Thinking Outside the Bob

[vexaph0d]

IT HAS BEEN POSITED, by intellectual non-conformists and other bad apples, that our modern society is a great big electric orgy of social engineering.  Our lives are little more than fodder for the Machine™, and as we are led like sheep to the slaughter, the laughter of the murdering bastards behind the controls come faded across our airways in the form of radio jingles and cheap made-for-tv movies.  This enormous Conspiracy, whether perpetrated by a Reptilian Agenda or just an entertaining side-effect of our own collective apathy, is usually characterized as being a generally bad thing, something to cast off and wake up from.  A reason to take to the hills and live like an ape in the Appalachians, or take to the Internet and live like an ape on a forty-two lane superhighway.  Either way, the prescribed remedy usually has a lot to do with flinging shit at somebody, and very little to do adequate description of the problem, let alone any kind of viable Solution™.

I realize that today there are a lot of reasons to believe this horseshit.  Everybody feels trapped in an endless barrage of workdays punctuated by occasional off-days long enough to get you wondering if there's anything better, and short enough to keep you from finding out for sure.  I could just as easily throw away the mortgage, trade in the car for a plane ticket, and find a brand new daily grind in the Bahamas. But it isn't the grind that's killing me, it isn't the fact that there always seems to be some kind of grind, or the false hope that is my decaying 401(k) plan.  I'm not being held against my will, in bondage to some faceless corporate Armageddon; and waking up in the morning doesn't make me feel like  my life is Music From and Inspired by the Motion Picture Groundhog Day.

This is our Spruce Goose, and maybe this bitch won't fly farther than 100 yards at a time, but this machine has been under construction for a few millennia now and we're all the pilot.  It comes complete, prepackaged, and individually wrapped.  And why?  Well, for our convenience.  It is convenient, after all, and it is convenience that everybody wants these days.  And those days too, there just wasn't much to go around then.  It even has built-in pressure relief valves, and that's what a lot of people around here are for.  These Non-Sequitur Elite can make a pretty loud whistling sound, but invariably, the only thing that ever actually escapes this Machine™ is their own hot air.

You might be a poorly-oiled cog somewhere in the big stinking guts of our eternal merry-go-round – say, a street sweeper bitching about the due-date of his next alimony check; or you might be suburbanite cubical filler bitching about the state of Everything in General™ (and everyone else's lack of concern) because you can't be bothered to give a shit about anybody but your ego.  Either way you're serving a purpose, and like it or not that purpose is reinforcing the Machine™.

What the fuck did I spill four paragraphs full of bullshit for?  I'm not saying anything that hasn't already been drilled into your postmodern brain for 25 years.  And neither are you.  Just saying.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

9/10.

The only flaw is that there IS NO "outside the "Bob"".

[vexaph0d]

maybe not, but you never know when those lab technicians from the catchy word play brigade are watching.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

maybe not, but you never know when those lab technicians from the catchy word play brigade are watching.

Then you should post something about having 4 testicles.

[Dell Ray]

To Peripheral Robert:  It is said, " If you can see the problem, you're half way to the solution".  I understand your despondence over "the machine", aka "the man" and the marriage of big business, organized religion and our much loved government--bflaft!  Greyface has stained the hearts of Western civilization and there's no reason why we can't throw a wrench in the works, or a rock at their glass houses, or even play "Sink-it" with their heads.  Mabe you ought to listen to "Alice's Restaurant" one more time.  The movement that was born in the '60 where the Principia was conceived is alive and well, percolating in their panty patches...and eventually, when the time is just right, the truly righteous rash makers will wield our heinous impetigo (led by our leader, "Heinous Anus") and smash their beliefs into microscopic pieces and send the tyrannical twits back to the Hell they came from.

That's why you have been chosen by Eris to do something about it.  Perhaps you could start with the prescribed "Turkey Curse".

