Quip Fight!!

[The Open Bar]

Try out your best quips, insults, zingers & one-liners in front of a discerning audience. Find out what works and what doesn't!!!


Free Sample: "Hey buddy!! Ever thought about giving up being an asshole for Lent?"

Ever wanted to be a stand-up comedian and just didn't have the stomach for years of obscurity and soul-crushing unfulfillment? Ever thought you could write a better sit-com? Try out your best gags here!

Free sample: "Did you hear about that new Amish terror group? They come around and try and dismantle your house before sunset!"

If you have original comic material, then we want to hear it!

Quip Fight(tm) and Quip Idol(tm) are registered trademarks of The Open Bar, a Scridology company

[agent compassion]

"She's eating for two."
"When's she having the baby?"
"Oh, a year ago..."

[The Open Bar]

we have our first contestant! big round of applause for AC!!

[Mangrove]

The weirdest phone sex chat line I ever saw advertised on tv bore the legend:

          Remember to ask billpayer's permission


"Mom! Can I use the phone?"

"Of course....who are ya callin'?"

"Uhh...MILF chat extreme...."

"Sure thing Billy....just remember to put some money in the porno piggy bank."

 "Thanks mom!"

[Horab Fibslager]

'i used tobe in the army, but then i got out and wen tto school, to get into law enforcemnt, but then i though thtat sucked so now i'm here to make money"
"yeah, before i worked here i was a brain surgeon, but then, i was like fuck that shit, the real money is in warehosue work..."

[LMNO]

Unfortunately, I'm not that funny...

[DJRubberducky]

Just remember, you can't file for unemployment just because you've stopped giving blowjobs.

[Mangrove]

Just remember, you can't file for unemployment just because you've stopped giving blowjobs.

what about being fired from a blowjob?

[LMNO]

Just remember, you can't file for unemployment just because you've stopped giving blowjobs.

what about being fired from a blowjob?

Surprisingly enough, that's the one small moment in your life when you don't suck.

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

"HOLY SHIT! It looks like somebody napalmed your face and tried to put the fire out with a fork! What the hell happened to you?"
To a friend that tried to do a 50-50 down some rails and ended up skidding on his face for a few feet across concrete. Fucking OUCH! I wish I had pictures to show you guys.

[The Open Bar]

what about being fired from a blowjob?

Surprisingly enough, that's the one small moment in your life when you don't suck.[/quote]


   

big round of applause for LMNO...he's here all this week, folks.

[agent compassion]

Surprisingly enough, that's the one small moment in your life when you don't suck.

Ba-ZING!

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

I wish I was witty

[the other anonymous]

"Is that a Weapon of Mass Destruction in your pocket, or are you just happy to invade me?"

[Anonymous]

My favorite QUIP:  Every particle effects every other particle everywhere.