Bedtime stories by Fred

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

for children and whatnot!

THE GREAT STORY OF ...Um.....STUFF

once upon a time there was a llama........llama is a funny word...llama llama llama llama llama llama llama! heh heh. pantaloons is also funny, but takes more time to type so i will not repeat that one. how are you today? i'm good. i like coffee. and bean sprouts. you probablly dont know what those are. that is when a jet plane crashes into aborted bean fetus, which lands in a nuclear war zone and grows into a beautiful ballerina! hooray! then you stirfry it. and buddha rejoices. the world is full of calm until peter jackson looks at kim jong il's hair and makes a movie about it staring nicole kidman as a porn star and my right sock as the hair. the movie gets a huge reputation before release, but millions are dissapointed when they realize that there is actually a plot and they have to pay attention. they revolt and pop the US secret supply of kettle corn, killing dick cheney, who is brought back to life with botox and chicken livers, creating a super human power who cannot be defeated! the world is in chaos as dick runs the world and eats small children for breakfast. but luckily he is killed by his one weakness: constipation. thank you, thank you! here's my buisness card! call me for your next bat mitzvah!.......wtf ?

TEH ENDING

[Schizzy]

Wowza!  You can be my nightmare anytime Fred.

[Schizzy]

Reminds me of that time the frog ate that carcass of oatmeal and nearly blessed its backpack.  I can just see it now: even the purple monkey oblivious to the new insights of a carnal pineapple Armagedeon.  Almost twisted St. Friday into a dizzy that day, for the trainwreck truly knew what it was doing.  Damn hazard therapy.  Gotta love it.  Funny how people wonder if zombies are ever really truly dead.  Especially in the pit of the snake God: Flowerpuff Rodentia.  Never knew those Joneses.  I could outpipe them another day or then... or zen... that zen... Funny who the Troll flows, beneath the bathtub tiles we hide.  We seek, only to find the idiot God of piss ants.  Are we all not?  "Bob" haunts me in the mirror.  "Eris" haunts me in bed.  Gotta love the innuendo of future times already gone by into beauty... of nonsense that is.  Pure nonsense.  Or is it?  Rodent.

[Baron Von Stevenstein]

this storie makes me happie on teh inside

[Rev Thwack]

Fred, you and I need to get together sometime to write a book of children's bedtime stories.

[Fizzwitz Glorypoop]

I would so buy a book written by Fred.

[Fizzwitz Glorypoop]

And Thwack, too. Though I've never read any of his writing.

[Rev Thwack]

look further back in the literate chaotic archives for my little storytime posts.

[Schizzy]

I love Fred (with a gun to my head).

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

hehehe >=)
good plans

[LMNO]

for children and whatnot!

THE GREAT STORY OF ...Um.....STUFF

once upon a time there was a llama........llama is a funny word...llama llama llama llama llama llama llama! heh heh. pantaloons is also funny, but takes more time to type so i will not repeat that one. how are you today? i'm good. i like coffee. and bean sprouts. you probablly dont know what those are. that is when a jet plane crashes into aborted bean fetus, which lands in a nuclear war zone and grows into a beautiful ballerina! hooray! then you stirfry it. and buddha rejoices. the world is full of calm until peter jackson looks at kim jong il's hair and makes a movie about it staring nicole kidman as a porn star and my right sock as the hair. the movie gets a huge reputation before release, but millions are dissapointed when they realize that there is actually a plot and they have to pay attention. they revolt and pop the US secret supply of kettle corn, killing dick cheney, who is brought back to life with botox and chicken livers, creating a super human power who cannot be defeated! the world is in chaos as dick runs the world and eats small children for breakfast. but luckily he is killed by his one weakness: constipation. thank you, thank you! here's my buisness card! call me for your next bat mitzvah!.......wtf ?

TEH ENDING

I would so see that movie.

LMNO
-Thinks Nicole Kidman needs to take more roles combining porn and socks-for-hair.

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

for children and whatnot!

THE GREAT STORY OF ...Um.....STUFF

once upon a time there was a llama........llama is a funny word...llama llama llama llama llama llama llama! heh heh. pantaloons is also funny, but takes more time to type so i will not repeat that one. how are you today? i'm good. i like coffee. and bean sprouts. you probablly dont know what those are. that is when a jet plane crashes into aborted bean fetus, which lands in a nuclear war zone and grows into a beautiful ballerina! hooray! then you stirfry it. and buddha rejoices. the world is full of calm until peter jackson looks at kim jong il's hair and makes a movie about it staring nicole kidman as a porn star and my right sock as the hair. the movie gets a huge reputation before release, but millions are dissapointed when they realize that there is actually a plot and they have to pay attention. they revolt and pop the US secret supply of kettle corn, killing dick cheney, who is brought back to life with botox and chicken livers, creating a super human power who cannot be defeated! the world is in chaos as dick runs the world and eats small children for breakfast. but luckily he is killed by his one weakness: constipation. thank you, thank you! here's my buisness card! call me for your next bat mitzvah!.......wtf ?

TEH ENDING

Someone needs to start writing children's books.

[hooplala]

I love this story.

[Toots]

dick cheney, who is brought back to life with botox and chicken livers, creating a super human power who cannot be defeated! the world is in chaos as dick runs the world and eats small children for breakfast. TEH ENDING

This is a true story.

I would also go to see that movie. Can we replace Nicole Kidman with Rene Zellweger? She is great at gaining/dropping weight for movies, and judging by the food themes in this feature she seems to be a great fit.

[East Coast Hustle]

hell no!

Nicole Kidman is infinitely more horrifying, due to her size 27 head being situated precariously on top of her size zero body, giving her the appearance of being some horribly mutated carnivorous bird-thing.