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The *REAL* Crime of this Year

Started by Doktor Howl, July 18, 2018, 05:14:43 PM

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Doktor Howl

July 18, 2018, 05:14:43 PM
This fucking coffee.  It is a national disgrace.  It is a microcosm of everything that's been done to the little guy since 1975.  It tastes like the Iran hostage crisis and the embargo, and it was purchased by the same sort of people that thought the Iran/Contra deal was a fantastic idea.  This shit-in-a-mug makes me want to drone-bomb Juan Valdez and his Goddamn burro.  It makes me hate the flag.  It makes me hate this country, the United States of America.  It makes me hate cops.  It makes me hate ALL WHITE PEOPLE.

I try not to be inflammatory, and I know I have mentioned this all before.  But I am just trying to explain myself; to cry out to the world about the terrible things that have been done to me in the name of "economy".
Molon Lube

Cain

#1
July 18, 2018, 06:16:25 PM
I've been informed by Italians that all coffee outside of Italy tastes like that.

I've been informed by Turks that Italian coffee also tastes like that.

Doktor Howl

#2
July 18, 2018, 07:44:41 PM
Quote from: Cain on July 18, 2018, 06:16:25 PM
I've been informed by Italians that all coffee outside of Italy tastes like that.

I've been informed by Turks that Italian coffee also tastes like that.

No, this is SPECIAL.  It's not real coffee.  It's coffee syrup in a bag, and the machine pumps hot water through it when you pull on the lever.

It's not natural.  It's wrong. 
Molon Lube

Cain

#3
July 18, 2018, 07:49:28 PM
....

:horrormirth:

Dizzii Dolli

#4
July 18, 2018, 09:20:16 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 18, 2018, 07:44:41 PM
No, this is SPECIAL.  It's not real coffee.  It's coffee syrup in a bag, and the machine pumps hot water through it when you pull on the lever.

It's not natural.  It's wrong.

Why put yourself through this?

Doktor Howl

#5
July 18, 2018, 10:44:23 PM
Quote from: Dizzii Dolli on July 18, 2018, 09:20:16 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 18, 2018, 07:44:41 PM
No, this is SPECIAL.  It's not real coffee.  It's coffee syrup in a bag, and the machine pumps hot water through it when you pull on the lever.

It's not natural.  It's wrong.

Why put yourself through this?

It's the only game in town.  :cry:
Molon Lube

Dizzii Dolli

#6
July 18, 2018, 11:35:31 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 18, 2018, 10:44:23 PM
Quote from: Dizzii Dolli on July 18, 2018, 09:20:16 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 18, 2018, 07:44:41 PM
No, this is SPECIAL.  It's not real coffee.  It's coffee syrup in a bag, and the machine pumps hot water through it when you pull on the lever.

It's not natural.  It's wrong.

Why put yourself through this?

It's the only game in town.  :cry:

Heartbreaking  :sad:

Doktor Howl

#7
July 19, 2018, 12:56:16 AM
Quote from: Dizzii Dolli on July 18, 2018, 11:35:31 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 18, 2018, 10:44:23 PM
Quote from: Dizzii Dolli on July 18, 2018, 09:20:16 PM
Quote from: Doktor Howl on July 18, 2018, 07:44:41 PM
No, this is SPECIAL.  It's not real coffee.  It's coffee syrup in a bag, and the machine pumps hot water through it when you pull on the lever.

It's not natural.  It's wrong.

Why put yourself through this?

It's the only game in town.  :cry:

Heartbreaking  :sad:

Kids in Africa don't have it this bad.  :cry:
Molon Lube

Cain

#8
July 19, 2018, 01:12:08 AM
Kids in Africa actually tried it, and decided to stick with starving.

Dizzii Dolli

#9
July 19, 2018, 02:19:34 AM
"No thanks, I'd rather chew dirt."
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