Difficult Choices 9: Sidekick

[Kimmy Gibbler]

frankly, I think all those choices are pretty sweet

Bard:  No.  That's called "evidence".

Imp:  My mind gets me in enough trouble as it is.

Talking Horse:  I'm not overly fond of uncooked horse.  Plus they are too high maintainence.

Frat Boys:  Perfect patsies.  I've always wanted goons.

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

oh yeah?

welll...

[Payne]

[hunter s.durden]

I have chosen the bard, because I've recently thought about getting a herald so people can practice their bowing.

I love songs about me.

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

can i be your bard and sing about how much you suck? 

[hunter s.durden]

 

Isn't it past your bed time?

Maybe.

Plus: Cram is correct. More complicated rules are more win.

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

Isn't it past your bed time?

Maybe.

Plus: Cram is correct. More complicated rules are more win.

no wai.
its the old bearded folk who go to bed now.
like you!

[hunter s.durden]

You too with the old....
I might have to take a poll...

[Cramulus]

no wai.
its the old bearded folk who go to bed now.
like you!

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

flying ham twatbog = second best thing i have ever been called

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

Super chill horse = only viable option

[Triple Zero]

i've GMed the "kobolds ate my baby" system a few times. it's really easy and fast to set up, and the rules are really simple. you just throw a bunch of d6es, and it doesn't really matter because kobolds usually fail at life anyway.

it's got two drawbacks:

- just like with the old thac0, you must roll low to hit, but high for damage. this is confusing and unnecessary and should be turned around.

- the rulebook is shit. the excuse is probably that it's a "beer & pretzels game" and you shouldn't worry too much about the rules and rather improvise. that's cool, but the rulebook is so shitty that this still doesn't fully excuse the shittyness. it's written entirely in uppercase in some cartoonish font, with no bold or italic type to distinguish game terms from the semi-funnay ramblings, which are interspersed through all the text and actual rules are often mentioned halfway a paragraph. this makes it impossible to quickly look something up.

the bright side is that the rules are really that simple and i can (and will) probably summarize them in about 4 pages of text if i leave out all the crap.

[AFK]

I chose Bard.  Why?

Two words.

Musical Puns. 

I win!

[P3nT4gR4m]

Bards...

Bravely bold Sir Cybin rode forth from Camelot
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Cybin
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Cybin
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And all his limbs hacked and mangled, brave Sir Cybin
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off and his penis...
He is brave Sir Cybin,
Brave Sir Cybin who...
To fight and...............
Brave Sir Cybin ran away
Bravely, ran away...away...
When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Yes, brave Sir Cybin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely talking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat
Bravest of the brave, Sir Cybin

[Darth Cupcake]

Bards...

Bravely bold Sir Cybin rode forth from Camelot
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Cybin
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Cybin
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away
And all his limbs hacked and mangled, brave Sir Cybin
His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burnt off and his penis...
He is brave Sir Cybin,
Brave Sir Cybin who...
To fight and...............
Brave Sir Cybin ran away
Bravely, ran away...away...
When danger reared its ugly head
He bravely turned his tail and fled
Yes, brave Sir Cybin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out
Bravely talking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat
Bravest of the brave, Sir Cybin

*cackle*

Just beware for when I invade Scotland. Then you won't be so brave! Grrrr! I am fierce and scary!