I recently walked into the office of a public school official because I was disenchanted with some of his lunatic rantings turned standard of operations.  After trying to reason with his Greyface mentality, I quickly realized that the discussion would end in no other fashion but win/lose...so I took the high ground in my frustration and attacked with the Turkey Curse.  I left him fefuddled,  And I felt a lot better!

You can't reason with "Big Brother", "The Machine", or any other self-righteous-sons-of Greyface.   Stay the course, dent their armor, and eventually their armor will rust from the tears they create by bringing others down to their level so they can feel better about their wormy-excrement-eating existence!

Damn the potatoes!  Full speed ahead!

[Thurnez Isa]

I took the high ground in my frustration and attacked with the Turkey Curse.  I left him fefuddled

I bet he was 

[Dell Ray]

I didn't stick around to find out...he did have a stupid look on his face when I turned tail and exited stage right.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

so I took the high ground in my frustration and attacked with the Turkey Curse.  I left him fefuddled,  And I felt a lot better!

My God.  You're a retard.

[Dell Ray]

Right on dude!  Never in the history of man has a society lived in the relative luxury as we do.  Hell, Kings didn't have it as well as us.  And if someone wants to move to Canada and get lost in the wilderness...then so long!...more fodder for the beasties!

I appreciate your words and it would seem that identifying the problem and then constructively trying to do something about it is the best solution.  I guess what we need to introspectively consider is whether we want to try to work toward a solution or get caught up in and be part of the problem. 

[Dell Ray]

so I took the high ground in my frustration and attacked with the Turkey Curse.  I left him fefuddled,  And I felt a lot better!

My God.  You're a retard.

Dear Roger,
Yes, I was identified as an individual with "special needs" when I was young.  Teachers MADE me write with my right hand when I wanted to write with my left which exacerbated my problems.  My mother cried at the end of my first year of school when she found out my teacher spoke with a southern accent and had a speech impediment...and I didn't understand a frikkin' word she uttered!  I am a right brained, left handed individual (from a clinical point of view) who lost out on the analytical side but made up on the creative side for my dysfunctions.  I was raised before the system had a chance to analyze and classify people with these kinds of problems (my parents wouldn't have been able to afford such commodities anyway), and everyone that had lots of energy was prescribed ritalin (which I never took).

When I was young, I was spat upon, bullied, had the crap beat out of me (to the point where I ended up in the hospital one time) and I have tried to learn from the negative experiences in my life.  Hell, the way I look at it... because I wasn't born rich, attractive, smart or even "normal", I have been blessed with the knowledge that I am no better than anyone else, and I never will be...BUT HEAR ME NOW!!...IT IS MY EXPERIENCE THAT THOSE PEOPLE THAT I CROSS PATHS WITH IN THIS LIFE THAT ARE DISCONTENTED, IGNORANT AND DISPARAGING OF THOSE OF US THAT ARE TRULY DIFFERENT, are trying to justify their own sad and pathetic existence.  Those of us who try to hurt others both physically or verbally, are just trying to bring others down to their level.  If you don't like my style of writing or my point of view, then don't read my words.

Can I make myself more clear?

Sincerely,

"The Retard"     

[Cain]

Or Roger was trying to say the Turky Curse is bullshit and not very funny at that. 

[Scribbly]

...yeah, I'm guessing option number 2.

The Turkey Curse is only likely to make things worse in the long run, if you think about it, especially when used on authority figures.

[Cain]

And its not funny.  If you're going to get in trouble, make it worthwhile.  For example, why get expelled for calling a Professor a dick when you can just photshop his face into porn and distribute the leaflets over the campus (for example.  I would never do that)

[Random Probability]

so I took the high ground in my frustration and attacked with the Turkey Curse.  I left him fefuddled,  And I felt a lot better!

My God.  You're a retard.

Dear Roger,
Yes, Can I make myself more clear?
Sincerely,
The Retard

fixed.

[East Coast Hustle]

ho-lee shit.

funniest thread EVAR.

ECH,
wonders where we can find more of these asstards