Bicycle spags?

[Triple Zero]

This is all irrelevant though to the greatest bicycles on earth, which hark from the Netherlands and I'm aghast you have neglected to mention. None of this rear-attaching, shit-falling-off-and-you-don't-know-it-because-it's behind-you, Xtra-cycle, 90's-neo-hippie American crap.

The Dutch know how to MOVE SHIT ON A BIKE:



LOOK AT THAT SHIT! YOU COULD PUT A PERSON IN THAT BUCKET THAT IS TOO FAT TO RIDE A GODDAMN BIKE!

THE FRONT WHEEL IS TINY AS FUCK SO YOU CAN SEE OVER IT.

SEE THAT LONG THUNDERDICK OF A BAR THAT GOES TO THE FRONT WHEEL: THAT'S A MOTHERFUCKING STEERING APPARATUS THAT WOULD RAPE A GIRAFFE WITH YOUR MOM MERELY BY LOOKING AT IT.

THE MOTHERFUCKING DRIVETRAIN IS COVERED WITH PLASTIC SHIT SO YOUR FUCKING PANTIES WONT GET ZALGOED TO A FINE, BLACK PULP OF SUPERNATURAL EXCREMENT.

AND FEAST YOUR EYES ON THE DOUBLE-FUCKING-SIDED KICKSTAND. YOU CAN GO FROM FULLY ERECT, TO THRUSTING YOUR WAY THROUGH TRAFFIC IN A SINGLE GODDAMN GESTURE.

WHEN YOUR NUTS SWELL OUT OF YOUR PANTS FROM RIDING THIS BITCH YOU CAN JUST PARK THAT SHIT ON THE BACK MOTHERFUCKING CARRIER AND FEEL THE COOL BREEZE RIPPLE THROUGH YOUR SCROTE. UNLESS YOUR SWOLLEN-ASS NUTS WEIGH MORE THAN 35 KILOS. THAT'S 77 POUNDS OF BUILT-IN BRA FOR YOUR NUTS IN THE BACKSEAT ALONE.

AAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YEAH

funny you should mention that cause I (ok my gf) actually WON one of those fuckers last week from a code on a box of liquorice candy!

it's the "Babboe Big" which is worth like 1250 750 euros!!!


http://www.babboe.nl/

CHECK IT OUT, IT CAN HOLD FOUR TODDLERS :woopwoop:



SAY YOU DONT LIKE LIQUORICE AGAIN YOU FUCKS

[Eater of Clowns]

Dunno about harder to service, my point of view about simplicity in fixed gear versus multi gear is that it simply has less cogs cables and other parts that can break. Less parts is less breakage in a hostile environment, such as my city.

My bike is broken, yet I can still ride it around as a two speed.

If more of it breaks, I can still ride it as a one speed.

This is all irrelevant though to the greatest bicycles on earth, which hark from the Netherlands and I'm aghast you have neglected to mention. None of this rear-attaching, shit-falling-off-and-you-don't-know-it-because-it's behind-you, Xtra-cycle, 90's-neo-hippie American crap.

The Dutch know how to MOVE SHIT ON A BIKE:



LOOK AT THAT SHIT! YOU COULD PUT A PERSON IN THAT BUCKET THAT IS TOO FAT TO RIDE A GODDAMN BIKE!

THE FRONT WHEEL IS TINY AS FUCK SO YOU CAN SEE OVER IT.

SEE THAT LONG THUNDERDICK OF A BAR THAT GOES TO THE FRONT WHEEL: THAT'S A MOTHERFUCKING STEERING APPARATUS THAT WOULD RAPE A GIRAFFE WITH YOUR MOM MERELY BY LOOKING AT IT.

THE MOTHERFUCKING DRIVETRAIN IS COVERED WITH PLASTIC SHIT SO YOUR FUCKING PANTIES WONT GET ZALGOED TO A FINE, BLACK PULP OF SUPERNATURAL EXCREMENT.

AND FEAST YOUR EYES ON THE DOUBLE-FUCKING-SIDED KICKSTAND. YOU CAN GO FROM FULLY ERECT, TO THRUSTING YOUR WAY THROUGH TRAFFIC IN A SINGLE GODDAMN GESTURE.

WHEN YOUR NUTS SWELL OUT OF YOUR PANTS FROM RIDING THIS BITCH YOU CAN JUST PARK THAT SHIT ON THE BACK MOTHERFUCKING CARRIER AND FEEL THE COOL BREEZE RIPPLE THROUGH YOUR SCROTE. UNLESS YOUR SWOLLEN-ASS NUTS WEIGH MORE THAN 35 KILOS. THAT'S 77 POUNDS OF BUILT-IN BRA FOR YOUR NUTS IN THE BACKSEAT ALONE.

[Triple Zero]

Also, this.

[Darth Cupcake]

That is a goddamn awesome bike.

The only thing I have to contribute to this thread is the wealth of reward to be reaped from getting your bike properly fitted to you. I'd been having a lot of pain in my quads when riding lately, so I hit the bike shop, chatted with them, and they adjusted my seat (yes, I know I could've done this myself but A) the bike shop dudes are SUPER CUTE and B) they almost never charge me for ANYTHING, so why not go get sexy professionals to do shit for free?). It's now higher.

THE POWER. THE UNLIMITED POWER.

I can extend my legs fully and I go so fast and my quads don't hurt and it is just a thousand million times more comfortable.

I always get kinda freaked out when I'm passing cyclists who are riding bikes that are not at all fitted to them correctly. They tend to be less stable, moving slowly, and look like they are in great agony.

I haven't figured out if I'm an asshole or a really nice person. When biking past people whose bikes are making noises that they shouldn't, I tend to slow down and toss out, "Hey, you should get your chain oiled," or "your rear tire is a little flat," or "upshift a gear or two and you'll find this is a lot easier!" I just cringe so hard when I see people pedaling like crazy and moving SO SLOWLY because they don't use any gear other than the very lowest. *facepalm*

Well, that went off-topic.

Bikes are super rad! Anyways, EoC, your area is kinda far from Boston, but if you ever take a haul, Back Bay Bikes, at the corner of Mass and Comm Aves, is full of superbly great people who take really good care of their customers and do not suffer from bike snobbery.

[East Coast Hustle]

Which brings up a good point. If you intend to use your bike alot, it is well worth your time and effort to find a good local bike shop. Shit is going to break and/or need adjustment no matter how good of a bike you have, and there will be times when you are unwilling or unable to do the proper repairs yourself. I talked to 4 different local bike shops here in SE PDX before I found one that wasn't full of pretentious shitbags, but the shop I go to now is awesome. They really know their stuff, and if the problem is something I can fix myself easily, they'll tell me how rather than charge me for work I don't need. The first 4 shops didn't even want my business because I bought my bike from Walmart. I tried to explain to them that "I bought the bike for the frame, I want to spend money at your shop upgrading the components" but they were too wrapped up in their snobby little biketard world to get it.

For anyone in PDX who needs a good bike shop, Meticon Bikes on Foster is the fucking shit.

[Eater of Clowns]

I knew of four bike shops in this area when I was a kid.  At least two of those have closed down, and if the third didn't it moved to a location that I can't find and I can't remember its name.  The final one is a good bunch of guys, but they overcharge like crazy.  They do get props for posting awful jokes in their sign though.

[PeregrineBF]

http://www.youtube.com/d14653
Screw pedals. Use a jet engine.