was spoken
Their spirits all were broken

And the three men I admire most
ECH, Cain, and LMNO
They caught the last train for the coast
The day that peedee died

And I was screaming fuck you Junk just fucking die
Take your Scotsmen with you, nobody likes those guys
And Nigel was drinking benzine and rye
Singing this was the day peedee died, this'll be the day that peedee died

I was screaming, fuck off and die
You toofless unwashed crumpet eating guys
And Nigel was drinking gasoline and rye
Singing this'll be the day that peedee dies

:potd:

Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

Anna Mae Bollocks

#17
February 19, 2014, 11:02:27 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 19, 2014, 10:16:02 PM
To the tune of, well, it's been hard times in extended tucson. Better after sleep.


So this is a story all about why
Roger will fuck your life upside down
Take a fucking minute
Cower right there
And I'll tell you why Roger shits Tucson everywhere

In western Cornwall born and raised
Beaten in coal mines for most of his days
Ranting, shrieking, being SO COOL
First one jumping naked in the pool
Then along came a Nigel talking plain sense
Made him re-evaluate his happenstance
One little argument and his reptile brain got scared
She spake "Off to tucson, over there".

Shackled to the next boat, cursing with fear
The bosun's pale flesh and dice in his ear
If anything, he knew this journey would not end well
But he spake: "Get me to Tucson and end this hell"

Dumped in the desert
And left there to perish
He looked upon his kingdom, cursing fate
And promising to fuck you all over yet, mate.

Also this.  :lulz: :lulz: :lulz:

But I dunno...I think Peter Gabriel NEEDS this treatment.

Scantily-Clad Inspector of Gigantic and Unnecessary Cashews, Texas Division

The Good Reverend Roger

#18
February 19, 2014, 11:22:41 PM
GAMES WITHOUT FRONTIERS COMING RIGHT UP.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#19
February 19, 2014, 11:25:24 PM
:mittens: :mittens: :mittens:

This is the way to go down, in a blaze of glorious spaggotry! RAH!!!!
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#20
February 19, 2014, 11:26:35 PM
Quote from: Nigel's Red Volvulus Skin Sacs on February 19, 2014, 11:25:24 PM
:mittens: :mittens: :mittens:

This is the way to go down, in a blaze of glorious spaggotry! RAH!!!!

Paes & Richter are my next two victims.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

LMNO

#21
February 20, 2014, 03:52:51 PM
Straight outta PeeDee, crazy motherfucker named Alty,
From the land called "We're all Going Galt, see?"
When called down for a rubdown
Squeeze the hand, and bodies are shut down
You too spag, if ya wanna fuck with him
The mods are gonna hafta come and get in-
Volved, with a time out, or a banning,
For the punk motherfuckers that's spamming
Noobs start to mumble, they wanna flame war
Burn 'em and serve em' and hit 'em like a Claymore
Goin off on a libertard like that
with the facts that's fuckin up their act
So give it up, y'damn noob
Ain't no tellin when he's down for a drunk move
Here's a Saturday Night to keep you dancin
with coordination like the Titanic is crashin
SHAKE THAT is the tool
Flailing around like a motherfuckin fool
You can try to step to Alty
But if you do, your worldview is faulty
yo weekly, monthly and yearly
He's gonna troll you until you can't see clearly
When he's down with the PD to the C-O-M
You know better than to fuck with them
So when he's posting on your wall, you'll reconsider
Throwin snark, cuz you know Alty's quicker
When he leaves, better act sweetly
Cuz you know where's he's from, comin straight outta PeeDee.

The Good Reverend Roger

#22
February 20, 2014, 04:12:16 PM
 :lulz:
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#23
February 20, 2014, 05:42:42 PM
 :lulz: Well-played.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Junkenstein

#24
February 20, 2014, 08:23:51 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 19, 2014, 11:22:41 PM
GAMES WITHOUT FRONTIERS COMING RIGHT UP.

I'M STILL WAITING FUCKER.

If you don't, I will.

And LMNO:  :lulz:
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#25
February 20, 2014, 09:24:45 PM
Quote from: Junkenstein on February 20, 2014, 08:23:51 PM
Quote from: Dirty Old Uncle Roger on February 19, 2014, 11:22:41 PM
GAMES WITHOUT FRONTIERS COMING RIGHT UP.

I'M STILL WAITING FUCKER.

If you don't, I will.

And LMNO:  :lulz:

I've been a little busy with things going pear-shaped.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#26
June 05, 2014, 07:02:04 PM
Bumpity
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

#27
June 05, 2014, 08:43:52 PM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on February 19, 2014, 11:22:41 PM
GAMES WITHOUT FRONTIERS COMING RIGHT UP.

Still waiting.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.

The Good Reverend Roger

#28
June 05, 2014, 08:52:51 PM
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Junkenstein

#29
June 05, 2014, 08:54:18 PM
Is that a threat? Because I did warn you, if you don't, I will.
Nine naked Men just walking down the road will cause a heap of trouble for all concerned.
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