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The meaning of life, Frosted Flakes, and other such nonsense

Started by Slithis, June 12, 2006, 01:53:07 AM

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Slithis

June 12, 2006, 01:53:07 AM
I'm sure you're all familar with the Bible. You know, big book, black, lots of words, etc. It's believed by some to be completely infallible and hold great truths, prophecies, and have funny stories about whales and what have you. Keep in mind the following passages were taken from different translations (but all of them are "real" and in no way made up... www.biblegateway.com for reference).

If: John 4:8
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
And: Corinthians 13:4
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous. Love is not proud and does not boast.
And: Exodus 20:5
You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me(...)
And: John 7:18
The person who speaks from his own mind only wants to be great himself. But the person whom God has sent wants to show that God is great. That person is true. He is not a bad man.
And: Matthew 19:17
Jesus said, `Why do you ask me about what is good? Only God is good. If you want to live for ever, you must keep God's laws.'
Then: God doesn't exist, love doesn't exist, and Frosted Flakes do not exist because they are more than good (better than god) and Grrrrrrrrrreat. Obviously, Frosted Flakes DO exist, which makes them better than God (assuming He does exist) OR they make Frosted Flakes God. Tony the Tiger is obviously a reference to Jesus Christ, a prophet letting all know how wonderful Frosted Flakes are. So how can we get closer to God? The grocery store, of course! We're even (traditionally) given Sunday off so we can GO to the grocery store! Flakey goodness makes a great body, and milk, like blood, is thicker than water. Some may argue that Tony the Tiger came long after the New Testament and can in no way be Jesus. Well then, I say to you: The NEW Testament came long after the OLD ONE! Praise the Flakes, for they are Frosted and good! Let us cast out those sinful Raisin Bran heretics and take back God's bowl! I'd really like to reveal more secrets to you all, and possibly write a book about it, but the Romans (Kellog) would probably crucify me.

Well? Did I blow your mind or what?
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

B_M_W

#1
June 12, 2006, 03:12:07 AM
It was....slightly amusing. But no mind blowing.

We eat this kind of schtick for breakfast, us jaded discordians, that is.

Just sayin'.
One by one, we break the sheep from their Iron Bar Prisons and expand their imaginations, make them think for themselves. In turn, they break more from their prisons. Eventually, critical mass is reached. Our key word: Resolve. Evangelize with compassion and determination. And realize that there will be few in the beginning. We are hand picking our successors. They are the future of Discordianism. Let us guide our future with intelligence.

     --Reverse Brainwashing: A Guide http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9801.0

6.5 billion Buddhas walking around.

99.xxxxxxx% forgot they are Buddha.

Slithis

#2
June 12, 2006, 12:06:09 PM
Hmmm, your mind is like a closed plastic bag, it only scuttles along the sidewalk a bit when the wind picks up. My mind/bag (two words that are completely interchangable), being as open as it is, got picked up by the wind and blown off into the sky. It must be the realization that I am a thrall to the Flakes and the Tiger is my guide.
Maybe you have a "great truth" that I didn't hear about. Care to enlighten me of your ways?
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

All Rights Reserved

#3
June 12, 2006, 12:43:57 PM
my bag is really big and shiny for serious

LMNO

#4
June 12, 2006, 01:01:17 PM
Juxtaposing the new testament with the old testament is a cheap dodge.



But the Frosted Flakes riff could work, if you get just a tad more fanatical about it, and don't give away the game ("Did i blow your mind?").

B_M_W

#5
June 12, 2006, 04:35:27 PM
Quote from: SlithisHmmm, your mind is like a closed plastic bag, it only scuttles along the sidewalk a bit when the wind picks up. My mind/bag (two words that are completely interchangable), being as open as it is, got picked up by the wind and blown off into the sky. It must be the realization that I am a thrall to the Flakes and the Tiger is my guide.
Maybe you have a "great truth" that I didn't hear about. Care to enlighten me of your ways?

There is one Truth: "Think for yourself, Schmuck."

Roger would say there are two, the other being: "Don't Trust Anybody"

As Hugh would say, "We hand you enlightenment on a silver platter. Take it or leave it."

However, don't think I came down too hard on you now. It may be only amusing for me, but it could really fuck with normals minds.
One by one, we break the sheep from their Iron Bar Prisons and expand their imaginations, make them think for themselves. In turn, they break more from their prisons. Eventually, critical mass is reached. Our key word: Resolve. Evangelize with compassion and determination. And realize that there will be few in the beginning. We are hand picking our successors. They are the future of Discordianism. Let us guide our future with intelligence.

     --Reverse Brainwashing: A Guide http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9801.0

6.5 billion Buddhas walking around.

99.xxxxxxx% forgot they are Buddha.

LMNO

#6
June 12, 2006, 04:42:16 PM
Also, "Everything is True; Nothing is Permitted".

B_M_W

#7
June 12, 2006, 04:47:00 PM
Quote from: LMNOAlso, "Everything is True; Nothing is Permitted".


Wait, did I read that right?  :lol:
One by one, we break the sheep from their Iron Bar Prisons and expand their imaginations, make them think for themselves. In turn, they break more from their prisons. Eventually, critical mass is reached. Our key word: Resolve. Evangelize with compassion and determination. And realize that there will be few in the beginning. We are hand picking our successors. They are the future of Discordianism. Let us guide our future with intelligence.

     --Reverse Brainwashing: A Guide http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=9801.0

6.5 billion Buddhas walking around.

99.xxxxxxx% forgot they are Buddha.

LMNO

#8
June 12, 2006, 04:59:20 PM
Heh.




LMNO
-keeping people on their toes.

Slithis

#9
June 12, 2006, 08:37:58 PM
I think the Bible, much like the Principia Discordia, was originally a "is it a religion or is it a joke" that a lot of people took too seriously. The fact that it is fallible is more than enough evidence to, at the very least, take it light heartedly without fear of being intolerant.
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

Felix

#10
June 13, 2006, 03:19:08 AM
I wouldn't say we're jaded so much as our minds have blown so much that we don't even bat an eye at mind-wrenching paradox, surrealist humor, or sophisticated bible criticism.  It's not so much that we don't think much of your piece, au contraire I like it.

But we're a little harder to blow away than that.  :wink: It's nothing we haven't gone through some stage of development that included some degree of tolerance to it.

Slithis

#11
June 13, 2006, 01:18:11 PM
The part where your mind has been blown is when you realize that God has been so close to you and filling your body for years with carbohydrated goodness.
The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
Moves on: nor all your Piety nor Wit
Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
Nor all your Tears wash out a Word of it.

Maharishi Miyagi Yoda

#12
June 13, 2006, 03:26:32 PM
Quote from: LMNOAlso, "Everything is True; Nothing is Permitted".
That's about the funniest thing I've seen all week.
Responsibility Matters.

LMNO

#13
June 13, 2006, 03:30:43 PM
Thanks, but you should really get out more...

The Good Reverend Roger

#14
June 14, 2006, 01:54:12 AM
Quote from: LMNO
and don't give away the game ("Did i blow your mind?").



Fucking


TGRR,
Has had mis mind blown by professionals.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.
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