Dear Internet: How to get your dick wet without raping anybody

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

And no. Just futile.

Rapists thinking reasonably...

Most rapists don't think they're rapists. Much as you presumably don't think you're an asshole.

THIS IS AN IMPORTANT POINT, and one that doesn't get much time. When people say "RAPE" and "RAPIST," for some reason, they think of some badly-costumed mime hopping out from behind a bush, clubbing a lady over the head and dragging her into an alley. That happens, of course, but it's less than half of the cases. And that's part of the reason the OP in this thread is meaningful.

JUST BECAUSE YOU DID NOT HOLD A KNIFE TO SOMEONE AND FORCE YOURSELF ON HER (or him) doesn't mean you can't be guilty of rape. Rape isn't even always a violent act. Sometimes there's a grey area, and that's the red flag: IF THERE'S A GREY AREA, DO NOT PROCEED.

Personally, I am loathe to consider myself a predator. I do not disrespect women, I do not cat-call, I think of them as people and not as objects. I am the last person who would ever rape anyone. And yet, I have had the opportunity to follow the advice in the OP! Multiple times! Luckily for all involved, following that kind of advice is something of a second nature to me, but it was still a choice.

That's why it's important to remind people that rapists do not, as a rule, consider themselves rapists. In fact the entire mindset that leads to rape can prevent such a self-identification, because in order to recognize a rape you have to recognize a victim. And rapists, both the violent forceful kind and the slimy opportunist kind, fail to recognize their victim. They don't see a person there, they only see an object. So it has to be repeated, and when it is derailed it has to be brought back in line, because when so many people lack the internal narrative that the people around them ARE FUCKING CONSCIOUS, it has to become a public broadcast. Not because it will fix the assholes who can't make the right choice, but because it will remind those of us who CAN make the right choice to DO SO.

Well said, Vex.

[Telarus]

Very well said.

[Junkenstein]

Firstly, Nicely put Vex.
Secondly, QG - Nigels opening comment and Vex's reply might be Big words with a couple of tweaks? Have a look.

NSFW: hxxp://www.ohjoysextoy.com/consent/

I know it's the wrong reaction but it's just so depressing that people still need this shit explaining to them. There's nothing remotely controversial or radical in the content, it's just a simple outline of how to act like a reasonable human. This shouldn't be a high expectation but once again, it appears to be.

Huh. I have the opposite reaction. I enjoy reading tips and guidelines that I wholeheartedly agree with, it makes me feel like I'm part of a group I actually want to be a part of.
Maybe this is a sense of community? I don't think I have experienced it enough to recognize it.

It is like reading a well written moralizing children's story (for example: The Tiffany Aching storyline in Pratchett's Disworld books). It doesn't feel like someone is telling me how to act or think, it feels more like someone is agreeing with me. And that is always a nice feeling.

Hmm.

I suspect my aversion may be somewhat on the fact that I do agree with it. Reading things I agree with makes me uncomfortable for many reasons, the first is that you tend to STOP THINKING. That's when all kind of bad shit can happen. If you're not questioning the material and source at all times the chances are you'll fuck up. The second is that when I'm reading shit that I agree with it just baffles me that there's apparently swathes of people that haven't got simple shit down yet. I'd have the same kind of reaction if the piece was about murder or something equally appalling. You just shouldn't have to explain to people by now that this shit is totally unacceptable.

I sincerely hope that this era is remembered with the due disdain and disgust it's earned.

[Chelagoras The Boulder]

in one of my classes, i read a very good research article concerning a proposed Universal sexual health model; one that i'd really like to post here when it isn't super late at night. it had a pretty thorough and workable outline for promoting a greater degree of sexual health and communication.

[Chelagoras The Boulder]

Here it is:
https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B6NN1t_PdXNDLWhHNVZEdzVTMGc/view?usp=sharing

[Pergamos]

OP seems pretty common sense, and useful in a fairly basic way.  Personally I would like to see more in it on how to actually get with someone, since the title promises that without actually delivering.

My personal tips in that respect are:

Look her in the eyes when you talk to her and when she talks to you, eye contact indicates interest and will help you pay attention to what she is saying as well as possibly help you get her into bed.

Mention that you are interested in her, perhaps in a humorous way so you can feel less rejected if she deflects you.

If she does deflect you let it be, maybe she is playing hard to get, but would you rather miss a chance at sex or come off as a pushy asshole?  (hint, if the answer is pushy asshole then you need to work on yourself a bit before trying to get anyone to have sex with you)

These are, of course, pretty basic tips, but the basics are really the most important part, in my opinion.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I think you missed the most important one:

1. Treat her like a human being.

[Reginald Ret]

I think you missed the most important one:

1. Treat her like a human being.

Thanks, I couldn't put my finger on the problem with that post.

