Rant 97: Predilections

[Irreverend Hugh, KSC]

Rant 97
Predilections

"Every few thousand years some shepherd inhales smoke from a burning bush and has a vision or eats moldy rye bread in a cave and sees God. From then on their followers kill one another at the slightest provocation. Haunted houses called temples are built by one side and torn down by another - and then bloody quarrels continue over the crumbling foundations. Organized religion preaches Order and Love but spawns Chaos and Fury. Why?

"Because the whole Material Universe is exclusive property of the Greco-Roman Goddess of Chaos, Confusion, Strife, Helter-Skelter and Hodge- Podge. No Spiritual power is even strong enough to dent Her chariot fenders. No material force can resist the temptation of Her Fifth Intergalactic Bank of the Acropolis Slush Fund for Graft and Corruption."
-Kerry Thornley (Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst, K.S.C.)

You can't go back to school with just any notebook and wherever life takes you, you can count on more bars than the competition. Speaking of which, are you ready for the square-dancing salsa competition? If you find yourself going insane you need to purchase one of our products, satisfaction guaranteed. It's what you need. It's what you want. Say goodbye to Johnny Walker. Say goodbye to Jose Cuervo. Say goodbye to Jesus Christ. And say hello to your pineal gland. (It's okay to talk to one of your own body parts. Studies have shown that such activities lead to a healthy more satisfactory lifestyle that all of your friends will be envious of. So what, if everyone else will think you're a freak.) Besides all this, you know if the machine is turned on it will keep going and going and going, until someone either pulls the plug, or the power runs out.

There are infinitely more lies than there are truths but the lies are all the bastard children of the truths anyway. The difference lies in your mind, if you can trust your mind not to lie. And in that is an occult truth so profound it will probably knock your boots off. (What's the plan? Are you willing to acquit yourself?) Perhaps you should learn that it is time to get off the wheel and start to move in your own direction or directions. Or wherever your predilections may lead you. But if that is not enough, we can keep selling you our bottled air. We promise our Discordian Brand(tm) bottled air tastes much sweeter than any of our competition's bottled air. (But when was the last time you trusted anyone's sales pitch?)

If you don't trust anyone else's sales pitch then why trust your own ego's sales pitch? You can say that the ego is a trustworthy thing and that you know your own ego well enough. But that is the greatest lie of all, and you know it. Why bother putting any trust behind something you clearly know is a fiction....a fabrication so ephemeral that it is like clouds wafting across the sky of life? Why trust this thing that gets you hankering after every little thing and desire and distraction like a monkey jumping from tree to tree in its attempted escape from the fact that infinite life can never be owned or claimed. Identity is what you make of it. And make no mistake about it, you make up your identity as readily as an artist makes up an image on a canvas. Perhaps you need to get your ego to start obeying your own will as opposed to whatever wills have been inculcated and authorized by it as a reflection of the society you live in.

The habit of ego is like anything else. Too much of it makes you sick. But it is only a reflection of how much intellectual and spiritual colonization you have allowed into your life. Perhaps it is time for you to peel away at the onion of thoughts, fears, loves, and hatreds that make up the identity pins of your ego and realize the hidden truth of it being bottled air. (A lot of it hot, by the way.) Those who constantly assert their identity are simply slaves to the worst god of all. And you know who that is. Does your ego tell you that you are free? Not usually, unless you lie. Does your ego encourage you and support you? Not unless it wants something. Usually your ego tells you to do this or that or to think this or that or to be this or that or to acquire this or that, and there is not much wrong with this as long as you know the fictions for what they are and are actually awake at the wheel of your life, as opposed to just being on cruise control. Obviously, the ego is you, as much as your arms and legs are you. Like any other part of you, there is no need to cut it out or off or away. And like your arms and legs, if you can't control your ego then you have got problems. These problems are so common that we think our malfunctioning egos are simply the way it is. (And we have all sorts of wonderful bullshit religions to accommodate our denials.) Nothing to see here, buddy. Move along now.

What does Eris have to do with this? Don't blame Her for your messes. She'll help you solve your problems, but you got to help Her solve Hers. So you may want to think about helping yourself first. And if your ego is the great obstacle to your freedom that I have described above, you can simply go around it. (Or you can ask your ego "what have you done for me lately?") I am not saying that you are blocked by ego, I am simply urging you to get control over it and start using it for your benefit. Or at least for entertainment. Or at least something or other. As always, this could all be a pack of bald lies, especially if they are not pernicious truths. In situations like these, it is helpful to remember that you should still brush your own teeth every morning when you wake up, regardless of whether or not you could say that you know the person in the mirror. (Don't worry. It'll all come back to you at some point. If not, still don't worry. If it was important, you would have remembered it.)

If you find your gods or your god to be just like your ego then you know the source. Banish with impunity. Or imbibe some of our special Discordian bottled air....guaranteed to tickle your ass until you laugh at the very absurdity of the whole thing. Perhaps your ego only tricks you and trips you up so much because it merely wants you to stop hiding behind its eggshell and come outside to play. I know Eris wants to play with you too. So what do you say? Will you come out and play with the rest of us? You don't have to sell you soul. You don't have to buy your ego, either. Take the acid test and learn to play with the rest. We are, each one of us, the best. No, I did NOT eat the moldy bread or any mushrooms. I swear. And I have run out of rhymes so that's it.

July 20th, 2005

-Irrev. Hugh, KSC and sometimes 23C (I suppose the letters mean something to somebody)

"Discordianism may simply be the mental illness one gets when applying self-therapy while standing on one's head."

[Zurtok Khan]

STOP

FUCKING

WRITTING

THINGS

ABOUT

ME

Geesh...

[Eldora, Oracle of Alchemy]

STOP FUCKING WRITTING THINGS ABOUT ME
Geesh...

That's just your ego talking

Mine always tells me that the rules that apply to everyone else don't apply to me, I'm too special for that nonsense.  That's the biggest lie I have uncovered so far, it's even more of a lie because it is also the truth.

[Horab Fibslager]

that's not funny.