ITT BAD jokes.

[East Coast Hustle]

Q: Why don't you ever have to worry about starving to death in the desert?

A: you can always eat the sand which is there.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

q: what's brown and sticky?

a: a stick.

This is my favorite joke of all time

OF ALL TIME.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

Q: Why don't you ever have to worry about starving to death in the desert?

A: you can always eat the sand which is there.

This is terrible and I am texting it to Mario immediately.

[Cain]

http://www.principiadiscordia.com/forum/index.php?topic=18554.0

Read Cain's joke and then tell me you're sure this is the kind of thread you want to be starting.

Best joke ever.  Only problem: cannot condense it to Twitter form and unleash it on the web in a compact manner.  I can link to it, I suppose, but most people will get bored before finishing it.

[notathing]

q: what's brown and sticky?

a: a stick.

This is my favorite joke of all time

OF ALL TIME.

  yayy

[PeregrineBF]

Fine, fine. TBAWSMOTBAWB joke.

[quone]
There once was a Black and White Space Marine on a Black and White bike, and being the hero type person he was, wanted to marry the Chapter Master's daughter.

So he went up to the palace and the guard naturally enquired "Who goes there?", to which he replied "I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?" asked the guard, with a not unconsiderable amount of awe in his voice.

"Yes, I'm *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter," replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage."

The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your first task is to slay the dragon on Xylon III."

On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter."

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

The Black and White Space Marine then proceeded with ease to kill the dragon and six months later returned with the head of the foul beast.

On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass"

So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes,*the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your second task is to climb the highest peak on Desgrus Beta".

On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there"?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

The Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike easily climbed the mountain and returned 4 years later.

On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike.

"OK, if you complete three tasks, you may take my daughter's hand in marriage" The commander told the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike. "Your third and final task is to swim across the acid lake outside the palace".

On his way out the guard once again asked "Who goes there"?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."

Once again the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike easily completed his task and returned to the palace for the final time.
On his way into the palace the guard enquired "who goes there?", to which he replied
"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry the commander's daughter".

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike."

"OK, pass."
So the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike proceeded up to the commander's chamber.

"Who goes there?" Asked the commander.

"I'm the Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike and I want to marry your daughter" Replied the Black and White Space Marine.

"Not *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike?"

"Yes, *the* Black and White Space Marine on the Black and White bike, can I marry your daughter now?"

"Sure."[/quote]

[Triple Zero]

q: what's brown and sticky?

a: a stick.

This is my favorite joke of all time

OF ALL TIME.

MINE TOO!!!

[Triple Zero]

(wonders what it says about me when an English word joke is my favourite joke ever.)

..

wait I just remembered this is also one of my favouritest bad jokes, which is originally in Dutch, but not being a word joke also works in English:


Two idiots are waiting in front of a traffic light.

One says to the other, "It's green."

Says the other, "A frog?"

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

(wonders what it says about me when an English word joke is my favourite joke ever.)

..

wait I just remembered this is also one of my favouritest bad jokes, which is originally in Dutch, but not being a word joke also works in English:


Two idiots are waiting in front of a traffic light.

One says to the other, "It's green."

Says the other, "A frog?"

I like that one.

[cavehamster]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?  It was dead.

Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?  It was stapled to the first one.

Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?  Peer pressure.

[NotPublished]

I FOUND IT FUNNY  

HERE IS TERRIBLE JOKE

So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays".

ALSO MAY I SUGEST A SUPPLMENTARY ONE?

Man with a strawberry stuck up his bum goes to the doctor.
The Doctor says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

[cavehamster]

I FOUND IT FUNNY  

HERE IS TERRIBLE JOKE

So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?". He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays".

ALSO MAY I SUGEST A SUPPLMENTARY ONE?

Man with a strawberry stuck up his bum goes to the doctor.
The Doctor says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

[Nast]

Q: How did the blonde die?

A: She got sick and could not afford health insurance.

[Jasper]

What do you call an Arab driving an airplane?

A pilot, you dick.

[Rococo Modem Basilisk]

Two blondes walk into a bar. You would have thought the second one would have noticed.