Lol, Internet

[Remington]

*Being some sort of techno-rant, inspired by my WAN course and motivated by lack of caffeine/sleep




The mouse moves.

Optical tracking systems within the mouse track the surface as it moves, converting meaningless visual data into precise electronic signals. The signals bound through the air on invisible frequencies, impressed upon a carrier wave that oscillates more than 2 billion times per second.
The signals enter the computer, are processed, and are accepted by the operating system. Their job is done.



The cursor moves.

It slides over the screen to rest on a group of blue text. Of course, the cursor does not exist: neither does the browser that the screen displays. They are an elaborate, digital lie: nothing more than a visual representation of the true processes that lurk within the computer's memory. It is a lie, but it is a useful one.



The mouse is clicked.

A new process is begun, one with a far different purpose than the others. That click signals the browser: information is needed. However, there is a problem: the information is not available. It does not reside on the computer, it is not here. It is somewhere else; it is Other. The browser assembles a peculiar piece of data: not information, but a request. The User demands data, and the User cannot be ignored. Why the User wants the data is irrevalent, it is enough that It does. Yet the data is not here, it is there. A place represented only by a number: 66.33.209.37.



The packet is released.

Fired out of the network interface with the force of a digital cannon, the long sequence of electrical pulses speed down the network cable. They are naught but small electron surges, small and insignificant pulses of voltage. Yet they are encoded: they have purpose. Direction.  
The sequence blazes through the cable in under a microsecond, encountering a strange, unknown device as the exit the copper wire. It has no name, but it has purpose: switch. The device is not intelligent, but it can make decisions: upon seeing the first parts of the sequence it recreates the pulses and fires them out a second, different port with blinding speed. Another machine follows switch, and another, and another: each growing in complexity. The pulses are now one of many in a vast flood, blazing down cables as router upon router blur past.



The packet arrives.

Here, finally, is the information requested so long ago. This place is Other, the place it was sent to. The data packet, having survived all the routers, switches, fiber networks and trans-continental carrier lines the Internet could inflict upon it, finally delivers its message. Its duty done, it is consigned to the digital abyss.



The Other responds.

Deep within the bowels of the Other, the request is received. Data is requested, data that the Other has access to. Why the User wants the data is irrevalent, it is enough that It does.
The data is gathered, and packaged. Subdivided, so that it is small enough to survive the coming journey. Thusly prepared, the requested information is fired back into the network in a fire hose of data. It blurs through the same path the original sequence did: flashing through machines and cables with inhuman speed.



The data arrives.

It pours through the computer's network port like a binary waterfall, bytes upon bytes cascading down into memory. The entire round trip has taken more than half a second: an eternity in digital reckoning. The browser seizes the data as it arrives, and begins to create a new lie.



The lie changes.

The browser reconstructs its world as it interprets the data it received into meaningful code. The screen blanks white, and milliseconds later colour splashes back in new patterns and forms. Columns and images snap into place as the browser enforces the tyranny of formatting. Interactive buttons and links become active, their functions linked to deeper secrets within the browser's code. Finally, when all is prepared and arranged, the text bursts forth. Sentences upon sentences of text burst into being, arranged into paragraphs precisely as the Other's data instructed.







The text means nothing to the browser, or even the computer. That is irrevalent, though: the User understands it. It is the reason for the browser's existence, the reason for the efforts of the Other. Signals traveled down thousands of miles of copper wire, optical fiber, and were processed by dozens of gargantuan routing machines. It took decades of research, development, and deployment by innumerable genius minds to design those signals, cables, and machines. Data crossed continents, braved the deepest depths of the ocean, and crossed the breadth of the planet quicker than the blink of an eye.



And all so you could read this page.

[Muir]

This is good.  Maybe it's just my sleep deprived brain, but I love writings like this.

[Triple Zero]

wow

[LMNO]

[Remington]

Precisely.

[Remington]

It's funny.

We've all got interconnected supercomputers that even the most insane pre 1970's sci fi writer would have had a wet cyberdream over, and we do ... this.

what we are doing now.

not saying its not GREAT because, well, shit it is, but ... ah hell I lost my point.

Bloody great story though Remmington.

inorite

We've got this gigantic, incredibly efficient high speed network that spans the entire globe... and we use it to send pictures of funny cats to each other.
And porn, of course. Lots of porn.

[Remington]

My point with the story, though, is how much people take the Internet for granted. It's very common to see people bitching about how their connection isn't FAST enough. Usually this means that their data is taking half a second/a couple seconds longer than they'd like. Give me a break! If those people knew what actually goes into getting their data from Point A to B*....

We should all be saying "HOLY SHIT IT WORKED" every time a page loads or a download finishes with no errors, but its becoming a thing you've always had there. Gigantic intercontinental networks are transferring encyclopedias worth of 1s and 0s to your computer in fractions of a section from a server located on the other side of the motherfucking planet, and you're bitching because that shit-load of data didn't get there 1/10 of a second sooner?


*Except it isn't just point A to B. It's more like A to C to G back to U over to X. X buffers your message and waits for the congestion to clear before firing it down a transcontinental oceanbed T4 carrier. The entire route is, of course, calculated on a per-hop, per-packet basis by incredibly powerful core routers.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I dunno, I think living in the future is pretty cool, so far.

[Doktor Howl]

I dunno, I think living in the future is pretty cool, so far.

This future blows chunks.

I was promised way better than this shit.  I mean, some of the gadgets we have are pretty cool and were never mentioned, but the really IMPORTANT stuff ISN'T FUCKING HERE.

[Remington]

I dunno, I think living in the future is pretty cool, so far.

This future blows chunks.

I was promised way better than this shit.  I mean, some of the gadgets we have are pretty cool and were never mentioned, but the really IMPORTANT stuff ISN'T FUCKING HERE.

Like what?

[Doktor Howl]

I dunno, I think living in the future is pretty cool, so far.

This future blows chunks.

I was promised way better than this shit.  I mean, some of the gadgets we have are pretty cool and were never mentioned, but the really IMPORTANT stuff ISN'T FUCKING HERE.

Like what?

Like space colonies.
Like flying cars.
Like household robots to do my fucking laundry.
Like zap guns.
Like Raquel Welch in a bronze brassiere.  <---

[Jasper]

Non-cubist architecture with glowy EL-wire bits. 

[Remington]

Like space colonies.

NASA's working on one, as an observation post/Mars expedition staging point.
As for civilian-grade stuff, You're going to have to wait until space elevators become feasible (actually not too long, they've got carbon fiber strands up to half the required load weights)

Like flying cars.

This is a horrible idea.
Still, though, we have already have these.

Like household robots to do my fucking laundry.

Roombas are the first step, we should see more adaptable versions within 20 years.

Like zap guns.

Tasers.
Also this.

Like Raquel Welch in a bronze brassiere.  <---

Rule 34.

[Jasper]

Like flying cars.

This is a horrible idea.
Still, though, we have already have these.

Heavier than air flying cars are a terrible idea.  What we need is a four-passenger rigid-framed aerostat.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I dunno, I think living in the future is pretty cool, so far.

This future blows chunks.

I was promised way better than this shit.  I mean, some of the gadgets we have are pretty cool and were never mentioned, but the really IMPORTANT stuff ISN'T FUCKING HERE.

DUDE, I have 600 music albums on a thing that fits in my pocket!

I bet the young people will have teleportation and eternal youth by the time our old asses are hitting the grave.