The bible

[Ben]

I haven't read much of the bible because I'm lazy and because it's diabolical, so I've decided to pick the brains of fellow black sheep to distinguish the highlights of it, which might be useful arsenal in conversing with Christians.  What are some of the best and/or worst verses from the bible?

[LMNO]

If you hunt around these boards, you'll find we've covered this fairly extensively.  

I suggest PM-ing Pope Loudicre... I think he has a compiled list.




[edit: all the same, my favorite has always been Ezekiel 23:20- "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses."]

[Wishfarple]

Also, how could you expect to argue about the Bible if you've never read it?  Picking some verses out of context and looking smug isn't generally a great debate tactic.

[Ben]

I've only read a little bit from genesis and revelations.  I probly should read more.  I just thought I might value the perspective of discordians on the matter, if there are any who have read a lot of it, because I see no thread specifically about the bible ever since Jehova was fired.

[LMNO]

Check out the "Operation Mindfuck" section, and look for jakes involving the Gideon's Bible.

[Mangrove]

Akoussia the Lesser is very knowledgable on bible jaking.

Join the Discordeons - make hotel literature more interesting!

[Gimoz]

Why read it? If you are going to debate about it, make things up as you go.

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

Why read it? If you are going to debate about it, make things up as you go.

Because it is more fun to throw their own book at them.  Most Christians have no idea what is in there.  Unless someone tells them what to think on Sunday morning, they don't look.  It is fun to see the look on their faces when you ask about them whores of whoredom passage.

The History Channel and A & E have some funny shows as well.  Well, they're funny to me, they are serious shows.  Sex in the bible, stuff like that.  There are some parts of the bible that are pretty much porn, but I have no idea where they are at.  Once in a while there will be a show about books that never made it into the bible, those are fun too.

[LMNO]

I have a bunch of passages compiled at home, I'll see if i can find time to post 'em.

[Hoshiko]

I read the bible as a child but I was thinking of getting another copy and going through it again, just for kicks.

What's the best version to get? I'm pretty sure I read the free LDS version before.

[the real fey aini]

Picture bible.  

No, seriously!  They make one that has a lot of pictures interspersed throughout the pages, and one that's like an enormous comic book!  THAT one rules so hard.

[LMNO]

I read the bible as a child but I was thinking of getting another copy and going through it again, just for kicks.

What's the best version to get? I'm pretty sure I read the free LDS version before.

I usually use this portal, 'cuz it's free, and it has 10 or so different versions, so you can get the juciest translation.

[Hoshiko]

About Gonorrhea and other vital matters.

I can already see that I'm going to wear out that search function.

I grew up with bible cartoons. I don't need any more religious illustrations, unless it's that Chick Tract about Cthulhu. Feel free to send that my way.

[Bob the Mediocre]

I'd like a Cthulhu cartoon, too. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I realize I'm new here and don't really get whether you guys are kidding about this topic or not, but since I'm a person who does read the Bible and does believe the Bible is the Truth, one of my favorite verses is at the end of the Bible.  It quotes Jesus as saying, "Surely I am coming soon."   Another one is "Be still and know that I am God."