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The discordian overview on the afterlife.

Started by godemperorofhell, October 17, 2005, 11:58:43 PM

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godemperorofhell

October 17, 2005, 11:58:43 PM
Ok, every bonafide religion speaks about what awaits the soul (a.k.a creamy filling) after we are wormfood or cremated or excreted by a burmese tiger, here are my viable options:
00001) Nothing, there is no such thing as a soul, it's just a trick to sell more t-shirts. We don't get any refund
00002) Heaven is just an illusion. A group of supernatural beings just created it in order to harvest souls to offer to the Great Cthulhu when he awakes. If you go to hell you are just being marinated for Cthulhu's dessert. It's all the same.
00003) The buddhist are right and we reincarnate, but human is the bottom of the karmic wheel, we all reincarnate as cockroaches. Oops, I stumped uncle Morrie!!!
00004) We return to the primordial chaos and Discordianism is really the true religion. Naaaaah! That's impossible!
00005) We return as zombies to feast upon the brains of the living.

What do you think?
I have no heaven to pay.
I have no Hell to resist.

Discordian Pope Cäsänövä Fränkënstëïn the Younger, Chaplain of the Sacred Order of the Knights of the Living Dead,Lord of the Umlaut,  Scribe of the Congregation of the Sacred Acorn. Slayer of the Gosmolast

B_M_W

#1
October 18, 2005, 02:21:31 AM
I'm leaning towards No. 3 (see monkier), but for some reason I like no five, it just rings right with me. Maybe something to do with a dream I had a few night ago...
One by one, we break the sheep from their Iron Bar Prisons and expand their imaginations, make them think for themselves. In turn, they break more from their prisons. Eventually, critical mass is reached. Our key word: Resolve. Evangelize with compassion and determination. And realize that there will be few in the beginning. We are hand picking our successors. They are the future of Discordianism. Let us guide our future with intelligence.

     --Reverse Brainwashing: A Guide http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9801.0

6.5 billion Buddhas walking around.

99.xxxxxxx% forgot they are Buddha.

Bella

#2
October 18, 2005, 02:22:29 AM
Y'all know which one I'm going to pick. :twisted:
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here

B_M_W

#3
October 18, 2005, 02:24:35 AM
:shock: You were in that dream, Be-lla! :shock:
One by one, we break the sheep from their Iron Bar Prisons and expand their imaginations, make them think for themselves. In turn, they break more from their prisons. Eventually, critical mass is reached. Our key word: Resolve. Evangelize with compassion and determination. And realize that there will be few in the beginning. We are hand picking our successors. They are the future of Discordianism. Let us guide our future with intelligence.

     --Reverse Brainwashing: A Guide http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9801.0

6.5 billion Buddhas walking around.

99.xxxxxxx% forgot they are Buddha.

Bella

#4
October 18, 2005, 02:25:51 AM
For serious? Wow.
just like in a dream
you'll open your mouth to scream
and you won't make a sound

you can't believe your eyes
you can't believe your ears
you can't believe your friends
you can't believe you're here

Horab Fibslager

#5
October 18, 2005, 02:27:44 AM
gods of pwn get sent to a purgatory that consist of a lawn chair, a cooler with endless beers, sodas and sandwhich makins, and endless desert.

untilt hey are called back to teh material plane minus flesh by meddlesome kids.

but that's another story for anotehr day.
Hell is other people.

agent compassion

#6
October 18, 2005, 02:30:35 AM
Don't forget the beer volcano.... ^_^

'I'll take you out for a meal with Mr. and Mrs. Pain, order up some violent quiche. Do you want some?' - ++++++ Moon

B_M_W

#7
October 18, 2005, 02:32:01 AM
Quote from: She Who Lurks Beyond, Oracle of DoomFor serious? Wow.

Yeah, and there were lots of zombies, and they chased me through this castle. I was scared, until you turned me into an undead, and then everything was fun and the army marched off to turn the world into zombies and eat brains.

My reactions were like:  :shock:  :x  :cry:  :twisted:  :lol:
One by one, we break the sheep from their Iron Bar Prisons and expand their imaginations, make them think for themselves. In turn, they break more from their prisons. Eventually, critical mass is reached. Our key word: Resolve. Evangelize with compassion and determination. And realize that there will be few in the beginning. We are hand picking our successors. They are the future of Discordianism. Let us guide our future with intelligence.

     --Reverse Brainwashing: A Guide http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9801.0

6.5 billion Buddhas walking around.

99.xxxxxxx% forgot they are Buddha.

agent compassion

#8
October 18, 2005, 02:32:55 AM
I wouldn't want to be zombified by anyone but Bella. :D

'I'll take you out for a meal with Mr. and Mrs. Pain, order up some violent quiche. Do you want some?' - ++++++ Moon

godemperorofhell

#9
October 18, 2005, 04:53:17 AM
Quote from: Horab Fibslagergods of pwn get sent to a purgatory that consist of a lawn chair, a cooler with endless beers, sodas and sandwhich makins, and endless desert.

untilt hey are called back to teh material plane minus flesh by meddlesome kids.

but that's another story for anotehr day.

Hey, don't forget the strippers!

"Because a religion without zombies is like a woman without tentacles" Aristotle.
I have no heaven to pay.
I have no Hell to resist.

Discordian Pope Cäsänövä Fränkënstëïn the Younger, Chaplain of the Sacred Order of the Knights of the Living Dead,Lord of the Umlaut,  Scribe of the Congregation of the Sacred Acorn. Slayer of the Gosmolast

The Good Reverend Roger

#10
October 18, 2005, 04:58:20 AM
Quote from: Horab Fibslagergods of pwn get sent to a purgatory that consist of a lawn chair, a cooler with endless beers, sodas and sandwhich makins, and endless desert.

Uh...wait a minute...
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Jack Chick

#11
October 18, 2005, 08:22:38 AM
00006: ...see the picture in my sig for details

godemperorofhell

#12
October 18, 2005, 12:29:54 PM
Quote from: Jack Chick00006: ...see the picture in my sig for details
Mr Chick... Big fan of yours.

You forgot to say that the true religion is MORMONISM!!!!!!
I have no heaven to pay.
I have no Hell to resist.

Discordian Pope Cäsänövä Fränkënstëïn the Younger, Chaplain of the Sacred Order of the Knights of the Living Dead,Lord of the Umlaut,  Scribe of the Congregation of the Sacred Acorn. Slayer of the Gosmolast

LHX

#13
October 18, 2005, 12:45:45 PM
death = hoax
neat hell
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