Uhm, I mean:
NO DAMMIT! WOMEN ARE SLOTMACHINES!
IF YOU THROW THE COIN IN JUST RIGHT AND PULL THE LEVER IN JUST THE RIGHT WAY THEY WILL PUT OUT!
(Don't forget to put on your lucky underwear!)

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I think you missed the most important one:

1. Treat her like a human being.

Thanks, I couldn't put my finger on the problem with that post.

Uhm, I mean:
NO DAMMIT! WOMEN ARE SLOTMACHINES!
IF YOU THROW THE COIN IN JUST RIGHT AND PULL THE LEVER IN JUST THE RIGHT WAY THEY WILL PUT OUT!
(Don't forget to put on your lucky underwear!)

Right? What men need are more step-by-step, detailed, practical tips for unlocking the combination to women's vaginas. Because we're all the same, so the same combination will work on all of us once you know it.

[Meunster]

Sex in those scenarios doesn't seem like any fun, anyway.

"She just laid there the whole time."

[Demolition Squid]

I think you missed the most important one:

1. Treat her like a human being.

Thanks, I couldn't put my finger on the problem with that post.

Uhm, I mean:
NO DAMMIT! WOMEN ARE SLOTMACHINES!
IF YOU THROW THE COIN IN JUST RIGHT AND PULL THE LEVER IN JUST THE RIGHT WAY THEY WILL PUT OUT!
(Don't forget to put on your lucky underwear!)

Right? What men need are more step-by-step, detailed, practical tips for unlocking the combination to women's vaginas. Because we're all the same, so the same combination will work on all of us once you know it.

Am I doing it right?

[Reginald Ret]

I think you missed the most important one:

1. Treat her like a human being.

Thanks, I couldn't put my finger on the problem with that post.

Uhm, I mean:
NO DAMMIT! WOMEN ARE SLOTMACHINES!
IF YOU THROW THE COIN IN JUST RIGHT AND PULL THE LEVER IN JUST THE RIGHT WAY THEY WILL PUT OUT!
(Don't forget to put on your lucky underwear!)

Right? What men need are more step-by-step, detailed, practical tips for unlocking the combination to women's vaginas. Because we're all the same, so the same combination will work on all of us once you know it.

Am I doing it right?

NOPE!
(It ends in A then B, silly)

[EK WAFFLR]

No, Reg. It's B A. But Sqiuddy forgot the [start] button.

[EK WAFFLR]

I think you missed the most important one:

1. Treat her like a human being.

Thanks, I couldn't put my finger on the problem with that post.

Uhm, I mean:
NO DAMMIT! WOMEN ARE SLOTMACHINES!
IF YOU THROW THE COIN IN JUST RIGHT AND PULL THE LEVER IN JUST THE RIGHT WAY THEY WILL PUT OUT!
(Don't forget to put on your lucky underwear!)

Right? What men need are more step-by-step, detailed, practical tips for unlocking the combination to women's vaginas. Because we're all the same, so the same combination will work on all of us once you know it.

WATCH THE VIDEO WOMEN DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE! ONLY $95.99 FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY

[Bu🤠ns]

Firstly, Nicely put Vex.
Secondly, QG - Nigels opening comment and Vex's reply might be Big words with a couple of tweaks? Have a look.

NSFW: hxxp://www.ohjoysextoy.com/consent/

I know it's the wrong reaction but it's just so depressing that people still need this shit explaining to them. There's nothing remotely controversial or radical in the content, it's just a simple outline of how to act like a reasonable human. This shouldn't be a high expectation but once again, it appears to be.

Huh. I have the opposite reaction. I enjoy reading tips and guidelines that I wholeheartedly agree with, it makes me feel like I'm part of a group I actually want to be a part of.
Maybe this is a sense of community? I don't think I have experienced it enough to recognize it.

It is like reading a well written moralizing children's story (for example: The Tiffany Aching storyline in Pratchett's Disworld books). It doesn't feel like someone is telling me how to act or think, it feels more like someone is agreeing with me. And that is always a nice feeling.

Hmm.

I suspect my aversion may be somewhat on the fact that I do agree with it. Reading things I agree with makes me uncomfortable for many reasons, the first is that you tend to STOP THINKING. That's when all kind of bad shit can happen. If you're not questioning the material and source at all times the chances are you'll fuck up. The second is that when I'm reading shit that I agree with it just baffles me that there's apparently swathes of people that haven't got simple shit down yet. I'd have the same kind of reaction if the piece was about murder or something equally appalling. You just shouldn't have to explain to people by now that this shit is totally unacceptable.

I sincerely hope that this era is remembered with the due disdain and disgust it's earned.

There are some things that require no deliberation...eating, sleeping, not raping people....