Something Fucked: The Voyage of the JJ

[Richter]

So Dad and I are having a walk around the boat works last weekend, and we pass the JJ, up on blocks for yearly repairs.

The JJ is a clean, well built and well maintained old wood lobstering boat.  A real working boat, not some useless yacht you can only waste diesel, fuck, and eat lunch on.  It's been around the harbor for years, operated by J, and even in the busiest parts of the summer, is always kept looking sharp.

"You heard he got boarded by the Environmental Police?", Dad says.

"No, what for?"

"Random Inspection.  They asked him if he had his Federal fisheries such and such picture ID.  He asked when he was supposed to have known about even HAVING one."

"So he got a fine?" 

"Nope, they just made him de - band and throw back all the lobster he had just caught."

Here we have a FINE example of the rule - driven, lawful-awful aligned mess we are working ourselves into.  A hardworking, established member of a community, gets a load of shit.  An exemplar of a traditional trade, already being harried by yuppies in motorboats who don't like how chum smells as they drink beer and waste gas, gets his day fucked up.  In the name of protecting the environment.

Not the asshole  (remember said yuppies?) who pull his traps when he's not around (NEVER do that, lobstermen will shoot you for it.)
Not some cheapass wreck of a gill netting boat with illegal equipment and a fly by night crew.

We paid for them to do this.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

What can you do?  His paperwork was not in order.  He could not explain himself.  They really had no choice, did they?  They're just doing the job that we hired them to do, that we DEMANDED they do, with more zero-tolerance-common-sense-need-not-apply legislation that we pay our legislature to justify its own existence with.

The problem with congress, Richter, is very simple.  Nobody told them when it was okay to stop writing laws.  They feel that if they don't write laws, they will lose their job.

And they're right.

J is old and busted.  Fisheries photo ID permits are new hotness.

Old and busted or new hotness...It's not a very hard decision to make.  Perhaps J can get a job at the local WalMart, as a greeter?  Someone has to make those yuppies feel wanted, after a long, hard day of throwing beer cans into the ocean.

[Richter]

I remember when doing things "By the book", was a matter of appearances.

The book way, by the rules, and unquestionably performed just SO, was how everything was done.  On paper.  ONLY on paper.  When it was needed, helping out, covering for your buddy, or when it was right, things got done differently. 

J's no threat to the environment.  They could have given him the heads up and "found no lobsters on board".

It was that way when I worked at the post office, and echoed by everyone I've know who's been military.  Things get "done" by the rules, but you go outside them when it's worthlessly complciated to follow them.

We're falling into hyper literal uselessness though.

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I remember when doing things "By the book", was a matter of appearances.

The book way, by the rules, and unquestionably performed just SO, was how everything was done.  On paper.  ONLY on paper.  When it was needed, helping out, covering for your buddy, or when it was right, things got done differently. 

J's no threat to the environment.  They could have given him the heads up and "found no lobsters on board".

It was that way when I worked at the post office, and echoed by everyone I've know who's been military.  Things get "done" by the rules, but you go outside them when it's worthlessly complciated to follow them.

We're falling into hyper literal uselessness though.

Best part is, it's only going to get worse.  Ask Cicero about that.  Or Machiavelli.

The future isn't done with you, yet.

[Elder Iptuous]

I propose that the congress be split in twain (resulting in 4 bodies, i guess 2house/2senate)
One body will be concerned with addition of legislation to our monstrosity code.
The other will be concerned with subtraction of legislation to keep it in check and maintain elegance....

[The Good Reverend Roger]

I propose that the congress be split in twain (resulting in 4 bodies, i guess 2house/2senate)
One body will be concerned with addition of legislation to our monstrosity code.
The other will be concerned with subtraction of legislation to keep it in check and maintain elegance....

I propose that anyone wanting new legislation must allow me three (3) swings at their heads with a fresh Chinook salmon weighing no less than 20 pounds.

If they are still willing and able to introduce such legislation, then have at it.