Restless

[Mangrove]

OP,

If you decide to experiment with heroin you deserve to have your fingers cut off and fed back to you.

Grow the fuck up.



Mang - in one of those rare moments where he speaks directly to 'the people'.

[Mesozoic Mister Nigel]

I'm not trying to impress anyone, I have a legitimate mental disorder, type one bipolar disorder with rapid cycling and psychotic features according to Dr. Tzoumas, I need to find his card to find out how to spell it right, and a substance abuse problem. I just treat it as a joke because I don't know what else to do, also so I can talk to other people about it, because if I actually talk to people about these problems seriously they usually treat me as if I am inhuman scum and i much rather have them like me for who I am instead of some fake act I put on or for them to hate me.

Anthony or Jennifer? Do they have you on lithium or anything else?

I have a friend with rapid-cycling bipolar, lithium has helped a great deal.

As far as substance abuse, try stopping. Once you've stopped it's a lot easier to not do it.

[Mangrove]

I'm not trying to impress anyone,

Good. Because you're new here, I'll point out that fact that we've had a lot of people in the past who want to demonstrate just how 'wacky' they are either by flaunting mental illness and/or bore us to death with their tedious drug stories. It's desperately uncool and many posters on the site will not respond favorably to this sort of behaviour. You've probably figured that part out by now.

I have a legitimate mental disorder, type one bipolar disorder with rapid cycling and psychotic features

I'm genuinely sorry to hear that. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt by assuming that this is a true diagnosis from a qualified medical professional. Again, we've had no end of people who have self-diagnosed with Wikipedia or whatever.  It's annoying, because it's a disservice to people with legit medical problems, especially when the 'outlandish' types wear their alleged conditions like a badge and think it gives them a 'get out of jail free' card when they act like a dick.

and a substance abuse problem.

Again, sorry to hear that. My earlier hostility is due to the fact that I've had to be in close proximity to multiple junkies over the last 2 years or so and it's been nothing but a fucking nightmare. If you are not already using heroin, then don't. It is not only a total blight on your life, it'll bring all manner of misery to anyone you know who thinks you're an ok guy. I can't emphasize enough just how much a bad idea heroin is.

I just treat it as a joke because I don't know what else to do, also so I can talk to other people about it, because if I actually talk to people about these problems seriously they usually treat me as if I am inhuman scum and i much rather have them like me for who I am instead of some fake act I put on or for them to hate me.

My experience has been so far is that, I wish so much that the people in my life who have substance abuse problems did indeed talk 'seriously' rather than lying, being in denial, or generally trying to downplay the severity of their situation. (Though we all can appreciate a certain amount of gallows humour.)

I hope you can get the help but you have to want it. Not just a little bit...not, kinda sorta, you have to want it more than anything else in the world. Until you reach that stage, then getting help is just one of a number of ideas floating around in your head. To  move on you will have to want help so much, even when people are not listening, even when it seems like you're getting shut down, you will have to want it so much that you will persist until you get what you need.

I have seen plenty of people who are like 'yeah, I know I do heroin...yeah...I should probably stop...' and then nothing happens. Or they will kick for a while and then it's back to 'well, if I only do say one bag every few days or so, then I won't back to like I was last time.' They may even go into rehab for a bit, then it's back to business. Hell, I know of junkies trying to enlist new customers in rehab facilities and people going to NarcAnon type meetings in hope of finding different dealers.

If you have true friends or family members you can rely on, then I really think you need to go to them for support. Definitely speak to your Dr. Do some research, make phone calls. Be prepared to get a certain amount of run around. Be prepared for red tape - if you're truly serious, you will sit out the bullshit to get the desired result.

If you have friends who also have substance problems - AVOID AT ALL COSTS. Anyone you know who has substance abuse issues will be of no help to you whatsoever at this point. Nothing will lower the bar quite like a friend with a monkey on his back. If you're serious about getting clean, be prepared to cut your old life off with a vengeance. Some of the people you have used with will, almost certainly, resent any effort you make to improve your life. They will either treat you like a bitch or plead with all their might to 'just have a little' because you reflect the weakness in themselves and it's an ugly, painful reminder when a person who's been part of the junk scene doesn't want to play any more.

You will find there's a wide variety of opinion and experience on this forum related to drug matters. Likewise there's a range of experience concerning mental health matters too. If you lurk the forum more, get a feel for this place and approach the other members in a relaxed and honest way, you may be surprised how willing they will be to lend an ear or help out.

Given how new you are to PD.com, wading in with provocation and then telling everyone you're 'crazy drug user', was pretty much the worst way to make an impression. The only thing you could've done to make it worse was be either a racist, a misogynist, a homophobe or a pedophile (or a bizarre hybrid of any of these). Still, you're here now, so if you want to make productive use of your presence, just take a few deep breaths, be yourself and study the interactions among the members. Some people get it straight away, some pick it up after a few hitches and some are utterly beyond help and never get 'it' at all. They're usually destroyed in some alarming & comical way before becoming woven into the folklore of the forum. (Just look for Lamanite, Ambassador Klok Kaos, IANAR etc if you want to know what I'm talking about.)

Good luck. I do hope you will find a clean & stable life.

Mangrove

[Freeky]

Hey, new guy. What Mang said.

Also, we've had a rash of "super wacky really real Discordians" recently, so please don't take any over-the-top vitriol personally. As long as you treat everyone as a fellow biped, you will (probably) be treated the same. If you get nasty and defensive about a misunderstanding, expect to get harried. It's easier to just outright admit that you were in the wrong and apologize (not that you have reason to yet.)

Here's hoping that you'll be one who sticks around a while. This is a good place to be, for the most part. 

[the last yatto]

http://1stholistic.com/reading/prose/liv_zen-and-the-art-of-looking.htm

[BadBeast]

I can't get any rest what so fucking ever, I am on edge for no fucking reason what so ever. I wish I had the money to buy some god damn drugs because I feel so much like shit right now. I want the whole world to fucking burn and everything to be gone including myself in a black nothingness. No emotions, no hate, no love, just fucking abyss. To become one with everything, and to be nothing. Seriously my brain is just so much fuck right now it is not even funny.

Go and have a shit. I always feel much better after a good shit.

[Cramulus]

to mang for solid advice

substance abuse is part of the Conspiracy^TM

don't get me wrong, it's good to screw with your brain a little bit -- but dependence keeps people down, stuck in their bodies, stuck in their lizard brains, unable to sleep at night. They limit your potential. You could be a superhero, you know.

[BadBeast]

Some very fine advice here. After a long hard struggle with substances myself, I have in the last year,  found a, if not always comfortable, level, at least a manageable one, with no constant stress. The breathing space this has afforded me gets more valuable by the day.

But I do stand by my first statement. A good shit, is like a panacea sometimes, as far as my mood is concerned.