Before They Were Stars: Empress Theodora I

[Suu]

I found this excerpt and couldn't resist posting it.

This is written by Procopius, who wasn't exactly her greatest fan.

"Never was a woman so completely abandoned to pleasure. Many times Theodora
[before her "gentrification"] would banquet with ten young men who had a passion
for fornication...after exhausting them she would go to their attendants (by now
more than thirty) and copulate with them as well in an futile effort to satisfy her
unquenchable lust...Although she made ample use of the three apertures Nature
gave her body, she complained her nipples needed openings to attempt intercourse
there as well...In the theater she would lie naked and spread herself out, having
trained hungry geese to pick off grain sprinkled by slaves over her private parts..."

[Cainad (dec.)]

 

[LMNO]

That's my kind of woman!

[Suu]

That's my kind of woman!

I had a feeling you'd enjoy this one.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Awesome!

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

That's what happens when you grow up in theater.

[Suu]

Especially early Medieval theater.

She became a cunning, manipulative bitch though once Justinian married her. Rawr.

[Bebek Sincap Ratatosk]

Especially early Medieval theater.

She became a cunning, manipulative bitch though once Justinian married her. Rawr.

QFT... in fact without her, the Byzantine empire might have ended up with a very different looking history. Wasn't Justinian about to abdicate the throne at one point?

[Suu]

Especially early Medieval theater.

She became a cunning, manipulative bitch though once Justinian married her. Rawr.

QFT... in fact without her, the Byzantine empire might have ended up with a very different looking history. Wasn't Justinian about to abdicate the throne at one point?

Yeah. She basically told him to put up, shut up, and bend over. Aside from being the emperor most known for commissioning the building of the Hagia Sophia and like another 20 some odd churches in Constantinople and really create what we know as Byzantium, he was a fucking overly pious pussy and wouldn't do anything without God's permission it seems. Well, Theodora kinda went, "Fuck the man upstairs, I'M YOUR GOD." And that stuff stopped pretty quick.

Unlike Western Rome though, the Eastern Christian Rome had a way of not controlling their territories as easily (or maybe as harshly) so Justinian's Byzantium, which was almost all of the Mediterranean, didn't last but for a few centuries. By the time the Ottomans came in, all that was really left was Constantinople and parts of Greece.

565AD:



1453AD:

       IT'S A TRAP!                                                    IT'S A TRAP!
       \                                                                          /

[Richter]

PRIME Drunken Dissertation material. 

[Suu]

Between Justinian and Theodora or the AIMA Prophecy, Byzantine History is ripe for the drinking. Paranoid, Super-Christian effeminate glittering peoples, they were.