ITT BAD jokes.

[cavehamster]

So, Larry Lobster dies and goes to heaven.  He's given a harp, a halo, and some wings.  He petitions St Peter to be allowed to go back to earth for one more day, as his good friend Sam Clam is opening a club.

St Peter says it is OK, but he needs to be careful not to loose his things he just got.

So, he goes back, there is a tearful reunion, and then party all night at the new club.  the next day, he goes back to heaven.

St Peter says, 'did you bring your stuff?' Larry Lobster checks... halo, check!  wings... check!  harp?  oh no!

St Peter says, 'what happened to your harp?'




Larry Lobster replies, 'i left my harp in sam clam's disco'


*rimshot*

[Dr. Paes]

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=18554.0

Read Cain's joke and then tell me you're sure this is the kind of thread you want to be starting.

[Freeky]

So, Larry Lobster dies and goes to heaven.  He's given a harp, a halo, and some wings.  He petitions St Peter to be allowed to go back to earth for one more day, as his good friend Sam Clam is opening a club.

St Peter says it is OK, but he needs to be careful not to loose his things he just got.

So, he goes back, there is a tearful reunion, and then party all night at the new club.  the next day, he goes back to heaven.

St Peter says, 'did you bring your stuff?' Larry Lobster checks... halo, check!  wings... check!  harp?  oh no!

St Peter says, 'what happened to your harp?'




Larry Lobster replies, 'i left my harp in sam clam's disco'


*rimshot*

I don't get it.

[cavehamster]

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=18554.0

Read Cain's joke and then tell me you're sure this is the kind of thread you want to be starting.

Nah, I love bad jokes.

[Freeky]

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=18554.0

Read Cain's joke and then tell me you're sure this is the kind of thread you want to be starting.

I loved that joke! It made me giggle.

[cavehamster]

So, Larry Lobster dies and goes to heaven.  He's given a harp, a halo, and some wings.  He petitions St Peter to be allowed to go back to earth for one more day, as his good friend Sam Clam is opening a club.

St Peter says it is OK, but he needs to be careful not to loose his things he just got.

So, he goes back, there is a tearful reunion, and then party all night at the new club.  the next day, he goes back to heaven.

St Peter says, 'did you bring your stuff?' Larry Lobster checks... halo, check!  wings... check!  harp?  oh no!

St Peter says, 'what happened to your harp?'




Larry Lobster replies, 'i left my harp in sam clam's disco'


*rimshot*

I don't get it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6d03gbmAzc  Maybe that will help...

[NotPublished]

Heres my ultimate joke (I can't think of anything else ) -

2 Asian walk into a bar

[notathing]

q: what's brown and sticky?

a: a stick.

[Suu]

So, Larry Lobster dies and goes to heaven.  He's given a harp, a halo, and some wings.  He petitions St Peter to be allowed to go back to earth for one more day, as his good friend Sam Clam is opening a club.

St Peter says it is OK, but he needs to be careful not to loose his things he just got.

So, he goes back, there is a tearful reunion, and then party all night at the new club.  the next day, he goes back to heaven.

St Peter says, 'did you bring your stuff?' Larry Lobster checks... halo, check!  wings... check!  harp?  oh no!

St Peter says, 'what happened to your harp?'




Larry Lobster replies, 'i left my harp in sam clam's disco'


*rimshot*

I don't get it.

I left my heaaaaart, in San...Fran...Cisco....

[-Kel-]

here's a bad joke

cavehamster: "Hey Kel, do you like mead?"

Kel: "its not bad"

cavehamster: "ill drop off some"

kel "where's the mead?!?!!? i see no mead!!!"

[Shibboleet The Annihilator]

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him
in.

[cavehamster]

here's a bad joke

cavehamster: "Hey Kel, do you like mead?"

Kel: "its not bad"

cavehamster: "ill drop off some"

kel "where's the mead?!?!!? i see no mead!!!"

Hey!  I said I would drop it off when I got my vacuum back, not teleport it over right away

I put a bottle on the bike this morning, I shall deliver it this evening.   

[-Kel-]

here's a bad joke

cavehamster: "Hey Kel, do you like mead?"

Kel: "its not bad"

cavehamster: "ill drop off some"

kel "where's the mead?!?!!? i see no mead!!!"

Hey!  I said I would drop it off when I got my vacuum back, not teleport it over right away

I put a bottle on the bike this morning, I shall deliver it this evening.   

hehehehe, YAY!!!

[cavehamster]

Q: What has 4 wheels and flies?  
A: A garbage truck.

Q: "What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic existentialist?"
A: "Is there a dog?"

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
A: A stick.

Q: What is purple and commutes?
A: A boolean grape.

Q: What's tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous?
A: A canary with the root password.

Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road?
A: Because it was on the other side.

Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet?
A: To stamp out forest fires.

Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet?
A: To stamp out flaming ducks.

Q: Why do firemen wear red suspenders?
A: To conform with departmental regulations concerning uniform dress.

Oh no, light bulb jokes:

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

Q: How many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. We'll fix it in software.

Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out of the way.

Q: How many system programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The application can work around it.

Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. We'll document it in the manual.

Q: How many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. The user can figure it out.

Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifteen. One to do it, and fourteen to write document number GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20% of the definitions are of the form "A:..... consists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks".

[BADGE OF HONOR]

My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him
in.

I'll admit this made me chortle out loud.