So, I think I'm about to be fired.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

Jobs, like every kind of interpersonal relationship, are terrible and unrewarding. I have been dating my current employer for almost 4 years now, and the shine has worn off a bit. It's difficult to ignore the toxic political atmosphere, and I can see that my work - although it's as good as it's ever been - is motivated more by the flailing reflexes of a drowning spirit than by anything like a desire to succeed or make progress. My department, aside from being a pile of similarly flailing, dysfunctional Aspies, is currently being ground into mush beneath the wheels of a particularly large bus. We have "struggled to meet key metrics" and "become somewhat lax in our duties". That's "we" the department, not the royal we, mind you.

I have no very specific evidence that I am about to be canned. On paper, everything is great. Performance review for 2015 was a solid 4/5 (5/5 is considered impossible except for people in Sales), no write-ups, no coaching. But the last couple of weeks there has been a whole lot of "make sure you write down what you do and how to do it so others can cover you," a lot of emails not being replied to, projects going unreviewed, and general gruffness from Teh Mgmt. Markedly lower levels of eye contact. Responsibilities that were mine according to paper, given to other people.

Also, last week there was a Particularly Bad Fuckup, which could reasonably be considered at least partly my fault, and it came a time of great hawkish watching that arose from the previous week's Particularly Bad Fuckup during which I inadvertently exposed the complete ineptitude of my superiors to their superiors.

Now, I am a paranoid person by nature. And it is true that the prospect of job hunting has been on my mind for some time now, to the point of submitting my resume to a few places. I can't really discern whether my cabin fever is bleeding into my "what the fuck is happening" cortex, or if I'm picking up something serious. If it does turn out to be all in my head, I should probably start taking Xanax. If it isn't, something stronger may be in order. Either way, if you happen to be a billionaire with nothing better to do than pay me large sums of cash in return for computer and network services (or, to be honest, any kind of service), I will not summarily dismiss any offers.

[Faust]

That situation sounds all too familiar, I was in a place like that a few years back.

You wont be fired, because you haven't strictly done anything wrong. They could be trying to manage you out though. If you like what you do or the coworkers you work with, and even if you don't and would like a change I would say either way send out applications while comfortable to do so.

When you get an offer (which is likely soon in IT when you have experience), see how your boss takes it. If they want to keep you, they will counter offer. This is where it gets funny, because even if they wanted to let you go: getting an offer undermines any performance metrics, gossip etc, it makes your boss look bad to his boss because another company has placed a value judgement on you, which may contradict what your boss was saying, it can be in their interests to promote you, if they let you go, they are probably looking to downsize the whole department anyway.

At least if you move to a new place you get the honeymoon feeling all over, even another misery pit is glowing stars for the first 3 to 6 months.

[The Wizard Joseph]

Pretty much what Faust said. It definitely sounds like you're being quietly "devalued" and probably put to blame by someone behind your back. You're better than that.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I don't think I have violated any actual rules, but then this place hardly consults the manual anyway. Everything from wall decor to product launches is done by the seat of our pants. And my director has this thing where every time his ass is on the line for something, one of his reports gets the ax and suddenly he's a hero again. Oh and he just got one of those self-congratulatory trophies (an actual physical trophy award) that HR makes to make people feel special.

[Cain]

This sounds like how my department treats me every day.

I agree with Faust, if you can get offers from elsewhere, it will give you a far stronger negotiating terms, as well as see how they value you as an employee.

[tyrannosaurus vex]

I have gotten a couple of offers, I'm just not sure I want to take that leap yet. If I mention I have gotten offers from elsewhere, it basically requires me to quit because it'll be plainly evident that I don't intend to stick around anyway. They might counteroffer, but they'll only do it to keep me on long enough to make my transition a smoother one. By that time the offer will almost definitely have been rescinded. So if I go to them with an offer, I just want to make sure it's one I'd be happy to take anyway.

[LMNO]

If you feel like you're going to get the axe rather than laid off (in the US, the former makes it harder to get compensation), contact HR and tell them you feel that you're being unfairly targeted, and may be terminated without just cause.  They have to remain confidential, and it becomes part of the official paper trail.

Or, you can juts ghost and get a new job that hopefully has better office politics.