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WHAT THE FUCK

Started by Mesozoic Mister Nigel, October 28, 2009, 12:25:10 AM

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Mesozoic Mister Nigel

October 28, 2009, 12:25:10 AM
:crankey:

So a couple of weeks ago I got a Multnomah County tax statement wherein I was assessed a fee plus a percentage for late payment of my refund. That they owed me.

Just now, I was taking pictures when I was interrupted by the doorbell. Since I was already downstairs, I checked my mail. In my mail was the following letter:

Dear Citimortgage Customer(s):

Or records indicate your mortgage payment is overdue and we have not yet received it. A payment that is received after your due date is considered late. If you have already sent in your payment, thank you. If you have not mailed your payment, please do so today.

As of today, the total amount due is $0.00 including $0.00 in late charges, $0.00 in delinquency expense and $0.00 in other fees.

If we do not receive your payment within 30 days of the scheduled due date, we may report your account as delinquent to the credit bureaus. Late payments, missed payments, or other defaults on your account may be reflected in your credit report.

...

It's like I'm in Bizarro Land or something.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Suu

#1
October 28, 2009, 12:28:21 AM
The letter was scheduled to be generated at a certain time by computer, but when it finally got there, your payment had already been credited.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#2
October 28, 2009, 12:29:35 AM
Quote from: Suu on October 28, 2009, 12:28:21 AM
The letter was scheduled to be generated at a certain time by computer, but when it finally got there, your payment had already been credited.

Oh, OK.

The really funny thing is that my payment WASN'T late. I do e-payments, and it was so not at all late.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#3
October 28, 2009, 12:30:03 AM
BACK TO PICTURES. MUST FINISH BEFORE NIGHTFALL.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Faust

#4
October 28, 2009, 12:32:30 AM
request a letter of confirmation, signed by the manager of the bank, for a payment of $0.00 and if they refuse report them to the tax office on withholding vital documents.
Sleepless nights at the chateau

Iason Ouabache

#5
October 28, 2009, 12:32:51 AM
Send them a check for exactly $0.00; find a way to make them pay postage for it.  :lulz:
You cannot fathom the immensity of the fuck i do not give.
    \
┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#6
October 28, 2009, 12:58:39 AM
Both of those are excellent ideas.  :lulz: I considered sending them a check for $0.00 and seeing if they took it to the bank.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

The Good Reverend Roger

#7
October 28, 2009, 02:02:45 AM
Quote from: Nigel on October 28, 2009, 12:25:10 AM


It's like I'm in Bizarro Land or something.

I'm telling you, things ARE getting weirder.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

The Good Reverend Roger

#8
October 28, 2009, 02:03:12 AM
Quote from: Suu on October 28, 2009, 12:28:21 AM
The letter was scheduled to be generated at a certain time by computer, but when it finally got there, your payment had already been credited.

And so?  Finagle is still running the show, either way.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Suu

#9
October 28, 2009, 02:10:55 AM
Just sayin'. The computers are just getting too used to generating delinquency notices.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Mesozoic Mister Nigel

#10
October 28, 2009, 02:16:07 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 28, 2009, 02:02:45 AM
Quote from: Nigel on October 28, 2009, 12:25:10 AM


It's like I'm in Bizarro Land or something.

I'm telling you, things ARE getting weirder.

Yes, they are.

A lot weirder.

Earlier today I went for a walk. A mild-looking man passed me and quietly went up the steps to his house. I heard the door open, and then he howled "WOOOOOOOOO!" He closed the door, and as I walked away I could hear him through the walls, continuing to howl.

I'm about to leave for the video store. Anything can happen.
"I'm guessing it was January 2007, a meeting in Bethesda, we got a bag of bees and just started smashing them on the desk," Charles Wick said. "It was very complicated."

Richter

#11
October 28, 2009, 02:16:23 AM
I've gotten the same.  Credit card bills for $0.  
Quote from: Eater of Clowns on May 22, 2015, 03:00:53 AM
Anyone ever think about how Richter inhabits the same reality as you and just scream and scream and scream, but in a good way?   :lulz:

Friendly Neighborhood Mentat

The Good Reverend Roger

#12
October 28, 2009, 02:18:07 AM
Quote from: Nigel on October 28, 2009, 02:16:07 AM
Quote from: The Good Reverend Roger on October 28, 2009, 02:02:45 AM
Quote from: Nigel on October 28, 2009, 12:25:10 AM


It's like I'm in Bizarro Land or something.

I'm telling you, things ARE getting weirder.

Yes, they are.

A lot weirder.

Earlier today I went for a walk. A mild-looking man passed me and quietly went up the steps to his house. I heard the door open, and then he howled "WOOOOOOOOO!" He closed the door, and as I walked away I could hear him through the walls, continuing to howl.

I'm about to leave for the video store. Anything can happen.

Taken each apart, no one incident makes much difference.  As a group, let's just say there was a reason I started the psycho letters.
" It's just that Depeche Mode were a bunch of optimistic loveburgers."
- TGRR, shaming himself forever, 7/8/2017

"Billy, when I say that ethics is our number one priority and safety is also our number one priority, you should take that to mean exactly what I said. Also quality. That's our number one priority as well. Don't look at me that way, you're in the corporate world now and this is how it works."
- TGRR, raising the bar at work.

Suu

#13
October 28, 2009, 02:51:29 AM
I really want to publish the Psycho Letters series, by the way. I may start on that soon. Plus I could use more InDesign experience.
Sovereign Episkopos-Princess Kaousuu; Esq., Battle Nun, Bene Gesserit.
Our Lady of Perpetual Confusion; 1st Church of Discordia

"Add a dab of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it."

Sir Squid Diddimus

#14
October 28, 2009, 04:10:17 AM
Quote from: ☂Faust☂ on October 28, 2009, 12:32:30 AM
request a letter of confirmation, signed by the manager of the bank, for a payment of $0.00 and if they refuse report them to the tax office on withholding vital documents.

fucking genius

i laughed and i farted.
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