Law of Conservation of BEARD

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Space Cowboy breaks beard physics by having both a soul patch and a beard. What I mean by this is that his soul patch is noticeably distinct from his beard, and longer. It's also a different color, because that's just how he rolls.

He should braid it.  Or spike it straight out with lime and impale fruits or rodents on it like the Gauls would do.

Yes! I will advise.

[Eater of Clowns]

I have had BEARD and I have had no BEARD.  No BEARD was unfortunate, and BEARD was scraggly.  I have found the goatee, and in doing so have found myself.  The goatee is excellent.

[Cainad (dec.)]

I belong to the school of Obnoxious Sideburns plus an Ew Gross What The Hell Is That On Your Chin. Full BEARD is not feasible, and my 'Stache, I have decided, is inadequate.

[Ari]

Germanic Pornographical Chin Curtain I'll have to review pics of from home.

Also, while I'll agree full beard has a cetain magic, it's not worth suffering wearing scraggly in - between bits over.  Give it time though, it took mine 3 weeks to a month before it really had a good appearance / volume to it. 

I will dispense free beard advice within this thread.

post a clean shaven pic, and a full growth pic, I shall assess your beardage.

last years spagbook post (clean shave)
recent spagbook post (transition)
today's state of beard-limbo

you can see the beginnings in june and the late july / early august result. been trimming to even out the lines, but I have weird facial hair of sorts. by now I gave it enough time to get an idea of which parts are just not meant to ever reach proper beardedness. part of me doesn't care cause it's just how my body is - no suffering involved whatsoever. other part wishes to prevent looking like a scraggly tard.

dilemma: cheek bone beardedness is kinda thin in the middle - so I contemplate of going with sideburns / goatee but I really like the full line from ear to chin. definitely not going back to a full shave.

as for the germanic porn stache... it certainly has the potential to be a proper "schnauzbart" as it's called in germany. but I lack the coverage downwards to connect it with the chin. which is kind of a bummer but I can't help my genes. also "schnauzbart" literally translates into snoutbeard and I don't know if I feel like running around with that pig symbolism on my face. in sweden it's seen as the beard of german porn stars though. brains are weird.

chin area is growing well, not taking that off. contemplating of ridding my face of the porn stache to increase sexay / minimize anti-sexay / ... whichever way you wanna look at it. Maybe breaking the ear-chin line due to face-pube alert?

Please to find Endlösung for the stache-question and mayhap assert cheek-status before the evening.
Advice oh Mighty Spags?

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

YOU ARE BETTER SHAVEN IMO

[Brotep]

What of sideburns, o Bearded One?

I can't see them with you doing Crowley's "OH GOD DADDY MAKE IT STOP" pose.

That is the face of Pee Wee Herman, Bearded One.  And my inquiry was to the nature of sideburns in general.  Are they, too, conserved?

[Richter]

What of sideburns, o Bearded One?

I can't see them with you doing Crowley's "OH GOD DADDY MAKE IT STOP" pose.

That is the face of Pee Wee Herman, Bearded One.  And my inquiry was to the nature of sideburns in general.  Are they, too, conserved?

I don't see why not.

[Richter]

What of sideburns, o Bearded One?

I can't see them with you doing Crowley's "OH GOD DADDY MAKE IT STOP" pose.

That is the face of Pee Wee Herman, Bearded One.  And my inquiry was to the nature of sideburns in general.  Are they, too, conserved?

Soon after my last reply, the bottom fell out of my patience with life.  This is the result:

FUCK YOU YOU GODDMN BEARDTESTING TAINTLACK!  I CAN'T STAND SHITHEADS WHO TRY TO CAUSE CONFUSION BY ASKING POINTLESS QUESTIONS.
"aRE MY SIDEBURNS A BEARD?", WELL SHIT, LISTEN TO YOURSELF, THEY SURE AS FUCK AIN'T CALLED BEARDBURNS! 

FUN FACT
WHAT'S BETWEEN PEEEWEES ARMS IS BEARD.  IF THEY'RE UNCONNECTED, THEY AIN'T PART OF SAID BEARD.  MUCH LIKE THE PORTIONS OF THE RHINELAND WHICH ARE NO LONGER PART OF GERMANY.

I NOW DUB THOSE THINGS ON THE SIDE OF YOUR HEAD "LITTLE SUSANS"  iF YOU WANT SIDEBURNS BACK, ASK CAINAD, HE'S GOT MY BLESSING TO ISSUE LICENSES.

[Darth Cupcake]

Vagina-beard: Conservate?

[LMNO]

"Taintlack"?

[LMNO]

Vagina-beard: Conservate?

BRAZILIAN.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What of sideburns, o Bearded One?

I can't see them with you doing Crowley's "OH GOD DADDY MAKE IT STOP" pose.

That is the face of Pee Wee Herman, Bearded One.  And my inquiry was to the nature of sideburns in general.  Are they, too, conserved?

Soon after my last reply, the bottom fell out of my patience with life.  This is the result:

FUCK YOU YOU GODDMN BEARDTESTING TAINTLACK!  I CAN'T STAND SHITHEADS WHO TRY TO CAUSE CONFUSION BY ASKING POINTLESS QUESTIONS.
"aRE MY SIDEBURNS A BEARD?", WELL SHIT, LISTEN TO YOURSELF, THEY SURE AS FUCK AIN'T CALLED BEARDBURNS! 

FUN FACT
WHAT'S BETWEEN PEEEWEES ARMS IS BEARD.  IF THEY'RE UNCONNECTED, THEY AIN'T PART OF SAID BEARD.  MUCH LIKE THE PORTIONS OF THE RHINELAND WHICH ARE NO LONGER PART OF GERMANY.

I NOW DUB THOSE THINGS ON THE SIDE OF YOUR HEAD "LITTLE SUSANS"  iF YOU WANT SIDEBURNS BACK, ASK CAINAD, HE'S GOT MY BLESSING TO ISSUE LICENSES.

[Richter]

Vagina-beard: Conservate?

Pubes in general are conservated also, but at an inverse ratio due to lack of equivalent cultural convention, and double the observable population.
Much like beard, though, it function on a simialr logic of "I wonder how it would look if I....."

Vagina-beard: Conservate?

BRAZILIAN.

Honestly, however I answer can't beat this.  Bit extreme though.

[Darth Cupcake]

Much like beard, though, it function on a simialr logic of "I wonder how it would look if I....."

Interestingly enough, I've been sitting here in my state of exhaustion delirium thinking to myself, "I wonder if I could shave a nice mustache out of my pubes... Hmmm... And then, over time, I could go all Salvador Dali with it. See if I can poke out dude's eyes with my vag-stache o' doom... Hmmm..."

[AFK]

Obviously handlebars are the way to go.