I'm going to Hell for sure (Are you?)

[Number_6]

Hey guys. I'm new, so I guess you should be aware of the sort of person I am. So I'll tell the following story, which is going to be featured in my current Novel, a work in progress, following the next year of my life in a narrative format.

I boarded a train. A horrible yoke. Pretty much a steel tube with panes of glass. Purchased from France, courtesy of the EU grants given to us in exchange for our collective soul. In essence, a green-house that flies through the countryside at 70 miles an hour. And it was a very sunny day. The EU has deemed that windows on trains are a hazard to our welfare - so they wont sell us anything but windowless trains. It's like being in a plane, stuck to the ground, and is 10 times slower but somehow twice as expensive.

I digress...

There were two young girls sitting across from me, no older than 13, watching "40 Year Old Virgin" on a portable DVD player. I was horrified, I wanted to know where were these kids parents!

At some point in the journey, I felt comfortable enough to trust those around me to watch my shit, I went to the jax. A closet-size toilet. And took a piss. I had a bit of a leak issue, so I reached for the bog roll, but I couldn't find the end to pull on through the dispenser slot. So I opened up the dispenser shell to find the end of the roll, not realising nothing was holding it in place. The train made an irregular bump, and a shaken-sideways motion, and the bog roll hopped out and right into the jax. In a way, that's the only place it could have fallen. But I freaked! So I plucked it out, took a few layers off of it so only a quarter of the roll was wet. And placed it on TOP of the dispenser. I went looking for an employee, as I'm a huge fan of a well-run business and maintaining standards. But none was to be found. So I sat back down, and figured it wouldn't be such a big deal.

The train bumped again, and one of the girls across from me spilled some coke on their table, and went to get toilet roll to wipe it up. I didn't realise until she came back and began to use it, what she had gotten up for. So I didn't caution her.
So she began to use the toilet roll, and then Ayn Rand appeared to me across my table and told me this is no longer a commercial matter, it's now a personal hygiene issue, and it was in the hands of this girl. And to stop her would be Altruistic and would shield her from the consequences of her own choices. I said "Gee, thanks for that excuse Ayn", Rand morphed back into the single mother sitting across from me and asked "huh?"
Not only did this little girl wipe up the coke, but she also decided to rub the toilet roll all over the table. And then rub some more. She'd hold it in her hand for a moment. Drop it. Rub her face. Pick Pringles out of her molars, and fiddle with her personal possessions, the tissue remained at the end of their table for 2 hours.
The sheer audacity of her behaviour, pissy tissue or no, warped my mind for the rest of the day. Sticky, germ infested tissue, lovely! Let's rub it all over the place.

Content in my conservatism, I sat back smirking to myself for the remaining 3 and a half hours of my journey.


That's my dark side. What's yours look like?

[Doktor Howl]

My dark side?  I like to make fun of people who hallucinate on trains.

Like this ---> 

[Number_6]

There were no windows! Oxygen man! You're fucked without it 

[Doktor Howl]

There were no windows! Oxygen man! You're fucked without it 

Also,  at Ayn Rand, in any context.

[Faust]

There were no windows! Oxygen man! You're fucked without it 

Also,  at Ayn Rand, in any context.

Knowing the Irish rail system, it was carbon monoxide poisoning, and ayn rand is the person you see if you are going to hell.
Having taken the same second hand french trains I'm surprised there was any toilet roll on the train at all and that it didn't fall into a pile of used needles that occupy the bathrooms.

[Doktor Howl]

There were no windows! Oxygen man! You're fucked without it 

Also,  at Ayn Rand, in any context.

Knowing the Irish rail system, it was carbon monoxide poisoning, and ayn rand is the person you see if you are going to hell.
Having taken the same second hand french trains I'm surprised there was any toilet roll on the train at all and that it didn't fall into a pile of used needles that occupy the bathrooms.

Didn't read enough to get that last bit.  Between seeing him shit on LMNO's stuff and seeing Ayn Rand mentioned, I lost any serious interest.

[Faust]

There were no windows! Oxygen man! You're fucked without it 

Also,  at Ayn Rand, in any context.

Knowing the Irish rail system, it was carbon monoxide poisoning, and ayn rand is the person you see if you are going to hell.
Having taken the same second hand french trains I'm surprised there was any toilet roll on the train at all and that it didn't fall into a pile of used needles that occupy the bathrooms.

Didn't read enough to get that last bit.  Between seeing him shit on LMNO's stuff and seeing Ayn Rand mentioned, I lost any serious interest.

To be fair, he wasn't dissing LMNO's he was responding directly to the first post of the thread. That is a pretty N00b move, but forgivable.
Ayn rand used as anything other then a curse word is odd though.

[Doktor Howl]

There were no windows! Oxygen man! You're fucked without it 

Also,  at Ayn Rand, in any context.

Knowing the Irish rail system, it was carbon monoxide poisoning, and ayn rand is the person you see if you are going to hell.
Having taken the same second hand french trains I'm surprised there was any toilet roll on the train at all and that it didn't fall into a pile of used needles that occupy the bathrooms.

Didn't read enough to get that last bit.  Between seeing him shit on LMNO's stuff and seeing Ayn Rand mentioned, I lost any serious interest.

To be fair, he wasn't dissing LMNO's he was responding directly to the first post of the thread. That is a pretty N00b move, but forgivable.
Ayn rand used as anything other then a curse word is odd though.

I have no evidence that he was responding to the first post.  Also, posting THIS shit after tl;dr-ing that thread is an indication that we may have our next Lamanite/Cowass.

[Doktor Howl]

All that's missing now is for number 6 to tell us we're not real Discordians, and to tell us all this was a sociological experiment of some kind.

[-Kel-]

tl;dr

[Doktor Howl]

[Fredfredly ⊂(◉‿◉)つ]

my dad bought me that magnet 

[Payne]

[Number_6]

I love you guys

I wasn't making any references to anyone's Ego, or their salt. So chill out.
I refuse to be held to standards I don't understand, thanks but no thanks.

My life is interesting enough without having to experiment with other people. Again, thanks but no thanks.


Now could someone please explain this to me? I'm perplexed.

[Doktor Howl]

I love you guys

I wasn't making any references to anyone's Ego, or their salt. So chill out.
I refuse to be held to standards I don't understand, thanks but no thanks.

My life is interesting enough without having to experiment with other people. Again, thanks but no thanks.


Now could someone please explain this to me? I'm perplexed.

Yeah.  It was garbage.  And after you shat all over LMNO's writing in the 30 days thread, I felt your piece of drivel deserved a little extra attention.