Great Opening Lines

[unlike_someone]

This book is actually wonderful (too bad it's out of print, but I think you can still find it on amazon...ISBN 1-56504-107-0) there is another really good story in here entitled "The Raw and the Cooked" by Michael Green.

You have to read the whole thing to get the twisted aspect of the story, however my favorite line from this story goes:

"The chaste maidens who tended the temple's grills and perpetual fires would remove the girl's body soon after she died."

Doesn't seem all the odd, but it's about a place called "Mr.Wally's," a fast-food chain. I like weird stories... I kind of aspire to write strange tales myself. I might post a link to one of my completed short stories... maybe for some constructive (or destructive) opinions.

[Buddha's Ghost Penis]

WE WILL READ THEM WITH ZEAL AND SQUEAL! WEEEEOOOOO!

[Ahab the Atrocious]

"The last word in this book will be Po-tweet!"  
                    -Slaughterhouse Five, by Kurt Vonnegut

The beatiful part is, the guy follows through with the promise. I suppose, in a way, it's the ultimate spoiler...

[Ahab the Atrocious]

Possibly my all-time favorite bit to grab the reader's attention:

"It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the phrase, 'as pretty as an airport.' Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only be the result of a special effort."    -Douglas Adams, from The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul


Another good Douglas Adams quote? "They hung in the air in much the same way that bricks don't."

[unlike_someone]

Here's the worst opening line to a book that I can think of at the moment:

"I'm the Vampire Lestat. Remember me? The vampire who became a super rock star, the one who wrote the autobiography?" Queen of the Damned - Anne Rice

Made me want to put the book down, which would have been pretty bad because it gets a lot better as it goes along.

[fluffy]

One day, when he was naughty, Mr. Bunnsy looked over the hedge into Farmer Fred's field and saw it was full of fresh green lettuces. Mr. Bunnsy, however, was not full of lettuces. This did not seem fair.
              - From Mr. Bunnsy Has an Adventure

  Rats!
  They fought the dogs and killed the cats, and-

  But there was more to it than that. As the Amazing Maurice said, it was just a story about people and rats. And the difficult part of it was deciding who the people were, and who were the rats.

::sigh::

the amazing maurice and his educated rodents

[Clichés_Dyed_4_My_Sins]

I said I liked being half-educated; you were so much more surprised at everything when you were ignorant.
My Family and Other Animals Author: Gerald Durrell

Here's the worst opening line to a book that I can think of at the moment:

"I'm the Vampire Lestat. Remember me? The vampire who became a super rock star, the one who wrote the autobiography?" Queen of the Damned - Anne Rice

Made me want to put the book down, which would have been pretty bad because it gets a lot better as it goes along.

That's disappointing!

Anne Rice is one of a few authors that will file suit if anyone adopts her book characters into renditions of fan fiction. Given that opening line to QotD, I can honestly say that I know a few writers that could have put a better polish on than that.    


And I adore Douglas Adams! Rest his soul.  

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." Douglas Adams

[Bella]

"Anna tucked the blanket around her baby, careful to leave the newborn's left leg out as instructed."

Grave Intent - Deborah LeBlanc

[Malaul]

Frederick Mueller staggered out into the humid, hot night. He almost pulled his anonymous escort
service blond to the ground, his grip on her hand was so strong, but they held each other upright.
The girl laughed in an alcoholic daze.

from some guy
onna fruited steet
I hope he does more

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

for fluffy:

"It is said that the effect of eating too much lettuce is "soporific."
I have never felt sleepy after eating lettuces; but then I am not a rabbit."

The Tale of the Flopsy Bunnies ~ Beatrix Potter

[chaosgraves:agentoferis]

Here's the worst opening line to a book that I can think of at the moment:

"I'm the Vampire Lestat. Remember me? The vampire who became a super rock star, the one who wrote the autobiography?" Queen of the Damned - Anne Rice

Made me want to put the book down, which would have been pretty bad because it gets a lot better as it goes along.

just because some crap is better than other crap doesn't mean I want to eat any of it...

[Bob the Mediocre]

Momma died today, or maybe it was yesgterday, i cant remember


The Stranger by Albert Camus
I HATED this book but damn great opener

Some writing class type thing I went to, they gave us that line to write a story with, as an exercise. Also said the book was too damn depressing, or something

[Malaul]

that book was aweful
Ive never read anytning so bad in my life

[Bella]

I thought 'Where the Red Fern Grows' was equally depressing and horrible.

[Bob the Mediocre]

I'll be sure never to read it then. Thanks, by the way.