For Doktor Howl

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Two things:

1. Portland's official city slogan is "The City That Works"

2. http://portlandtribune.com/component/content/article?id=85433

Among other jewels:

What do Interstate 5 drivers see as they peel off the freeway and head down the chute that leads to the Morrison Bridge and into downtown?

Yes, the glittering towers of concrete and glass, nestling on a bed of greens. But there's also a guide sign with puckered white lettering that reads 'Washingon Street' on a backboard that instead of the usual green looks like a piece of toast. Why?

About 100 feet farther on there's another, hanging from a rusty support. Next to that is an empty space where another sign used to point to the turnoff to Naito Parkway.

The reason they've been there so long is no one knew who was responsible for it. The 'Washington Street' guide signs are usually the City of Portland Office of Transportation's territory, except when they are on river bridges, which are the responsibility of the county.

Just to confuse things further, the state maintains signs on state highways - and Naito Parkway used to be one. Until five years ago the state also maintained signs pointing to state highways. When the state stopped caring for them it removed the Naito Parkway turnoff sign. But only that one.

I DON'T EVEN NOTICE THIS SHIT.

[Doktor Howl]

I have never seen a NON-FUNCTIONAL street sign until I went to Portland.

They're FIXED OBJECTS with NO MOVING PARTS and they STILL DON'T FUCKING WORK.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I have never seen a NON-FUNCTIONAL street sign until I went to Portland.

They're FIXED OBJECTS with NO MOVING PARTS and they STILL DON'T FUCKING WORK.

I've become acclimated to it.

One of these visits, I'm going to take you to Hayden Island, mostly to show you my favorite park but also partly to show you the road, which is kind of amazing.

Hayden Island is also the former location of the funniest amusement park ever. Like everything else of historic interest in the area, it burned to the ground.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

We have a LOT of historic markers where you pull over and read about the thing that used to be visible from that spot. They all end with "It burned to the ground".

I have no idea whether this is normal.

[Doktor Howl]

We have a LOT of historic markers where you pull over and read about the thing that used to be visible from that spot. They all end with "It burned to the ground".

I have no idea whether this is normal.

Sounds fairly normal.  At least by my standards.  Here they always end "And then they ran out of water and died like dogs."

Seriously, though.  The intersection of Alkeny and 4th, the street signs are BLANK.  How does that even HAPPEN?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

We have a LOT of historic markers where you pull over and read about the thing that used to be visible from that spot. They all end with "It burned to the ground".

I have no idea whether this is normal.

Sounds fairly normal.  At least by my standards.  Here they always end "And then they ran out of water and died like dogs."

Seriously, though.  The intersection of Alkeny and 4th, the street signs are BLANK.  How does that even HAPPEN?

I've never noticed that. It's actually kind of delightful.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Occasionally the city renames major thoroughfares with little or no warning, so sometimes you see signs that refer to street names that don't exist anymore.

There's also Broadway, which runs east-west on the east side of the river and north-south on the west side of the river.

[Doktor Howl]

Occasionally the city renames major thoroughfares with little or no warning, so sometimes you see signs that refer to street names that don't exist anymore.

There's also Broadway, which runs east-west on the east side of the river and north-south on the west side of the river.

Look, lady...If ALL THOSE OTHER CITIES can deal without having a tesseract, SO CAN YOU GUYS.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Occasionally the city renames major thoroughfares with little or no warning, so sometimes you see signs that refer to street names that don't exist anymore.

There's also Broadway, which runs east-west on the east side of the river and north-south on the west side of the river.

Look, lady...If ALL THOSE OTHER CITIES can deal without having a tesseract, SO CAN YOU GUYS.

[East Coast Hustle]

I was always partial to the completely uncontrolled 4-way intersections. Mostly because I drove a '94 Explorer with an already-bent bumper and a paint job I clearly didn't care about.

[Doktor Howl]

I was always partial to the completely uncontrolled 4-way intersections. Mostly because I drove a '94 Explorer with an already-bent bumper and a paint job I clearly didn't care about.

What I love about Portland is the highway off ramps.  On curves.  With the sign telling you about it 20 feet from the intersection.  And the exits are numbered backwards.

The only place that's worse is St Louis, where they don't label the exits because fuck you.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

How can the exits be numbered backwards? They're numbered in the order that they ARE.

However, Doktor Howl, consider this mystery: how is it that things are constantly burning to the ground here when it never stops raining?

[Doktor Howl]

How can the exits be numbered backwards? They're numbered in the order that they ARE.

However, Doktor Howl, consider this mystery: how is it that things are constantly burning to the ground here when it never stops raining?

I started a thread about this sort of thing.  Your burning footprints included.  Don't think I didn't notice.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

How can the exits be numbered backwards? They're numbered in the order that they ARE.

However, Doktor Howl, consider this mystery: how is it that things are constantly burning to the ground here when it never stops raining?

I started a thread about this sort of thing.  Your burning footprints included.  Don't think I didn't notice.

[Cainad (dec.)]

 

Guess I have to visit Portland at some point.