Ask Bella

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Dear Bella,

I went totally overboard on a motorcycle today, and my nerves are totally shot.  My legs keep cramping up, and my eyeballs are extended 1/4" out of their sockets.

Does this mean I should slow down?  Or should I just wear sunglasses to cover up my bloodshot, fear-crazed eyes?

[Cain]

Bella, just one question:

[Bella]

no, seriously, I wanna know what it is that makes 99.9999999999% of the fucking fucktards taht I have to deal with IRL on a daily basis such fucking raging fuckwits....is that an unreasonable question?

Okay, I got yer answer right here.
99.9999999999%  of the problem is DNA and the rest is their upbringing.
Seriously. That's what it is.

It reminds me of the time my mother was yelling at me for being a "snippy little shit" and then was stupid to ask me what my problem was. I'd just been waiting for the chance to tell her I was pretty sure it was a nature vs nurture type situation.  

[East Coast Hustle]

ahh...thanks, hon...I guess it makes me feel better that there's really nothing they can DO about their symptomatic stupidity....

[Bella]

Bella, just one question:

Dear Scribe,

In Luke, Chapter 6, Jesus said:
[37] Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
[38] Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.

In keeping with this philosophy I believe that Jesus would take me for a spin on his shiney new motorbike.
And then he'd hop aboard my broom so I could return the favor.

PS: It's not Jesus I have a problem with, it's some of those who claim to follow him.

[Bella]

Dear Bella,

I went totally overboard on a motorcycle today, and my nerves are totally shot.  My legs keep cramping up, and my eyeballs are extended 1/4" out of their sockets.

Does this mean I should slow down?  Or should I just wear sunglasses to cover up my bloodshot, fear-crazed eyes?

Dear Roger,

Yes, that's what it means.  

[agent compassion]

Dear Bella,

Since when did Devil Squerrel take up acting? Because I saw a squerrel bitch-slapping some guy in the new Willy Wonka movie trailer...

*funniest goddamn thing I saw all day, too*

[Bella]

Dear Bella,

Since when did Devil Squerrel take up acting? Because I saw a squerrel bitch-slapping some guy in the new Willy Wonka movie trailer...

*funniest goddamn thing I saw all day, too*

Dear AC,

Hahaha! That sounds great.

Seriously, I knew Devil Squerrell was an actress the first time I met her.
Everything she does is larger than life. Here for instance is DS taking a nap.
In her army helmet, with her field binoculars, while the bunny stands guard.

[Bella]

Dear Bella,

i've recently started reading Shrodinger's Cat (The trilogy, not
the philo book...)

this question is singular, but it has an A and a B part........................

Dear Saint*Bastard,

I didn't forget about your question.
I'm still working on the answer to this one, and should have one for you soon.

[agent compassion]

That's a really cute picture, Bella...
My brother used to have a giant bunny like that, but I think his was blue.

[LMNO]

Dear Bella,

i've recently started reading Shrodinger's Cat (The trilogy, not
the philo book...)

this question is singular, but it has an A and a B part.

A. would one suppose that reading the Illuminatus! trilogy first
prepares a reader for the psychic bombardments i've been treated to
in only the first 77 pages or so of Shrodinger?

B. Speaking of bombardments, is it pure paranoia, happy coincidence,
prophecy or something *else* that runs down my spine as i read
shrodinger's cat? in less than the first five pages, things in the book
(specific dates and places, written down in 1979, not 2005 for example)
keep paralleling my own existence in a creepy manner.

[fact one (tenable): RAW makes reference to occult adepts finding his
manuscript for Shrodinger in a collapsed Masonic Auditorium in SF,
just after an Earthquake in 2005. i procured the book in a bookshop
not too far from the Masonic Auditorium, in this year (gregorian 2005),
and the day before, a minor earthquake rattled SF. oh, and i'm in the
range of (let's say) an X*...]

in short, i'm i crazy (moreso than i thought), or jumping the gun, or
justified?

If you don't mind, Bella, I think I got this one on lock.

A. No
B. Welcome to the Synchro-Net.  Please, don't feed the bears.

[Bella]

Edited for legal reasons.

[East Coast Hustle]

...In other words, we're the wild card in the deck, engines of steam, the arrow aimed at the heart of the beast. We are catalysts for change and are charged with returning the missing piece to the puzzle, completing the picture, thereby restoring balance and harmony. Until the pendulum swings again and it becomes our turn to take the puzzle apart in order to put it back together in a new pattern.

holy shit!

fucking RAH!!!!!

[Iron Sulfide]

Dear Bella,

i've recently started reading Shrodinger's Cat (The trilogy, not
the philo book...)

this question is singular, but it has an A and a B part.
...blah blah blah....

If you don't mind, Bella, I think I got this one on lock.

A. No
B. Welcome to the Synchro-Net.  Please, don't feed the bears.

i already fed the bears my left leg and right testicle, though.

now what? is there some sort of refund program?

[Iron Sulfide]

PS

bella...when you get around if at all to it, mind sending me a PM
so's i know? no telling how short my attention span
may be in the next