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Testamonial:  And i have actually gone to a bar and had a bouncer try to start a fight with me on the way in. I broke his teeth out of his fucking mouth and put his face through a passenger side window of a car.

Guess thats what the Internet was build for, pussy motherfuckers taking shit in safety...

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The Drunken Rant Thread

Started by lumberjim, February 14, 2009, 03:56:30 AM

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lumberjim

February 14, 2009, 03:56:30 AM
shit balls.
Hi!  I'm a stalker!  Disagree with me, and I'll follow you around for MONTHS!

Akara

#1
February 14, 2009, 04:39:28 AM
Wow, that's really compelling.
It's like a palsy victim doing brain surgery with a pipe wrench.

Murmur

#2
February 14, 2009, 07:39:03 AM
A true literary genius, that Jim.
Tolerable Terror for Toddlers Legionaire, Nixon Division™

"Onlookers will be horrified and amazed by the sheer volume of fluid."--TGRR

"SaraLee, I say unto you!  If ye have a cake and halve it, and then halve it yet again, you would have four quarters and yet still not have a dollar.  Eat of that cake, for it is cake which is NOT cake, which ye may have half a mind to have at a reasonable price, yet in indecision achieve satori with said stale Moon Pie.  That's what you get when YOU FUCK WITH US." - DOUR

Akara

#3
February 14, 2009, 07:43:24 AM
Dk finally has some competition!
It's like a palsy victim doing brain surgery with a pipe wrench.

The Good Reverend Roger

#4
February 14, 2009, 07:44:43 AM
Quote from: Akara on February 14, 2009, 07:43:24 AM
Dk finally has some competition!

A veritable clash of the titans.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Akara

#5
February 14, 2009, 07:49:10 AM
they better be careful. the gods did after all kill the titans... but what do I know  :?

I bet DK is the one who at his own children.
It's like a palsy victim doing brain surgery with a pipe wrench.

The Good Reverend Roger

#6
February 14, 2009, 07:52:02 AM
Quote from: Akara on February 14, 2009, 07:49:10 AM
they better be careful. the gods did after all kill the titans... but what do I know  :?

I bet DK is the one who at his own children.

Well, they couldn't possibly meet his standards.  There can only be so much genius in the world at one time.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Akara

#7
February 14, 2009, 08:01:13 AM
I bet when DK was born you could literally hear the sucking taking place from all of the genius being transferred in to him.
It's like a palsy victim doing brain surgery with a pipe wrench.

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
February 14, 2009, 08:03:32 AM
Quote from: Akara on February 14, 2009, 08:01:13 AM
I bet when DK was born you could literally hear the sucking taking place from all of the genius being transferred in to him.

That's why God killed Einstein.  He was making room.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Akara

#9
February 14, 2009, 08:05:21 AM
It's all so clear now!  :eek:
It's like a palsy victim doing brain surgery with a pipe wrench.

Pariah

#10
February 14, 2009, 06:53:01 PM
Didn't one of the titan's cut off his balls.
That's DK and Jim's first test. Who will do it! NOBODY KNOWS!
Play safe! Ski only in a clockwise direction! Let's all have fun together!

Kai

#11
February 14, 2009, 10:39:09 PM
Quote from: Jim on February 14, 2009, 03:56:30 AM
shit balls.

You know when they're coming for you. The giant glassine wings will be obvious and trembling in in the distance, sun glistening off the bright chitinous appendages. You know that you don't have long, cause their prismatic eyes don't miss much, especially with eyes that large...

You see, insects once ruled this planet rather openly, a long time ago when the land was barely colonized, and the first mosses and ferns were drifting up out of the saltwater into the bright sun. The insects were king, because they had no one else to compete with. Nothing else dared wander out of the water, they weren't ready yet.

500 million years later the insects with their complex social societies have arrived at an impasse, humans, and indeed vertebrates in general, are in the way of their total domination of the planet. In secrecy and in deep underground colonies they are growing. The insect form is mutable, but has some drawbacks; most arthropods would fail to breath with the size these ones have reached. They have overcome that limitation.

The divine vision of the maya spoke not of a human motivated apocalypse in the year we will call 2012 AD. Rather, they foretold the coming of these anchient kinds, returning from their exile to once again rule to the lands of this planet.

You will not have a second warning.

You can run, but you cannot hide for long.
If there is magic on this planet, it is contained in water. --Loren Eisley, The Immense Journey

Her Royal Majesty's Chief of Insect Genitalia Dissection
Grand Visser of the Six Legged Class
Chanticleer of the Holometabola Clade Church, Diptera Parish

Murmur

#12
February 15, 2009, 07:18:32 AM
Kai wins this thread!
Tolerable Terror for Toddlers Legionaire, Nixon Division™

"Onlookers will be horrified and amazed by the sheer volume of fluid."--TGRR

"SaraLee, I say unto you!  If ye have a cake and halve it, and then halve it yet again, you would have four quarters and yet still not have a dollar.  Eat of that cake, for it is cake which is NOT cake, which ye may have half a mind to have at a reasonable price, yet in indecision achieve satori with said stale Moon Pie.  That's what you get when YOU FUCK WITH US." - DOUR

Jasper

#13
February 15, 2009, 07:28:24 AM
That was possibly the most entertaining thing I've ever read of Kai's.

P3nT4gR4m

#14
February 15, 2009, 01:33:57 PM
I couldn't help imagining it being read in Vincent Price's voice, like the intro to Alice Cooper's Black Widow  :lulz:

I'm up to my arse in Brexit Numpties, but I want more.  Target-rich environments are the new sexy.
Not actually a meat product.
Ass-Kicking & Foot-Stomping Ancient Master of SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
Awful and Bent Behemothic Results of Last Night's Painful Squat.
High Altitude Haggis-Filled Sex Bucket From Beyond Time and Space.
Internet Monkey Person of Filthy and Immoral Pygmy-Porn Wart Contagion
Octomom Auxillary Heat Exchanger Repairman
walking the fine line line between genius and batshit fucking crazy

"computation is a pattern in the spacetime arrangement of particles, and it's not the particles but the pattern that really matters! Matter doesn't matter." -- Max Tegmark
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