Woman Uses Jackhammer For Sex Toy: Dies

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

http://decentcommunity.com/2009/05/05/women-dies-after-using-jackhammer-as-dildo/

Is it real? Taking bets.

2:1 odds it's bullshit.

[Richter]

It COULD be a small "Home Use" model, but I'm pretty sure most SRS jakhammers need a HUGE air compressor to run, which they need to be tubed to.  Not an independent man - portable model.  They're also tough to secure. 

Not to mention the profusion of nerves around said areas.  Unless the was a case of massive trauma on the first stroke,  I'd think a person would declare "FUCKING OW", and dismount before the fatal point.
I
'm not reading that link at work, will check out later for details, but I'm calling BS at first glance.

[E.O.T.]

ALTHOUGH

          all jackhammers I've operated have been electric, I can't imagine it at all. Other than merely quakin' her clit while "casually" busting up some slabs in the back yard (was that it? Ultimate orgasm = death?). There's more or less no control over the "hammer" motion, which would make insertion totally insane/ un-fathomable. I have seen the converted sawzall sex-machine, but it requires a (fairly skilled) partner. Actually, that. How would one operate the jackammer and receive? If she could afford a good jackhammer, it would have been worth it to invest in a sex-machine. Always choose the right tool for the job for greatest success.

ALSO,

          how did this go down so that neighbors could see? Was it a performance art public suicide?

[NotPublished]

At first my eyes somehow skipped over Jackhammer, and I thought she died using a sex toy ... Then the article had a big picture of a jackhammer and I was grossed out .. how loose would she be after that?

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

From the "About" on decentcommunity.com:

Decent Community is a confluence of good times, positive attitudes, thought-provoking insights, and funny/weird shit put together for our readership's enjoyment. We intend to provide goofy, informative, sometimes truth-bending slants to incite unconventional yet well-founded perspectives.

Didn't happen. Not such place as Arndale, OK, or even an Alpara County. The awesome thing in looking it up was seeing how many other forums it had been reposted on, as if it were an actual news article.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Seriously, this is why we need to get Freepressgazette up and running!

[Doktor Howl]

From the "About" on decentcommunity.com:

Decent Community is a confluence of good times, positive attitudes, thought-provoking insights, and funny/weird shit put together for our readership's enjoyment. We intend to provide goofy, informative, sometimes truth-bending slants to incite unconventional yet well-founded perspectives.

Didn't happen. Not such place as Arndale, OK, or even an Alpara County. The awesome thing in looking it up was seeing how many other forums it had been reposted on, as if it were an actual news article.

1.  If they started this, they get mad props.

2.  "good times, positive attitudes," involves people killing themselves with giant power tools?    THESE ARE MY PEOPLE!

[Doktor Howl]

Seriously, this is why we need to get Freepressgazette up and running!

If someone builds the framework, I'll write for it.

[Cramulus]

^



Here's the things which stick out as fake to me:

First: The last line of the article:

“She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time.”

Doesn't seem like the way a real reporter would wrap up an article about somebody dying, even an absurd death.


Second: No link to the original article. Can't find one either. Everybody's citing this http://decentcommunity.com/ thread as if its a news article.


Third: can't find any other mention of Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff’s Office, the guy who supposedly reported this. As far as I can tell, the decentcommunity.com article is the source.



I think we are looking at a great piece of disinformation. The only thing it's lacking is the "moral" you tend to see in urban myths. In this case, what have we got? A horny divorcee who operates a sex toy business - an appealing image! And she needs sex so bad she fucks herself TO DEATH with an UNREASONABLY DANGEROUS OBJECT. I guess there's a moral there! Or at least a sexual-emotional hook.

[Elder Iptuous]

Well, i did use a Sybian to bust up the concrete on my driveway when it needed repairs.
and that's the TRUTH...

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

^



Here's the things which stick out as fake to me:

First: The last line of the article:

"She was a horny lady, especially after her husband moved out. My family could hear moans coming from her place all the time."

Doesn't seem like the way a real reporter would wrap up an article about somebody dying, even an absurd death.


Second: No link to the original article. Can't find one either. Everybody's citing this http://decentcommunity.com/ thread as if its a news article.


Third: can't find any other mention of Det.-Sgt. Karl Sprout of the Alpara County Sheriff's Office, the guy who supposedly reported this. As far as I can tell, the decentcommunity.com article is the source.



I think we are looking at a great piece of disinformation. The only thing it's lacking is the "moral" you tend to see in urban myths. In this case, what have we got? A horny divorcee who operates a sex toy business - an appealing image! And she needs sex so bad she fucks herself TO DEATH with an UNREASONABLY DANGEROUS OBJECT. I guess there's a moral there! Or at least a sexual-emotional hook.

Definitely. Easy enough to see right through if you're thinking critically, but it has enough "juicy" elements that it short-circuits a lot of people's critical-thinking processors... basically because they want the story to be true.

From the "About" on decentcommunity.com:

Decent Community is a confluence of good times, positive attitudes, thought-provoking insights, and funny/weird shit put together for our readership's enjoyment. We intend to provide goofy, informative, sometimes truth-bending slants to incite unconventional yet well-founded perspectives.

Didn't happen. Not such place as Arndale, OK, or even an Alpara County. The awesome thing in looking it up was seeing how many other forums it had been reposted on, as if it were an actual news article.

[Dimocritus]

Just so you know, my nickname in Alpara County is "Jackhammer-dildo." I can never return to that place again...

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

You guys are correct, it's bullshit. Completely fabricated by DC.

Fortunately for the house, no actual bets were placed.

[Brotep]

It is difficult to read the phrase  "decent community" without snickering




awesome