Plumbing Issues

[Referendum Dr Konk, N-QIR]

GROTESQUELY ADVANCED COMMODE TECHNOLOGY
AND OTHER INTERNATIONAL PLUMBING-RELATED CONCERNS

I walked between the rows of shower stalls at the Austin Jewish Community Center and was confronted by the harsh truth that my usual stall was taken. This was an outrage! I had just finished working out and had been looking forward to a nice cool shower in the comfort of my highly territorial self,Äôs usual shower stall. And it was taken. So, tears in my eyes, I slowly shuffled my way into stall number four.
   Upon removing my only piece of clothing, a single white towel, I conveyed myself to the far end of the stall to turn the water on. What I found at the far end of the stall was both shocking and appalling. The knob in this stall was different from the one in the stall I had become accustomed to. I had encountered this problem of non-standardized plumbing fixtures before, but that was different. Before, it had always been the case that this problem was only noticeable by leaving one motel and going to another. This, however, was in the same building.

After I managed to get the water running in shower stall number four, I began thinking about this issue. I realized that this problem is no trivial thing. This is a dilemma which must be faced by all of humanity on a multinational level. This one incident had made me realize that this is a whole slew of problems. From the disparity of toilet conditions on an international level down to the issue of multiple types of water controls in the men,Äôs shower area of the Austin Jewish Community Center, this is a very real problem which must be dealt with.

Firstly, we must address the issue of shower and bath tub fixtures. Here in the United States, we have a huge problem with standardizing whether or not to actually use a knob or a lever or a combination of both or just a lever or one of a whole host of other methods of initializing something so simple as a bathing experience.
   Not only those matters, but also that of plumbing disparity. Much of Appalachia and other rural regions of our great nation have yet to receive the same advanced plumbing that we in the cities benefit from. This is not just a domestic problem. We must also the face the harsh reality of the state of bathing in third world countries where most citizens rarely at most and as infrequently as never have a chance to bathe.

Further, there is also the very realistic crisis relating to toilets in our world. From the high-tech talking toilets of Japan to the fecal piles of third-world Africa, the inequality of shit disposal on an international level is disgusting. The Japanese need to have a sanction placed on them, requiring them to give over the secrets of their grotesquely advanced commode technology. Their toilets are getting so advanced that one Japanese firm is doing research into toilets which will connect to the internet and report to your doctor on your health. Meanwhile we here in America are stuck with archaic porcelain crappers available at hardware stores, instead of radio shack. Even further down the line are the world,Äôs cast-aside African primitives and people who live up a tree in South America who have to shit in ditches.
   In the area of toilets we once again have a standardization problem. Our cousins across the Atlantic, the Brits, have not standardized flushing methods. Sometimes, you pull up on a lever. Other times, you push down on a lever. You can also find toilets which work like a two-knob sink, have a chain which is pulled, or a button to push.

All in all, the world we live in today is full of digusting plumbing-related inequalities and concerns. Now the issue at hand is what to do about this problem. I propose that a UN International Committee on the Standardization and Equalization of Plumbing be established.

cricket

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Standardized plumbing is a tool of the devil.

[agent compassion]

Ah, fuggit. Just do what our leaders do: dig a spider hole and wipe with a copy of the US Constitution when you're done.

[Yahtomet]

I think that the generally accepted rule is that the Shower to Bath switch is usually a knob, and all others are completely up in the air.

Standardization of any time is the tool of Eris.

[Referendum Dr Konk, N-QIR]

That snarls like a porcupine.

stink

[East Coast Hustle]

I walked between the rows of shower stalls at the Auschwitz Jewish Community Center...

*claps hand over own mouth*

must not make tasteless joke....must not make tasteless joke...

DAMN! too late....



Editors note: anyone who finds themselves getting angry and/or offended by this post should seriously re-examine their commitment to being a discordian. If you can't make fun of ethnic cleansing, what can you make fun of?

[agent compassion]

Oh, don't hold out on us, Turd....you know you wanna...

[Bob the Mediocre]

Oh, don't hold out on us, Turd....you know you wanna...

He already did, I think.

[Referendum Dr Konk, N-QIR]

I'm either missing a tasteless joke here or you misread the part where is says AUSTIN Jewish Community Center.

[agent compassion]

Referendum for Referendum:
Re: Quoting

Dear Referendum Dr. Konk,

It has recently come to our attention that you have noticed the "requoting" of yourself in postings here on this board. As you have already been informed, this is a fairly common practice in these parts and one that we reserve the right to employ in the cause of improving the overall quality of posts. Your posts have been chosen to receive these improvements at NO COST TO YOU!!!! This special offer must not be missed! We have just a few of these post-improvement packages left! ACT NOW WHILE THERE IS STILL TIME!!!!

And if you don't....we'll STILL requote you. Because that's how it is around here. Get used to it.

[LMNO]

Referendum for Referendum:
Re: Quoting

Dear Referendum Dr. Konk,

It has recently come to our attention that you have noticed the "requoting" of yourself in postings here on this board.  We are allowed to do this, because we do it through the hole in the sheet.

[Horab Fibslager]

like d000d, my penis is gigantor!

if i even cared, this might be sad.



btw, nobody careas about the world, let;s talk about soemthign worth while in this life, eh?

[agent compassion]

Dear Referendum Dr. Konk,

It has recently come to our attention that you have noticed the "requoting" of yourself in postings here on this board. We are allowed to do this, because we do it through the hole in the sheet.

LOL! I forgot all about the hole in the sheet....I was too busy making this semi-automatic poo stick here....