Eris = the Shit.

[Ben]

Eris is olde.  She has been in business for a long, long time, though She isn't the most popular girl in school anymore.  She had her fifteen minutes of fame when the Principia Discordia was written, but that's about it.  Okay, She gets some credit for some of the other fnord Discordian geniuses too, but Discordianism is not a completely positive shit.  Not that the other kids are too cool, but you think a Goddess of Discord is gonna convert the Christians, Islamists, and other assorted faith freaks?  Maybe you aren't in the business of changing the world, but the world will change you whether you succeed at changing it or not.  Eris is not well-known.  She's not just the Goddess of Chaos.  She's known by the "common people" as the Goddess of strife and discord!  Homies with Ares!  Chaos is just one of her kids and/or parents (yes, the Gods are inbred).  And if you go around preaching about Discordianism to THEM, a lot of THEM might very well kick your ass farther than the Jehova's witnesses, humorous or not.  I don't care much about y'all.  I love you, but I don't care about you.  You aren't essential to me.  But, You're good for cookies, pie, and shooting the shit, which is why I hang around maybe sometimes, and why I care enough to warn you: DO NEVER STEP.

[/o\]

i transport myself by rolling on my belly !

[The Good Reverend Roger]

i transport myself by rolling on my belly !

I shoot ducks with MIND BULLETS.

But I do it in self defense.

[Rev. St. Syn, KSC (Ret.)]

I eat glue

[LMNO]

Allow me some theology:

::steps into pulpit::

-ahem-


Eris, as we all should well know, is all things Possible and Impossible.  How can that be?  I dunno, I didn't do it.

But being all things Possible and Impossible, Eris is all the girls in school, She is Jesus, She is Mohammed, She is the Acid freak who just saw God, and the Fanatic fundamentalist hanging an Infidel.  She is Aries, She is the Jehova's Witness, She's even Jehova.

It matters little who steps, for She is the Step itself.

And she is here to tell us we are all Free.


::steps out of pulpit::



LMNO
-There is no pie anywhere.

[Ben]

Um yeah that looks better.  I probably shouldn't have slung shit at Eris since she could filet me without lifting a finger and since she is good in some ways i.e. bitchslapping the shit out of people who need a friendly bitchslap.  I wonder what else I posted on this forum last night.  I was dead drunk.  I quit drinking.  Piss gives me verbal diarhea.

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

i transport myself by rolling on my belly !

I shoot ducks with MIND BULLETS.

But I do it in self defense.

I believe in swordfish.

[-->Eris<--]

::bitchslaps OM::

Probably my ass.

[Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell]

What about your ass, my worship?

[The Doctor]

I want toast now. Thanks a lot.

[LMNO]

What about your ass, my worship?

I think she's telling us to worship her ass...



Works for me.

[Chaplin_Sinatra_Fonzarell]

Yes, let us all bow down before Eris' ass.

[The Doctor]

Hey, it beats worshipping some of the other gods these stupid apes have come up with....

[The Good Reverend Roger]

Yes, let us all bow down before Eris' ass.

Why not.  Won't be the first ass I've worshipped.

[LMNO]

All asses are the Ass of Eris.

"There is no Ass but Eris', and Hers is your Ass."